Archive for June, 2007

How To Find Your Blogging Voice

I recently wrote a post Jobs and Careers: My Journey to Happiness which prompted a friend Jonathan Phillips to write a most excellent post, and now I feel compelled to write a post inspired by it!

We’re talking about finding your own voice, finding a way to make what you do your own and simply adding personality to your work. How does one go about doing this? How can you make what you do your own? What is your own voice? I’m going to recommend some things you might not have thought about in your quest for blogging originality. There are a lot of people who, even armed with this knowledge, still have no idea where to begin in finding their own voice. Some of these ideas have nothing to do with blogging , writing or making money. However, in them you can find the essence of what I’m trying to get at and hopefully will be able to apply it to blogging.

  • Learn to play a musical instrument. I recommend this idea over all others because music encompasses so much in the way of imagination and self reliance. It really doesn’t matter what instrument or what kind of music you like, just learning how to play can help you in endless ways. Singing also counts as playing an instrument though I do recommend highly that you learn how to read music. Once you get a little skill under your belt, go play with other musicians or learn to record. Most important of all, find a teacher that teaches a progressive system. You can learn classical guitar, but you don’t want a teacher that only teaches what is written in a music book. Learn to play blues, rock, jazz or anything that forces you to learn to improvise music. You want the ability to just play whatever comes to mind on the spot, much like speaking in conversation. If you are having trouble finding originality, music will help you get there and that is a fact.
  • Learn a martial art or yoga. This also can help you find your own voice. I know it may sound crazy to some people, but it can surely help you. If you do study a martial art, apply the same principle as before. Find a progressive teacher who is not bound by rigid tradition but who helps students find what works for them. You want to make sure they actually fight in class also. Some schools only point fight and this will never help you understand self reliance. A few arts I’ll mention that would be good candidates are: Jeet Kune Do, free style jujitsu, Aikido, Hap Ki Do and even western boxing or wrestling. these aren’t the only arts as any art can be the right choice if you have the right teacher.
  • Learn to paint, draw, or write poetry. As you can see, everything I’m recommending is an art of some sort. That’s my point. Blogging is an art. If you don’t see blogging as an art, then maybe it’s time to learn a lot more about art and apply it it to your blog!

Jonathan said in his post,
“If everybody knew how to write killer blog posts, catchy headlines, and stuff that gets massive traffic and links everytime it’s published. The blogosphere would be boring. A little creativity never hurt anyone. ;) In fact, innovative and creative ideas are more likely to skyrocket your traffic, than the usual stuff. I believe the key is to learn everything you can, then forget about it, and try going a different route.”

Hey, these are words of wisdom. I especially like the last line. If you approach your blog artistically as well as scientifically this will become the norm. Once you have an idea under your belt, run with it and eventually it will become something ingrained in your psyche. After that you forget it and move on; that knowledge and intuitive perception you have gained will continue to serve you for as long as you blog.

Please don’t just read, leave a comment. I will respond to whatever you have to say. I will also come to your blog and leave comments. To me, comments make the blog world go ’round:)

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3rd Generation Viral Matrix: Viral Icons

If you have any trouble with this refer to this great instruction guide by Jeanchia.

I got this from The Thinking Blog and these icon based viral links seem pretty cool. The thinking blog stated that visual links were more their style simply because they are visual.

The idea is simple and follows suit with the previous viral schemes but instead it is done with favicons. When an ALT tag is used to describe your image with an alternative text, this can help to improve your page relevance. In other words, if ALT attribute contains keywords that are specific to your page’s topic, it will help your keyword density.

Moreover, when optimizing a site/web page for Google, remember that this attribute is taken into great consideration by Googlebot when spidering and indexing your pages. Thus, the ALT tag of an hyperlinked image tag has the same importance of a text link.

 

VIRAL-ICONS

 

���Copy and paste the VIRAL-ICONS and instructions below this line���

Instructions:

Important Update – Please read here!

1.) Copy and paste the matrix of �Viral Icons� below courtesy of Ilker Yoldas from The Thinking Blog. (to support Ilker�s quest of launching his own Internet Startup with a student budget, please consider subscribing to the Full RSS Feed and enjoy interesting posts in the meantime. “Knowledge grows when shared!”).

2.) Upload your non-animated favicon (GIF image of size 16×16 pixels) to ImageShack, a similar free image hosting server or to your own server provided by your hosting service if you have one.

3.) Substitute the Host Icon and one of the �Viral Icons� in the matrix with your ALT text of choice and your blog�s URL. Maximum of 3 specific keywords for the ALT text are best for it to be effective.

Here is an example: Example Viral-Icon Code

4.) When you get a ping back from someone that has your icon in one of their �Viral Icons�, practice good karma by copying his/her Host Icon�s code (automatically the associated ALT tag will also be copied) and paste it over one of your �Viral Icons� below.

5.) Invite your readers to do the same and soon this can grow virally.

Host Icon: blogging blog writer

 

VIRAL-ICONS

 

Affordable Graphic Design asian celebrity Internet Business Ideas Make Money Blog The Broken Bow The AnitoKid Music Technology Life Technology for Humans Mommy's Getaway and Chat Learning Without Limits Blog Branding & Money Making KLAPKiDS Daniel Shin Heroin Codependency Daily Brain Training AGLOCO Internet Marketing Complete Help Blogger Nostalgia Manila blogging blog writer copywriter blog writer Domestic Reviews Life First Time Dad Feedget adsense Artist, Portraits, Art Blogging traffic tips Personal Finance Blog MMMiii Sarah Cada A Great Pleasure Constructible Boy Nepal Tibet Art snapshots of life Anything Goes! Nepal Shop Dzi Beads Simple Life Tickling Your Senses Kev Walkabout Manila Mom Add Your Link Paid To Blog Rienzie Blog Personal Thoughts To Blogs Cari Duit Kabayan Junction Yummy Silicon Chips The Biggest Loser Web 2.0 Pro Audio Matrix Entrepreneurs and Freelancers Biggest Italian Jackass Make Money Online Viralink Viral Link Love Pinny Blog Complete Help Blogger YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE YOUR KEYWORDS HERE

 

Rules: No Porn Sites, Only 1 icon per person (i.e. don’t hog the ViralIcons!), and please don’t tamper with other people’s ALT tags, URLs or favicons.

Important: Once I get a ping back from you (I promise to do the best I can), I will add your favicon and the associated code you designate as �Host Icon� here, replacing one of the �Viral Icons� from the matrix above. Feel free to drop a comment here with your blog URL, ALT tags and favicon URL (we don’t mind if it is the same all over the blogosphere).

Optional: Display the �Viral Icons� badge on your sidebar and promote your blog. As more and more bloggers copy and paste the �Viral Icons� from the matrix above, the more backlinks you will have with your ALT text, and in turn the more promotion your blog with get. The sooner you participate, the more link love you will receive!

Promote Your Site
���Copy and paste the VIRAL-ICONS and instructions above this line���

10 Comments

Jobs and Careers: My Journey to Happiness

A friend of mine here in the blogosphere, Randy Maness , wrote about how he felt his life was going nowhere. He’s a young guy and is at a crossroad that many of us face in our lives. It stirred up a lot of memories and I have the answer to his dilemma. I have to tell you a little about myself so you all will get my point.

I have a great mom who taught me how to read before I started kindergarten. The first book I read was The Swiss Family Robinson and I was so proud I read aloud to all who would listen. It’s amazing how a good parent can make reading fun at that age, so I am fortunate.

I started college as a food science major, became bored and switched to a music major. I am a lifelong guitarist who can read music and improvise; I practiced sometimes ten hours a day every day and never became the least bit uninterested. As a music major in school I made good grades, but it sucked the inspiration out of me. You can’t teach art or music to anyone. You can show them the mechanics and theories but they must teach themselves in the end. You can only teach them how to teach themselves!

I switched my major to biochemistry and to this day I’ll never know why. I have but 17 credit hours remaining to earn my degree, but I had grown to hate how it was taught. Most graduates will have a job which will be factory-like work. You do step by step what you are instructed and you’ll retire doing the same thing. The lucky students or natural geniuses get all the jobs inventing and discovering. That is the education systems fault. They expect you to be mediocre and the few star students will shine. An example is students are taught formulas in math so they can solve problems. Just plug in the numbers and boom, there’s your answer. That’s the problem right there. They should be taught how to understand the theory and derive their own formulas. They won’t need to remember which formula to use and they actually understand how it works! However, when the system expects mediocrity they teach mediocrity.

I quit college my last semester and moved to Phoenix Arizona to study Luthiery. No, it’s not a religion; it is the art of building guitars by hand. I loved it and to this day have handmade over 250 guitars. Upon graduation I was amazingly hired as a guitar design engineer for Peavey Electronics Corporation in Meridian Mississippi. This was a great job and the company wanted to change their reputation for making the industries worst instruments. It was a dream come true.

Then came the political nightmare I sensed even before I started. There is a showcase of every music instrument manufacturer on earth every year in Anaheim California called the NAMM show. It was just after Christmas and we faced the impossible task of handbuilding 75 or so custom shop level guitars. Each must be perfect as most were signature models for famous rock stars. The big star at the time was Eddie Van Halen from the band Van Halen. I worked for one-hundred and twenty-seven hours without sleep only stopping to use the bathroom and eat. Thats 127 hours of misery I’ll never forget. My feet and calves turned black from all the weird crouching that happens doing this type of work. My hands were shaking and I was in a stupor of exhaustion. They told me to go home, shower and come right back to fly to Anaheim for the five day show! I was told I’d be fired if I didn’t go.

The owner of the company, Hartley Peavey, staged photographs of how he and Eddie Van Halen built the guitars and gave a speech at the show before thousands to display the pictures on a big screen. Now tell me that wouldn’t make you want to throw his body in a lake somewhere. Soon after, I quit the job I had dreamed of all my life.

I have dozens of other certifications in so many types of jobs, I couldn’t begin to list them all without some research. I have finally come to the answer I wish I had known 15 years ago. I want to work for myself. I am working on several things now that make me happy. I’m writing two books and learning the skills needed for success on the web. I love it and have found my calling! Do what makes you happy. Like my friend at that point in his life trying to decide, I stressed loving the job should be the criteria for choosing one. Remember, even if you love your job it may turn out to be a nasty divorce. I wish the real world weren’t full of these situations, but it is – and loving a job was never meant to be that hard.

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What is Art: What is Love


What path are you on? What destination do you seek? What is the sound of one hand clapping? What is enlightenment?

I travel all paths in all directions, to all hierarchies within all depths. I am the path yet don’t need it. A group of musicians play. I join in with my melody. I play my melody over their chords and rhythm. I play across their accompaniment; I play through their chords; under their chords; dive in and out of their chords; I engulf their chords and now they play across, over and through me. I don’t seek enlightenment. Enlightenment simply refers to, or describes my artistic journey of discovery and expression. Enlightenment is not a destiny or a place of your answer. The enlightened never consider enlightenment as they are, the enlightened. They are that which is becoming.

To be a writer or artist is a state of living expression emanating from no ego. The artist never finishes and has never started. The artist is the act of honest expression. The martial arts legend Bruce Lee said of his art, “Martial art means to honestly express yourself”.
That is the definition of any art, writing, music, design or creation. The magic is created as it happens, or as it becomes.

Do not seek deep meanings but let what you express have meaning through what your flow of liveness becomes as it does.

Everything that will ever occur already has and everything that already occurred hasn’t occurred yet and all encompassed happens now. The power is in not seeking that which does not exist. All art expressed is the unheard sound of one hand clapping which never produced sound. The artist simply becomes. Thinking about what you will write or draw is the single greatest hindrance to expressing yourself artistically.

To love another is art from the soul. I cannot stop it. I love someone as expression. Perhaps the love is returned, as to love is an act of becoming. . .

Bobby Revell

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A Study in Blog-types

I was enjoying another evening of blogger watching and accidentally read one which is bad luck on Fridays (21 years of bad luck). I was overtaken by a psychic vision – I can’t predict when my ability to see beyond will occur, so I let my clairvoyant friend, detached subconsciousness help me out with that.

In my vision, the secret members of the Illuminati were discussing how with their help, blogging is slowly becoming the the pastime like T.V. They want us all deeply involved in our own little cerebral prison cells, just oblivious to reality. They kept referring to how the adsense project was no longer effective. They need something new to mesmerize the populous into chasing the illusive reward of unfathomable riches for another ten years. I then was privileged to hear the reason they want us to think of them as a foolish old story shrouded in folklore. It turns out that all they want to do is sit on top of mountains of cash and smoke marijuana! I was right all along!

