Janice from This is a Miracle Tagged me on 10 Things that happened to me: link to post

This will be extremely embarrassing as I will reveal things most people would never tell anyone.

1. I was the manager of a health food store in an outlet mall. The manager from the store next to me was a very pretty girl who always came to talk to me. We ended up going out one night after work. We ate at Burger King (bleechhhh) to start our romantic interlude. After enjoying our conveyor belt steamed, machine fabricated meat patties on a bun they call hamburgers, we parked under the dim streetlight outside the closed mall (oh yeah). We fogged the windows in a scorching display that would have made my family break out their camcorders. We took a break and the light hit her face at the perfect angle to reveal a most ghastly surprise. Three very long whiskers grew from under her chin almost touching her neck. I thought hard and finally decided to say something rather then leaving with no explanation. I asked her if she knew about these three long chin hairs. She asked me if I wanted to play with them. I said, I have to go home and shave immediately. She started dating a 7′ tall albino guy who wore an Elton John t-shirt the very next day.

2. I was suspended from highschool the maximum of 27 days per semester for 3 years straight and had Saturday detention every Saturday all 3 years.

3. I helped a friend and his uncle do some work one day and made several trips in my truck with two of his cousins. The sun was setting so we called it a day. I live two miles away and while driving home a cop pulled me over. I asked why he stopped me and he said that I put my seatbelt on as I was being stopped trying to hide my crime. He asked me to step out the truck and searched me. Three cop cars pulled up and they foot-cuffed me. He walked to the passengers side door, reached under the seat and pulled out a cigarette pack. In it was a small amount of marijuana, a xanax, and a gram of methamphetamine. I was white as a ghost. They took me to the hospital for a blood test which was of course negative. I took urine tests twice a week for a while and went to court – the xanax and pot charges were dropped. It may be a few more years before I go to court for the meth. At worst I’ll have a big fine. Needless to say, I don’t talk to my friend anymore. Luckily, I have never been arrested for anything and my lawyer said 99% chance they’ll reduce it to a non-felony charge thank God. Weeks later my friend was arrested and is still in jail. Now, I ask people before they get in my vehicle to make sure they don’t have anything on them. I had no idea my friend did all these drugs, but now I know that you don’t have to look like a drug addict to be one.

4. I spent three weeks hand making a friend a custom shop bass guitar. It was absolutely immaculate. Black-cherry lacquered flamed maple finished, it was striking. One of my best builds ever. Three days after I gave it to my friend who was in tears from the gift, the bass was stolen by his roommate never to be seen again. Ouch.

5. I caught my grandmother covered in toothpaste one day. She said. “I’m so sorry Bobby, I squeezed it all out by accident – but don’t worry, I pushed and rubbed most of it back in the tube.” Her hands sheathed in what looked like melted plastic white gloves. I thanked her and gave her a hug.

6.I once got kicked in the groin so hard it ruptured one of my testicles. I did however, win the fight.

7.I have had all my toes broken at least 10-15 times kickboxing. I have had my nose broken 5 times. I’d do it all again:)

8. A girlfriend from while back came over and while looking in a cabinet, a giant tree roach jumped from a shelf onto her face. Our date was ruined. I never saw another roach in that house, only that one.

9. My grandmother, old and confused accused me of having a crying baby under my bed. I told her to slide a bowl of water under it if I came home late. I took care of her her three last years.

10. One Christmas my grandmother opened the present I gave her before my entire family. It was watermelon flavour, lickable liquid body candy. To this day, I have no idea where it came from :smile:

I haven’t picked my tagged people yet, I had to release this first as I am tired. If you want me to tag you I will. I’ll add my 5 picks tomorrow :smile: