~Love was that which set ablaze my heart that cold night – when I sat sipping warm rum, feeling its tranquil warmth shroud my loneliness. I often chose to stare through this window, as the empty fields of winter grass reminded me of her; when she wasn’t there. I still dream of her empty pillow. I still can smell her as if it were only yesterday – when she dressed so elegantly – kissing me on the cheek and saying goodbye. My heart could no longer withstand pain – and those tiny moments, when she pretended to care seemed almost enough to subdue my madness. Even now it seems, in my somber existence – that she is only out with her friends; just like it once was – when she wasn’t there.~

These memories can never be enough to quench the desire or need for real love. People tell me that I live in a fantasy world, where these types of romantic ideals are unrealistic – and in the real world, they call this infatuation. The truth is, I don’t want to marry someone based on infatuation. After years with the same person some say, the intoxicating feelings subside. I agree that to feel this way is inappropriate through all the hours of every day – but should you not feel this way when alone with your lover? Cannot this earthshaking rush of euphoric desire exist in our private moments?

I still dream of a day that it will, and will never be able to stop hoping. There are people who are fortunate enough to have this type of love. I am not one of them. Is it possible that we have more than one person in this world that would be this ideal partner? Perhaps there are hundreds of such people, but I only need one. I think sometimes – when in the past, I could have been married. If I had, I would still be dreaming of the real love – the real love I so long for. For this reason, and no other – I would rather be alone.
Authors note:
This upwelling of emotion was inspired by another writer, whose beautiful prose taught me something which has helped me immensely. I learned I am not the only one who feels this way.
I have long written tales of horror and stories of nightmarish psychotic frenzy. I would have scoffed at the idea of ever writing about something romantic. Never did I expect this to happen.
It did happen, and for me – held the key to unlocking a part of my soul I’ve suppressed since childhood. I was going to publish another story I wrote – but because of inspiration – I chose this instead. You never know when inspiration will come, but when it does – it must be done!
Thanks Marzie!
p.s. I really don’t plan to stay alone. It’s just an expression, but could be part of some powerfully
romantic stories! (I am a writer you know)

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