Sometimes I will track another blogger or group of bloggers and study how they migrate and alter content to help themselves blend in to whatever it is they are compelled to connect to. Enter the disconsolated, attention needy blogger. They endlessly compare themselves to other bloggers; this is how their imperative blog-comfort zone is maintained. What they read and who they befriend is constantly readjusted and optimized dynamically so they will satisfy that which controls them. Their ego must at all times be kept in a state of equilibrium. They divide friends into groups:

  • the less intelligent lost blogger
  • the superior imaginative blogger
  • the semi-equal
  • the empty filler-blogger

They can’t have too many superiors nor too many inferiors. They want the middle ground. Why? It is so they can hide in the mix. They fight perpetually for attention so they can hide in a carefully engineered blogosphere subgroup.

My favorite is the cash-money brother blogger. I do actually like a few cash blogs. I like the female blogger LFXT she’s really cool and is a sweetheart. I also like Jonathan Phillips blog,Smart,Wealthy,Rich He makes his blog have all the characteristics of the “probloggers” and writes similar content. He’ll then explain how to create the illusion of wealth and appear pro. A lot of bloggers create similar appearances , but he’s the only one blatantly admitting his disguise and gives you lessons! That is humorous and very cool. Most of the others just follow blindly in massive hordes only to remain forever in mediocrity. I’m still waiting for problogger to read my blog and write a personality laden comment on one of my posts. Well, okay. . .I’m really not waiting.

I am currently designing a program that writes payer per post articles on twelve blogs, with ten daily posts each. That’s 120 paid posts per day at a minimum of $5.00 each. That’s $600.00 per day or $50,400 per year at a minimum. I’m joking of course but I would need a computer to do the work because I would die of of an empty soul if I tried to do that.

My favourite blogs are and will always be very cool personal blogs with interesting authors at the helm. I thrive on comments from my friends and commenting on their blogs in return. Just remember, whatever you write – write from the soul:)

Bobby Revell

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August 28, 2005: A Day To Remember

My weekly short story this week is the true account of my experience in Hurricane Katrina:

August 28rd 2005 (the actual landfall was August 29th though it all seemed like one long day) was a day I will never forget as long as I live. The day before, I made the decision to stay at my Mother’s house because of the impending doom. The doom I speak of was the day Hurricane Katrina hit the Mississippi gulf coast. I have been asked many times, “Why on Earth did you stay?”

Well, we have been through many hurricanes and we made a poor choice deciding to ride the storm out that day. I remember watching the the weather reports show Katrina cross Florida into the Gulf of Mexico. I then saw world renown meteorologist Jim Cantore from The Weather Channel standing on the the beach 10 miles from my Mothers house reporting, “I have a horrible feeling in my stomach about this storm. I’ve seen many come and go, but I have never had a feeling like this before.”

hurricane katrina

I’m thinking please shut up Jim, you are not supposed to guess the weather! I thought, as many coast residents that it wouldn’t be that bad.

A few hours later I noticed the storm had been upgraded to a category 3. Category 3 is nothing for people from here, but I started getting a sick feeling in my stomach also. Gee, thanks Jim. I had most of the windows boarded up and my Mother was more nervous by the minute; I tried my best to hide my fear but felt the same. We knew we couldn’t leave at that point so all we had was each other.

Then, that point in the storm where things start to get scary had arrived. We lost power and turned on the battery powered radio. The wind started howling and rain was beating hard on the windows. We heard on the radio that the storm was staring to hit land and had been upgraded to a category 5.

I have to be honest here, this was the most afraid I have ever felt my entire life. My poor mother was a nervous wreck, pacing the floor smoking cigarettes like she was in a smoking contest. It became almost pitch black outside and the wind became so loud we could barely hear each other talking. I heard one of the windows break in the back of the house. I ran to the back to make a quick repair and my heart was pounding; I knew I had to take care of my Mom so I carried on.

Loud explosive noises kept coming from the structure of our house as the wind only grew more powerful. I was sweating, scared and we thought the house was about to be blown apart. Then the scariest thing I have ever felt occurred. The side entrance door to the car port blew open ripping the entire door frame apart.

At this point I couldn’t hear a word my mother said no matter how loud she screamed. I placed the door back in it’s position, (It was in one piece though the door frame was missing) squatted down low and simply held it closed. I knew I had to hold it in place because we, along with everything in the house would be sucked out.

