Blogging Without an Ego
Do you blog with an ego? Do you think of other human beings as being less or more important than you? Would you like to gain website popularity while retaining blogging ethics and personal integrity? Blogging integrity and ego are important concepts to me. I have very strong views on the concept of the ego and I want to share it with my beloved readers.
I am fortunate to have studied martial arts with some incredible teachers throughout my life and I have a very “samurai” view of ego. Basically, I had the ego beaten out of me. That is something I will always be thankful for. In my humble opinion, there is no place for ego in blogging, at least not in my blog. To have a powerful sense of integrity burned into the heart of every word you write, the ego must be destroyed. It must be eliminated, crushed with a violent killing blow.
In a real martial art (meaning an art for self-preservation in which the only possible outcome is life or death) the first step to learning anything is to get rid of your ego. It clouds the clarity of truth in combat and most certainly in everyday life.
There is an extremely fine line between being confident and being egotistical. It takes a lot of experience and wisdom to know the difference between the two. I remember when I received my first black belt from Dr.Donald Green, my psychology teacher in junior college. The one thing anyone who has ever received ranking from this incredible teacher was without, was ego. He was so good, he could just hold his arm out and somehow, you would punch his fist with your face! He did this while looking in the opposite direction as if by accident. At the time, he had a phD in both psychology and sociology and taught me the value of being a compassionate person above all other ideals in the martial arts.
You cannot have a sense of true integrity if you have an ego, and who wants to read a blog with a condescending, egotistical attitude? I’ve learned a lot this week about myself and the way I see integrity in blogging. This is just a little food for thought and I’d like each of you to think about the integrity in the blog you write. Let me know what you think about this very important and sometimes sensitive subject. You, my readers, are the reason I blog. As always, if you leave a comment, I will answer every single one of them!
I give so many links out to my female readers (hi ladies, I love you all), I want to make light of a male blogger who captures the essence of what I’m talking about perfectly.
My friend Seiche wrote a beautiful piece entitled Natural Sense of Wonder about his daughter. This was one of the most beautiful posts I have ever read. If you are familiar with Seiche, you know he is a martial artist and writes a lot about Brazilian Jiu- Jitsu. To see someone who is an obviously hardened warrior, write such a tender piece about his daughter, is just beautiful. Do yourself a big favor and go read this post!
I’ll have some special links for lots of folks coming up very soon, so stay tuned!
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Thanks so much for the Link Love, Bobby!
And I couldnt agree with you more about ego and the Martial Arts… oh, and the blogging thing as well! In my boxing days, I was always two steps over the line between confident and egotistical, always on the side of ego. The problem was that I had the skill set to back it up, and boxing’s mindset is stuck in ego, it makes for more PPV buys. Looking back, I’m glad things worked out the way they did and I moved on to Muay Thai and BJJ. There is nothing more humbling than having your tendons stretched by a woman who weighs half as much as you do and is nowhere near as strong. It wasnt until I moved out of my own ego on the mat that I saw the singular truth inherent in combat sports. I’ve never been able to find it any other place.
And I’ve been meaning to say this for awhile, but I’m glad this new direction your taking with your blog has kept every ounce of heart and integrity along with it.
Seiche: That’s so true in boxing! I thought of how much I loved Mike Tyson when he first became champion. He was so polite and ego free under the guidance of Cus D’Amato (who trained Floyd Patterson, one of my favourite boxers). When Cus died, Mike fell apart and has since become painful for me to watch. When he was more ego-free at the start, he was incredible and a true warrior. It’s weird how he gained an ego later on! You are welcome for the link, that post was fantastic.
Thanks for the compliment on my direction. It is difficult to combine so many elements and have the feeling of a precise direction. I am getting better at it and as time goes on I will define my blog just like I dream of. A blog that all bloggers can get something from, all the while, making a central theme of human value and integrity shine
This is really a great post Bobby! One of the hardest things for my classmates in the martial arts to comprehend (and uphold) was that egos had no place or benefit.
Too many of them had seen movies, and wanted to use their skills for the wrong reasons - For popularity, for power, for ego. But, as anyone who “truly” studies the arts knows, that’s not what they’re meant for.
I think it’s a good thing that you pointed it out and correlated it to blogging. I definitely see a strong parallel between the two.
Shine on,
Aaron
Aaron: I had a feeling you had studied martial arts somewhere down the line. I think understanding the real philosophies of the arts makes you a better person in so many ways. The most incredible martial artists I’ve met throughout my life have always been some of the nicest and most noble people.
