Revellian

Thoughts and Fiction of Bobby Revell

Archive for November, 2007

Makiwara Compassion

Nov 30

Posted by Bobby Revell in life personal

Thanks to Lorelle and Jonathan

Before I get into this post I want to thank Lorelle and Jonathan Bailey for giving me some very wise advice for dealing with content theft. Jonathan’s site is plagiarismtoday.com which really gets to the truth in this area. Like he told me, simply reporting an infraction to Google is a waste of time. It seems that the big G is protecting the thieves. If anyone deserves blame, it is them. If you want to learn how to protect your site, go check out both of these sites and read all of the posts.

Beautiful Morning

It’s beautiful today, a nice cool temperature with some sweet sunshine. I enjoyed my morning tea on the front porch before my workout. Many thoughts swim through my mind constantly, so many of them grow by themselves and I simply nurture those which are healthy for me.

I go through endless ideas for my blog, but so many seem stale and old. Should I write about how to make money, how blogging is helping unite the world, how my life is going or some new technical advancement? Should I write a meme or go read 100 posts of friends? Nothing seems to catch my interest today.

I think of expanding, blasting through all limitations in life. I think of my entire life in a microcosm of swirling layers of conscious and unconscious thought. Life is not just short, it is beyond the comprehension of small when compared to the vast expanse of this constantly expanding universe.

I’m writing musical melodies, weaving them in and out of different harmonic textures and rhythms in my mind; I do this endlessly as music is natural for me. I also write pieces and parts of poetry, constructing thematic motifs for my blog. I do all of this while I workout on my heavy bag. I usually do 1000 kicks on the bag every other day.

I also do 3-5 two minute rounds of all out fighting on the bag with both hands and feet. This of course is in addition to sparring all out with other people twice a week. I have spent my entire life expressing myself in martial arts and Zen. It’s difficult to find people to practice with these days. I have had 17 different instructors this year alone.

I have always loved the spiritual and philosophical aspect of martial arts training even more than the physical. It seems the more I learn and better I get, the more compassionate I become as a human being. To harden my spirit and become an absolute weapon, has actually made me care even more about life and people.

I have trained for years in the old world art of Tameshiwara. This involves breaking boards, bricks and stones with parts of my body. I often wondered how learning to destroy something with my hands could, in essence, help me to love and appreciate life even more. I think of how important it is to have things in your life that are worth dying for.

Without anything worth dying for in our lives, how can we have anything worth living for? Such thoughts of depth often help me to put things in perspective. In order to break stones with your fists, you must condition your body parts properly. I hit a old style, traditional makiwara board to get the conditioning. This is to me, about as personal as it gets. Here are some pictures of my makiwara, it is 14 years old.

Sorry about the terrible quality but they were taken with my super cheap webcam. I have never shown this to anyone before. I just want to show some of the extreme training methods I use. Yes, the stains are blood. Bruce Lee said, “Boards don’t hit back.”

Bruce’s words ring true, but hands of stone certainly give you the ability to hit anything without feeling any pain whatsoever. One thing about training this way is you get all the stress out of your system! My hands haven’t bled in several years and I have never suffered any kind of problem at all.

I attribute my health to the study of yoga and healthy exercise. Because I had nothing to write, I decided to share a little peek into my personal life. I must admit, it does feel good to share this with the world. I don’t know why. I just keep so many things so secret. I have this traditional martial arts code of secrecy ingrained into my being.

I am letting go of tradition in many respects so I can grow and explore life more deeply. Life is about growing and expanding. I am taking many more chances than ever before. I am actually taking a huge chance on something or maybe someone! I cannot reveal any details at this time but let’s say that I have met someone very special! Ha ha…you’ll just be left in the dark for now :mrgreen:

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A Gift To Content Thieves

Nov 28

Posted by Bobby Revell in blogging ethics

Content theft is out of control in the blogosphere and I want to give these sites some attention. To learn more and pick up some great tips go read:

How To Stop Content Theft: The Best Practices

In honor of these criminals, I have started a new site that presents them in all their glory. They deserve a few links. My new site gives them that and more. I am asking you to go read it. Most of the sites are running Adsense ads, so just go to Googles Adsense page and file a complaint. The link above supplies all the info you need to help take these sites down.