I have no idea where I got the strength to hold that door in place, but I did. I know I love my mom and I saved her life, but her being there gave me equal strength which enabled me to save us both. I held the door closed for eight long, grueling hours. Finally, the wind subsided enough to allow me the golden opportunity to nail it shut. After that, I could barely walk. I hugged my mom and we both cried – we were still alive.

I checked out the house and noticed that in the den, there was a giant hole around fifteen feet across peering directly to the sky. I stood being rained on inside the house for the first time in my life. Mom and I were safe. It was a mistake to stay for this storm, and this was a lesson never to be forgotten.

It was several days before we were able to see the actual damage to the entire area. We live by an elementary school where the U.S. military delivered food, water and ice. We were very lucky to be so close to the resource. I know that many people were not.

I took a job after the storm working as a quality control safety inspector for the Army Core of Engineers to aid in storm recovery. I saw firsthand the effects of this storm. To put it mildly, there was simply nothing left. I have never seen damage like that before. Everywhere we went, we just shook our heads in disbelief. The power of Mother Nature is something I will never take for granted again. I love you Mom!

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Revellian: The Thinking Blogger Award

Recently I was Awarded the thinking blogger award by the one and only Wonder Woman! I must admit that awards don’t mean a lot to me but in this case It does. Thank you Wonder Woman for picking me and now I will reveal my five picks for the thinking blogger award. I apologize for taking so long as I have been terribly ill the past five days. None of these are in any particular order.

I chose The Healthy Lifestyle Blog because it is the best blog I’ve seen yet on living healthy. It has everything you need to know about vitamins, herbs and natural remedies. It’s extremely well written and concise. We all should read this because taking care of ourselves should be one of our most important concerns!

Next I selected Beamansworld
This blog is truly fantastic. I personally think he is one of the most talented writers anywhere on the web.

The next blog picked is BlogLives
This blog is about us, the bloggers themselves. The author Francis Simisim has made a huge effort promoting his blog and I think he deserves credit for doing something original for all of us.
If you haven’t joined, take 5-10 minutes and join this new community project!

The next is Random Magus
This is a wonderful personal blog that I have enjoyed reading for a while now. The author is very compassionate and always has something good to say. I really like this blog a lot.

My final pick is Mariuca: Wish Upon a Falling Star
The author, Marzie has become a very good friend of mine. I used to think that you really couldn’t have real friends on line. She changed my whole outlook on this and has been very supportive of me and my blog. Her blog is my favourite. It has a very “magical” vibe and lots of the cutest kitty pictures anywhere on the web.

The participation rules are simple:

1. If, and only if, you get the Thinking Blogger Award, write a post with links to 5 blogs that make you think,
2. Link to this post so that people can easily find the exact origin of the meme,
3.
Optional: Proudly display the ‘Thinking Blogger Award’ with a link to the post that you wrote (here is an alternative silver version if gold doesn’t fit your blog).

DiSjoiNteD INtelLigenCE: It’s a Major Award!

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When Little Timmy Laughed


I had always had the ability to sense a persons intentions, to feel sadness or dislike even if they weren’t there. When just a boy I learned how someone could act one way yet actually feel another even if there were no reason at all to want to. I knew every white lie told by my parents, no matter how small. I kept it all to myself though. I just started working at a new job in Phoenix and was starting a new life, away from everyone I have ever known. This was exactly what I needed.

I began feeling settled in at my new job and things were great. They let us off early one Thursday afternoon so I ran home to change so I could enjoy some daylight for a change. As I approached my apartment door I heard a woman crying in great pain upstairs. I heard a child say, “Please mommy, where’s daddy? Where did daddy go?”
I took it upon my self to make sure everything was alright. Their door was open, and if anything I could ask them to close it if no problems were too serious.
“Hello! Are you alright?” I said as I knocked on the door.
“Yes. I suppose. Please come in.” said the teary eyed woman sitting at the kitchen table with her son. They pulled a chair out for me and asked me to sit.
I said, “Actually, I don’t have a lot of time. I heard the crying and thought . . .”
Then I was uncomfortably stuck listening to a story I didn’t really want to hear. All I know is that her husband left earlier that day. I didn’t want to seem insensitive but I did the best I could. Soon I was back at home and relaxed watching a little TV and fell asleep soon after.