I can’t help but have my approach to blogging be influenced by these ideas and without them, I don’t know where I’d be right now. Thanks Aaron
Hi Bobby….Interesting post. I am s- l -o -w- l -y learning about the way my ego at times infects parts of my life. I used to confuse my ego with having self-confidence and a strong sense of self…only to discover later in time that these two things often are the result of NOT being consumed the ego….I hope that one day I can say I’m ego-less, but I guess as with all things in life….it’s a process
Morgan: First, I want to say that the comment you left me about changing my perception of loneliness really helped me a lot. It was very insightful and made me look at things in a different light. Thank you so much!
I can’t say I’m ego-less 100% of the time, but I am aware of my intentions and thoughts at all times. If I allow myself to have an ego, I’ll quickly reflect and learn a new lesson. Self-confidence is power, and it is very important to have for our well being. If it does cross the line into becoming ego, you’ll see it more clearly at a later time. It is a process, and the process is living.
Thanks Morgan, you really are Mighty
Dare I claim to be one of the lovely ladies ur saying hello to? Morning Bobby!
Mariuca: But of course you are! Good Morning to you! Make sure you go read Seiche’s post, I think you would really like it
Great post Bobby! It takes a man, a true individual with integrity, to admit one’s shortcomings. Much less to blog about it to the world.No need to reply to comment, just wanna tell you, you da man!
Rolando: No need to reply? C’mon, you know I have to! Thanks my friend
“The most incredible martial artists I?ve met throughout my life have always been some of the nicest and most noble people.”
Hi Bobby!
I really enjoy the good posts in your blog! Indeed there is a very fine line between being confident and being egoistic.
In all areas of life, the moment that ego comes into the picture, it serves as a magnet a attract a host of many problems.
This applies to blogging as well. If one blogs with an I-know-it-all-and-I-am-here-to-teach-you outlook, … these are blogs that I would pull brakes before entering. Whereas, blogs with that personal touch where one can somehow feel the genuine intention to share for the better of one another, such a a blog will keep me visiting. And a good example of such is blog? Yours of course!!
Cheers Bobby!
WaterLearner: Karen, I really enjoy it when you come by, I happen to think very highly of you. The biggest problem I have in blogging is finding the time to visit everyone! There are a lot of great people here and I feel guilty not being able to get to them alll on a daily basis
Hey Bobby, a very insightful and wonderful post as usual. I was redoing my blogroll and I was upset to find your link had disappeared from it. I wanted you to know I didn’t know it as gone and didn’t remove it. I also wanted to thank you for the amazing comment you left on one of my recent posts. I was really touched by your words and they blew me away. You are my forever friend too. And of course when i think of you, I will always think of roses.
Polliwog: I am speechless Paula:) That is just beautiful! That post of yours really touched me and I wanted to give you a really big hug. I think the world of you and want you to be happy! I also think of roses every time I think of you too
I’ll have to think about that - ego, self esteem and self love seem to me now to be important. It wasn’t always so - just something I am coming to understand as I grow older.
Loz: Self esteem and love have become very important to me, especially here lately. I do have a very Asian view of ego however. In the west, we are accustomed to ego. If I go to a football game to watch the New Orleans Saints, my ego will flare up. If they lose, my ego is a little bruised. I see this type of ego as being different than the ego I refer to in my post.
Of course, there are not different egos. There is a time and place for ego and I have come to this realization. When dealing with people in an area such as blogging where the minds of the intellectual meet as brothers and sisters from across the globe, the ego should be kept in check. It is a very sensitive subject indeed
Hi Bobby!
Great post! Blogging with ego will bring you nowhere.
If someone who is professional in martial arts can let out his soft spot, why should we who have little or no skills in martial arts even bother to let out our ego?
Excellent job Bobby!
Nafa: That’s right! We are here to be friends and to share our love for each other and humanity as a whole (that’s why I’m here). I have had only one bad experience blogging and some of you know who that was with. I think the fact we are all friends from everywhere is so incredible, I get teary eyed just thinking about it
Insecurity is the cause of being egotistical. Once people learn that their imperfections are what make them “perfect”, it will be a beautiful world.
Love the post.
Brown Baron: Yes, I agree. We all really want security in our lives. We want and need security from the time we are babies. You always seem to write comments which in my opinion are, perfect. Thank you
Oops, looks like the rest of my comment got cut off. Anyway, you’re entirely right about “ego” Bobby. If believed in, it can easily be one’s major downfall.
As for the martial arts styles I’ve studied, they are: Tae Kwon Do, Kung Fu, Hapkido, Karate, Ju Jitso, Judo, and Tang Soo Do. And I love ‘em all!
Shine on,
Aaron
Aaron: When I meet people who are so full of themselves, it makes me want to walk away. Many people will act one way, but get them in another situation, their egos rum wild. I strive to be the same in every situation. It helps me think clearly and keep things in perspective
“You cannot have a sense of true integrity if you have an ego, and who wants to read a blog with a condescending, egotistical attitude?”
That’s an awesome piece of insightful viewpoint. I appreciate your sense of following the right path in life and even in blogging.
Hi, I havent been able to comment until now due to an isp glitch which cannot load wordpress blogs, but I have been reading and enjoying your blogging as always, including your last post.I feel the same about ego’s in the blogosphere.That is something that could get in the way of any blogger, as their opinion of themselves swell to gigantic proportions.When that happens, they may begin to lost touch with the ones who read their rambles, the bloggers who comment and show love and support.I try to face everyone with honesty and integrity, as if I were talking to them in person.I have found that by being humble and aware of my smallness in the Sphere, I need never fear an over enlarged ego!
Bobby, its cool to read about your martial art memories.Seems you learnt so many amazing life lessons and thats a really awesome thing! I shall give Seiche’s blog a visit, he sounds like someone I would love to read all about!
Hi Jesse: I think very highly of you and your blog; I know I’ll never see an inflated ego from you. Yes, you must go read Seiche, I know you will adore his work!!!!!
Thanks Jesse 
I love you too Bobby! Wow, what a great post!
Bobby is MIA!
Hi bobby,
Being sometimes who had taken martial art before, I know the feeling.
Sometime I really do wonder if the ego itself as part of the training. It certainly was overrated. I once beat a contestant 2 belt higher than me just by playing on his ego. I kept my calm, he became angrier. Stupid right. You just need to know how to play them, that’s all. The same can be said about blogging too. Kudos for this article.
Take care my friend
Emila: Awwww! You made my day Emila! You are so sweet
Mariuca: I’m right here honey pie! I’d never leave you and my friends
Joezul: You have a tremendous amount of insight into so many things! Any man who can write beautiful, tender poetry cannot do so with ego. I consider you a true artist in every sense of the word
bobby… i am once again reminded why i originally started reading this blog .. your writing is wonderful… i love it when the words just seem to pour from your soul…. thank you for this…..
Paisley: Thank you so much! I will be by today
I never make it to your blog enough, you always have such helpful and interesting information. I admire the way you lend a hand to new bloggers, and you have the insite to what makes for a successful page. Thanks
Eric: Thanks! I must admit, it’s the only thing I know how to do
hi bobby wow great work on here your blog looks so good and the contents too i like it ….keep it up my frined and have a good day
Blessings
LFXT: Thanks Lili! I’ll try to come by more often
I’ve been so busy lately & hardly have time to visit all my friends & read all the posts. Just to let you know that you are still in my thoughts even if I din visit you :):):)
Janice Ng
Janice: No worries, you take care of yourself and family! No need to explain a thing to me. I’ll be here for you always
Thanks for your kind words, Bobby…Hope your day is awesome indeed !
Jesse: Thank you! My day is always awesome when you come visit
great post, Bobby! wow, i never know that u’ve learned martial arts before. Now, i know.
You always write with such wisdom. You hv my respect, BIG GUY! I love you too!
Jean: You are a delight every time you come here! How absolutely sweet your comment is! I am jello now
So true. Reading down to earth bloggers is so much worthwhile than someone who is caught up in themself.
Sassy: That’s right Sassy! This is one of those sensitive areas of blogging I find to be extremely interesting. My blog is what is termed by some as a meta-blog (having multiple purpose and trying to do many things). I am finding that there are many very down to earth money-bloggers, which has always been a sore spot with me
Bobby, I stumbled this article because I think lots of people should read it. Thanks for sharing your point of view.
viv2007
Viv: Thank you soooo much! I appreciate it more than you could ever know!
Bobby-Hey there friend! Thanks for the kind words on my site! I appreciate it! I was not worried, I just figured you were busy! I know how that goes! Great post! I hope I don’t sound too condescending in my posts! I certainly don’t try to. I think you have done a wonderful job of blogging without ego. You seem very down to earth and sure of who you are! I hope this finds you well my friend! Take care!
Barrett Laurie: I think of you as being one of the nicest guys in blogging. You don’t have a thing to worry about. I just have to make sure I get by your great site much more often
Tremendous post. My thoughts on the matter are this. I think in life peacefulness and happiness are key. Having an ego definitely disrupts this delicate balance.
If you can be humble, peaceful and w/o an ego, I think you’re able to see things clearly and for what they are - even if it may take some time to get to the truth.
Bush Mackel: How very philosophical of you! I agree 100%. You cannot have clarity in your thoughts with an ego leading the way. What an insightful comment. Thank you