My new site is…drumroll please:

Scumbag Idiot Loser Blogs.blogspot.com

The above site was deleted, as I took the advice from someone who knows more about it than I. Keep reading!

tombstone.jpg

Leave comments on that site of any scrapers, spammers, sploggers and scumbags that need to be destroyed. It is my goal to list them all. If enough people fight…we can tear the throat out of these fools and watch them die! Yay!!!!!! Please help me get the ball of scum rolling…right down the drain so we can flush the toilet.

I am risking my own neck to do this but I love to fight. Lets take a pair of pliers and a blowtorch to these thieves! Lets GET MEDIEVAL on these loser morons!!!!!!!

Do not leave any comments here containing links to the evil sites, leave links on Scumbag Idiot Loser Blogs.blogspot.com!

What do you think? I learned in martial arts that the best defense is a good offense. You want to hit them first! Hit them, hit them hard and don’t stop until they cannot go on. I need your help. Lets annihilate some content thieves NOW!!!!!

Heres a link for you: How To Report Adsense Policy Violations

After a site has been officially taken down…we will throw a party on their tombstones!!!!! Lets give all of them a much deserved burial. The tombstones will be customized for each executed site!!!!!!!

UPDATE�

Because of the advice from Lorelle, I have taken down my site. Instead, I will be compiling a list of these sites. If you would like to add a violator please e-mail me. My address is at the top of my site in contacts. I will be happy to send you a list if you want to help report these sites. Lorelle is right, by linking in any way, I will be helping, not hurting them.

It was fun for a minute!!!! Please just send me an e-mail and together we can build a list. It only takes a minute to report a site and if you have had your content stolen, please help out. I’m not going to go crazy doing this, but I will report those who steal my content. More reports will increase the probability to get something done.

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31 Comments

Simplistic Nutrition For a Healthy Life

Nov 27

Posted by Bobby Revell in Nutrition - Health, life personal

Living healthy is always much easier to talk about than to actually accomplish. I haven’t shared this aspect of my life here on this blog. Since I have gone through so many changes here lately, now is the time!

I have had a life time fascination with nutrition from majoring in biochemistry/food nutrition in college, to yoga, martial arts to managing a health food store – I have spent much time on this subject. I have done my share of unhealthy things but have reached a point in my life where I cannot put pollutants in my body.

Vitamins and Minerals

Do you need to take vitamin and mineral supplements? I believe it’s a good idea to take a multi-vitamin everyday. Make sure the vitamin passes a standard dissolution test. This is simply to assure that it actually dissolves in the digestive tract. It should say on the bottle that it does! Many popular supplements pass through the system giving you expensive urine!

I personally take 1000 mg of Ester-C (in my opinion is the best form of vitamin C) every day. I also take a beta-carotene supplement (the precursor of vitamin A). Vitamin A is not water soluble and can be poisonous! Beta-carotene is converted into vitamin A as needed. Finally I take an oil based vitamin E gelcap. I take all of these with a meal for maximum absorption.

Anti-oxidants

The above supplements pretty much have it covered. I recommend not to go herb and vitamin crazy as many people do. Lots of fads come and go while many advertisers of course, try to capitalize on you by selling you tons of unnecessary and sometimes detrimental supplements! You don’t need to waste your money on all that junk.

Aside from beta-carotene, vitamin-E and vitamin-C, the following are my personal loves for healthy living!

Green Tea

green-tea-plantation.jpg

Ah yes! In my opinion, after a lifetime of studies, nothing is healthier than delicious green tea! It is ultra rich in natural anti-oxidants. They mostly consist of polyphenols and catechin (which has powerful anti-cancer benefits).

Green Tea is by far my number one, daily beverage. I love it hot or cold and never does a day go by that I don’t have some. Americans drink brown tea (fermented tea) which is healthy but no where close to green tea. While I could write all day about the benefits (antibacterial, antiviral, anti-cancer) I prefer a simple approach.

If you tend to drink brown tea which is heavily sweetened, take it upon yourself to switch. Once you get used to drinking green tea, you will acquire a taste for it. I never add sweetener or lemon. I have learned to enjoy the natural aroma and delicious quality in it’s most natural state.