After work the following day I arrived home as usual and noticed my heartbroken neighbor’s door was closed; no psychiatric treatment today – I’m not really wanting to be involved in it anyway. I notice that the little red light is blinking rapidly on my answering machine. I relaxed and pounded down a cold one – now it’s time for my messages.
*beep* “Hello? Mr. Holden? It’s me Roxanne – the girl upstairs. I hope you don’t mind me calling you but I was just kinda wondering what you were gonna do today. Anyway. . .talk to you later.”

How did she get my phone number, I thought. Then another message.
*beep* “Hey Jack, hope you don’t mind me calling you by your first name. Anyway, I was cooking lunch and hoped you would come by. Call me!”
I pressed pause on my messages noticing the count was thirty-seven. Thirty-seven messages from her? Today had been bad enough already. Earlier at work I was scolded by a co-worker because I didn’t want to go on a second date with her friend Sharon, whom she had set me up with the previous week. Sharon and I had nothing in common and I just wasn’t attracted to her. Now I have this to deal with and I only wanted to relax. I was intrigued though, at what could possibly have been said on all those messages. So I press play.

*beep* “Hey Jack, guess you couldn’t make it. I’ll save some dinner for you so you can eat without having fast food. My son Timmy really likes you and he wants you to come play Monopoly with him. You wouldn’t want to let a needy child go without attention would you? We will be waiting for you, bye now!”

*beep* “Jack, I just went and bought a new bathing suit and you need to come rub suntan lotion on me. I’m down by the pool, I know you want me and I may just eat you up Mr. so get down here!”

*beep* “Jack. I don’t know if I said something – or done something to make you mad. I would REALLY APPRECIATE it if you come to the pool. We really need to talk about us!”
I stop the machine again. It was 5:30 pm and I kept wondering when this psycho-bitch was going to knock on my door. Right at that exact moment came a loud knock at the door.
She screamed, “Jack! Are you in there? Your truck is outside but I didn’t here you come up. Timmy really needs to see you. Jack?”

I am stunned at this point, wondering how in the hell does craziness like this happen to me? I couldn’t decide if I should call the police or what I should do. I decided just to be very quiet. I couldn’t resist the temptation-
*beep* “Look Jack, I don’t know what your problem is but you have some SERIOUS EXPLAINING to do. My husband leaves and now you – Mr. I’m so concerned about you – better not pull one over on me. I thought we had something special!”

*beep* “I’m sorry. I don’t want to bitch, I know you had a long day at work. It’s just that me and Timmy can’t hold up under another disappointment.” BAM! A thunderous knock at my door.
I press pause and she starts yelling – the phone starts ringing – the answering machine just starts playing her messages as I am on the verge of a psychotic meltdown. I answer the phone and it’s Sharon, the other woman I didn’t want to talk to.
“Hello?” I miraculously retain a polite tone.
“Jack? It’s Sharon. I think we need to talk. Me and my momma talked and I need a man like you. I’m coming over right now!” I hear nothing but the symphonies of Leviathan playing a tritone based death march rippling with diminished chromaticism – guiding me to my hellish crypt of never ending agony. Then it all settled to one fiendish chord sheathed in perverse wickedness. Suddenly I couldn’t see – blinding whiteness, scorching my retinas. Aqueous and vitreous humour fluids began bubbling, frothing searing madness vomited from my occipital pits as all I hear is the knocking and the screaming. Little Timmy is heart broken and I am the vile, wretched human leech that doth suckle the goodness from their hearts.

I wondered if I had died just realizing there’s pure silence. Things remained quiet, still my anxiety just waited for the climactic finish to this night. After pacing nervously for a while I peeked out through the blinds into the parking lot. I was shocked to see the woman I was set up with but didn’t like sitting on the hood of my car next to Roxanne; they sat drinking liquor straight from the bottle while laughing and comparing stories of why they both were snubbed by that uncaring guy in apartment B-6. Suddenly I heard a light tap on my door and I knew right away who it was. I opened it and let little Timmy in.
He revealed a look of disgust on his face, rolled his eye’s back saying, “I guess you can guess why my Daddy left huh Mr.Jack?”
I fought to keep from laughing aloud when Timmy unstressed all of my tension, exploding in hysterical chuckles – I joined in and we both had a great time.

The following Morning I went to check my mail and noticed Roxanne’s car was gone. The gas grill outside her apartment door also went missing. A neighbor told me they moved just before sunrise because I didn’t want her and her son. Of course my neighbor, a silver haired eighty-six year old retired sex therapist looked at me and said, “Men, you’re all just alike.”

Bobby Revell

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