If there is only one thing you ever do in your life for health, green tea is by far my #1 choice. It’s anti-oxidants are hundreds of times more powerful than both vitamin-C or E. When you’re sick or taking antibiotics, green tea can compliment the effects and make it even more effective.

Compared side by side with orange juice, green tea is by far the better choice. That is not my opinion, it is a fact. I love it so much, I drink it several times per day and could never say enough about it! In America, you can buy it in any grocery store.

If you’re wondering how a popular brand like Lipton Green Tea compares to imported brands, it is fine. Lipton makes a very high quality product which is just as good as any from a health food store usually sold at a much higher price. If you are from Asia…well, you guys have it made. Green tea is the most popular beverage in most Asian countries and Americans should start drinking it every day, if they aren’t already!

Sugar

Most of us love sugar and candy, but it is not good for you. I highly recommend against consuming sugar in large quantities. Sugar is bad for you. It rots your teeth and causes more health problems than any other single product on Earth. Alcohol is bad, but sugar in many respects, is worse!

Advertisers love to sell sugar and people love to eat it. Remember, no matter what you think, sugar is by far the worse thing you can eat next to saturated fat.

What happens to excess sugar in your body? It is converted into fat in the liver through a process called lipogenesis. Then, it is stored on your body as fat! Eating fat doesn’t make you fat, eating excess sugar is what makes you gain excess fat in most cases. Genetics play a large role in stored body fat. No matter your case, eliminate sugar (especially in soft drinks) from your diet.

Fat

Fats and oils are not bad for you. Just certain kinds are bad. You have probably heard of HDL (high density lipoproteins) and LDL (low density lipoproteins). Just remember high is good, low is bad! Milk fat(drink skim milk or low fat) and red meat are loaded with LDL or trans-fatty acids which clog your arteries. Cold water fish and fresh nuts are loaded with HDL, which actually remove cholesterol from your body.

I don’t eat much red meat and I don’t eat pork of any kind. According to cannibals, pork tastes exactly like human! That’s why I don’t like pork…yeeeeech. I mostly eat poultry and fish (fish is my favourite meat). Vegetarians have to be careful of protein deficiency by eating legumes or taking a protein supplement.

Olive oil is really good for you. It is loaded with mono-unsaturated fat and nice big amounts of oleic acid which is very good for you.Try to get extra virgin, cold pressed olive oil and consume it every day.

My all time favourite fat is flax seed oil. It is the most beneficial of all oils in the human diet. To keep it simple, just remember that flax seed oil has all the good fat you will need in one source. Loaded with linolenic acid (which is found in mother’s milk), flax oil is my #1 pick for an oil supplement. It should be cold pressed. It is stored cold in the store. I take a tablespoon full with every meal.

A Balanced diet

What does that mean, a balanced diet? I would say from a nutritionist standpoint, it means that meals should be balanced with proteins, carbohydrates and fats. With diabetes being so prevelant, it is important to eat meals balanced this way.

Here’s a real world example you can understand. If you eat a baked potato, an hour or so later, your blood sugar will spike. During this time, the excess sugar is converted into fat as I discussed earlier. To prevent this, the potato should be eaten with both protein and fat!

This slows down the digestion of the starches (sugars) and causes the blood sugar to stay even! This is my #1 health tip of all when it comes to blood sugar control. This is necessary for diabetics and will help those of you who don’t have diabetes from ever getting it. This is where our good friend flax seed oil can help. Taking a tablespoonful of flax oil with every meal is very good at evening out blood sugar which is great for your health.

It may sound crazy, but if you are trying to lose weight, adding flax oil can help you out immensely. Adding fat to your diet can actually help you lose weight! Read up on how diabetic patients should eat and you will find the BEST way to lose weight. I cannot say enough about how important it is to keep and maintain blood sugar levels.

Fresh whole foods and diets

No matter what I say about supplements, nothing is more important than eating fresh, whole foods in their natural form. Fresh vegetables and fruits should be a part of everyone’s diet. The world we live in isn’t perfect and many fresh veggies don’t have all the nutrients they should because of poor farming methods depleting many minerals from the soil.

Many of you have developed a fast life style on the run, and eating whole, natural foods is next to impossible. We get lazy and who wants to cook a super nutritious meal 3 times a day? All I’m asking is that you take some time to consider your health. It is what will keep you here to enjoy your life!

It’s really not that hard to eat at least one healthy meal per day. It just takes practice and developing a habit.

I only have one thing to say about diets. I call it the “D” word. The fact is, if you go on a diet, you’ll go off of the diet. It is better to adopt solid nutrition habits that you employ everyday as part of your life. Don’t over do it and try to make drastic changes overnight.

Keep it simple! I hope this little post is helpful to some of you. Though I am pretty much a health food junkie, I rarely discuss it. I was trying to think of a interesting post that I could write quickly off the top of my head (my favourite way to write) and boom! Here you have it!

Coming up, I’ll be writing much more on this fascinating subject! I’ll be featuring links and other sources to help get you interested in health and well being. I feel great today and this is the most positive thing I’ve written in a while. ENJOY :mrgreen:

The beautiful photo of a Green Tea Plantation is from Marmot.blogs.com

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Psychedelic Psychoses

Nov 24

Posted by Bobby Revell in short-story

I have written some expressively negative elements into this blog lately and sometimes I wish I hadn’t. The world is never going to be perfect and I am fine with that. I’d like like mountains to be made of candy and little fluffy kitty cats nestled around everyone’s necks.

Outdoor air conditioning all summer to keep Santa cool as he delivers everyone presents every Saturday, all year long…sounds good? My next door neighbor said he could give me a special type of lobotomy in his garage that could achieve those results.

No…no more home surgery for me. After I messed up removing my own appendix in 1997, I cannot go that route. Of course I’m kidding, but the following story is true. I must share it with you.

Psychedelic Psychoses

I went to hang out with some friends one summer in high school, just to have fun and do what kids do. They made a big batch of jungle juice (punch mixed with lots of 190 proof grain alcohol) so us kids could get drunk and get a head start on pickling our livers.

I arrived late and most everyone was intoxicated, so being eager to get a buzz on, I had a few large glasses of the cloudy reddish fluid. I began feeling weird and hearing voices like people were breathing directly in my ears. I couldn’t seem to shake the unusual feeling.

I became overtaken with wild sensations of temperature flashes crawling throughout my body. My left hand was hot, but my right hand was ice cold! Everything before my eyes was distorted slightly. It seemed like dense sheets of clear, red plastic were wrapped around my head, making everything take on a crimson luminescence.

I walked over to a group of my friends and one of them was complaining of something similar. The sound of voices sounded like they traveled through long tubes, some like old radios. This older guy who looked like a hippie in his 40’s wearing a kaleidoscopic bandanna was talking about something that had everyone’s attention.

I stood in front of someones beautiful candy-apple red Corvette, my head swimming, my mouth parched dry. My vision became a narrow circle, getting smaller and smaller until it disappeared.

I awakened, lying in the ground. My shirt was covered in punch I had thrown up. Then the hippie said, “You guys might have picked the wrong ones. If you did, it would be a poisonous type that looks just like the right ones. Look at him, he’ll be dead in about 10 minutes, after the neurotoxins take hold of his involuntary muscle tissue. I’ve seen it happen many times. He is better off dead, after crushing the hood of that corvette, somebody is gonna be pissed!”

He was talking about me. “Picked what? What are you talking about?” I asked.

“Psychedelic mushrooms. Psilocybin. They got the wrong ones though. They picked baby shrooms and I told them to only get adults so we could identify them correctly. I’d be saying my last prayers if I were you.”

I was only 15 years old and scared out of my mind. The car I had fallen on had a crushed hood, as if someone took a sledgehammer to it. I began running and soon arrived at the edge of a highway. Cars were speeding back and forth and I was so disoriented I could not judge when to cross it to get to the store, which was just a short distance away.

I awakened again after apparently passing out a second time. I looked at the clear, black, midnight sky filled with fluffy white clouds. There were faces carved into them. Real, living faces looking directly into my eyes. Some smiled, some gave me expressive acknowledgments. I stared for what seemed several hours, drifting off to sleep.

I suddenly jumped onto my feet and somehow, I had crossed the highway but couldn’t remember doing it. I knew I had narrowly escaped being hit by a car. Scared out of my mind, fearing I would soon be dead, I was relieved to see my friends standing next to a paramedic. I ran towards them calling out their names. I got closer and said, “Hey Kirby…it’s me Bobby…I need help!”

A man grabbed his child to protect her and told his wife to get in the car. He said, ” There is no Kirby here, please don’t hurt my child.”

I realized I didn’t know anyone there and the ambulance was really an old white van. I was freaking out, covered in mud from head to toe, noticing I was naked – carrying a gun in my hand. I saw a bathroom door and ran inside, locking the door.

I looked in the mirror and saw a jagged, black and red face with it’s eyes cut out looking back. Smaller faces like I saw in the clouds were engraved in my skull gazing into me, speaking in unknown languages. Someone began beating on the door calling out my name. I was crying, trying to keep my sanity.

I looked up and my friends were standing around me asking me if I was alright. I was coherent enough to understand where I was for the first time in what seemed like days. I was on my back, lying on the hood of my own car.

They told me I had passed out and that someone had spiked the punch with a gallon of prepared, hallucinogenic mushroom tea. I asked how long I had been out for. I was astounded to find out it was only for around 15 seconds!!!!!

Around 5 hours later I was back to normal and drove home. We never found out who put the mushroom juice in the punch and to this day, many people believe I am the culprit.

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32 Comments

Dread’s Duet – My Real Tale of Horror

Nov 22

Posted by Bobby Revell in horror, life personal, poetry

Death’s Beauty

Dreaded outcomes
despised harvest
ending up like that
the lonely one

becoming my nightmare
without a fight
numb as a dead body
cold reality buried

expression, my only gift
earned in blood
descriptions egressing
from sores of pain
cold fingers of misery
coaxing every drop

Beautiful deaths shimmer
as distant liquid flames
breezes scented
flavours sweetened

endless finalities
final breaths forever
the last goodbye
a reflection of always

Deaths hand as limp carcasses
draping sickly
like wet rags of sorrow
my dead sun defecating it’s rays
on my garden of shivering dread
death too soon in my prime
leaving the needy behind

I am my own composition
my every component
I design every structure

I own every reflection
I burn every shadow
I voice every echo
design every thought
every action
craft every dream
mold every desire

I live beneath the trench of my soul
I am the plague which destroys my infection
my dreams melt from blackened clouds
then fall as scarlet rain

Warning! screams explode
open not your eyes
don’t look behind you!
I fall to my knees crying
forever alone, a stain on searing love

dust of my memories inhaled
choking those who listen
a thousand eyes upon me
as I melt into the forgotten

 

Tomb of Sleep

Almost, I can taste it’s scent
barely, my reflection still hidden
from the other side
breath steam
on the tips of my fingers

Reverse negative
my antagonist of opposition
my brother of contrast
being as both halves
human inversion
my contradiction

Electric ice flames of totality
never burn
but as transparent fires
with smokeless embers
standing still with time
side by side
ignited in winter’s furnace

Dying death’s death
my violent convulsion
my finality
death’s last shiver

Thoughtless minds of cold dead
dry thickly as arid slabs
packed into the grave of charred skulls
behind the masks of paralyzed faces
chloroformed into a coma of living
living as programmed
to stay out of the way
to die in what were told
life is. . .

A note to readers:
I wrote this when I was in a tomb of depression, burning in misery unable to get air into my imploded lungs. For four days of my darkest moments, I was unable to walk. I dreamed that someone was stabbing members of my family to death in another room. I was able to rise from the floor and ran to protect my family from harm and to unleash a wicked fury upon anyone who stood before me. Anyone there would suffer my personal judgment. I realized that the people I was trying to protect were already dead. All had died years ago, and for a moment in time, I believed they were still alive.

I fell to my knees…crying like a baby…knowing no matter how hard I tried, I could not bring them back. What a horrible delusion to have…a vile nightmare which made me so sick, I dry heaved for several hours.

In that dream, I had been enjoying happy, meaningful conversations and activities with my deceased father. It was so beautiful, so utterly wonderful, I didn’t want it to end. My father and I never actually had any of that. Perhaps it was wishful thinking. Perhaps it was my father reaching from death to tell me he loved me. Maybe it was pure insanity.

Whatever it was and however horrifying it was to realize he was dead for a second time, those moments were the most precious times I ever had with him…even though it was just a dream…I will cherish it forever because I needed it, I wanted it to be real.

I cannot protect him…he is gone. I wanted to, so badly, anyone trying to hurt him…well…by the time they realized what happened, they’d already be dead. At least I know, that no one will hurt another person before my eyes…not without dealing with me.

It has been said that violence is the supreme authority from which all authority is derived. I must disagree. Real authority is not backed by violence, it is backed by peace. The world we live in with it’s weak men using violence as an authority has got to stop.

Whether it is Osama or the USA killing people, it is the mark of cowardice and weakness. If I saw someone attacking my mother, or for that matter, a woman or child on the street – would I kill that person? Yes…I would. I would also spend the rest of my life in prison…or would I refrain from such an act?

All of this has me thinking…I would not kill them, if I could stop them without needing to. If they lie on the ground, disarmed…there would be no need to let a raging fulguration of anger stomp skull into mush. I could simply call the police after I subdued them.

I let go of much inner anger that day. For I am not a man of violence or evil. I am a man of peace and love. It just hurts to lose people. Losing my father and only having a few precious months of love between us as he was bed ridden, dying of cancer, was better than not having those moments at all.

In my dream, he was healthy. For some reason, I thought he was just sick. Everyone told me he was fine. I ran in the living room and hugged him. We grew a garden together and talked like real friends. When I realized, upon awakening, that he was dead…it hurt more than the first time I found out. What a nightmare.

If it weren’t for the love of the many people I have met blogging, I might not be here. Thank you everyone…my road to recovery is not going to be easy. The anti-depressant I am taking has made me feel really strange. I slept for about 36 hours and had no dreams I could remember. I feel pretty good other than that. Let’s hope for a little happiness around here :smile:
Thank you from the bottom of my heart :smile:

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43 Comments

Dedication – Two Lovely Ladies

Nov 20

Posted by Bobby Revell in blogging

Trinity

I am really late in the completion of my Blogging For Friendship project so I have decided to do it differently than originally planned. I will cover a few participants at a time so I can really give them some much deserved attention!

Starting in no particular order, I choose Trinity! Trinity is a relatively new friend of mine but I feel like I have known her for years. She writes a wonderful blog titled, Rooms of My Heart. It is both a personal and business blog that covers just about everything you could think of.

Her post was Thank You For Your Friendship, which was a delight to read and was written with a lot of love. Here’s a quote from her post:

There’s also a really special room for my friends, in real world as well as in blogsphere. God has given me so many special friends to make my world more beautiful and meaningful.

Trinity defines being a friend every day with all of her readers. If you want to make a great friend, go visit her and you will meet one of the most wonderful women in the blogosphere!

She created a wonderful badge in honour of her friends and I really loved it, check it out! Thanks Trinity :smile:

friendship.jpg

Bobo

Next, my very good friend Bobo really surprised me with her great posts, that’s right, two posts! Her Blog is BrainyBimbo and it is one I just can’t miss! She is a beautiful girl with a big heart who writes with a style unlike anyone. It’s funny, sad, exciting and everything in between.

Bobo has really become a great friend to me and she really cares about her readers. Her posts are, Part One and Bobo’s Contribution to the Blogging for Friendship Writing Project. Here’s a quote:

We prioritise differently, love different wonders and admire different people. We have different problems, think of different solutions and experience different backlashes.

We cook differently, eat different food and name the same dish differently. We sing different songs, tap to different tunes and play different instruments. We draw different things, paint with different colours and embrace different cultures.

We’re all different. Truly unique. and because of that…We’re one and the SAME.

Her post was very creative and sparkles with personality. I had really just met her shortly before the project began and I didn’t know if she would participate or not. She took it seriously and wrote two wonderful pieces which made my day :smile:

Thank you Bobo, you are a great friend!!!!

I’ll be dedicating posts to everyone who participated for 3-4 weeks. Friendship in the blogosphere is something we can never write enough about. We bloggers have taken the idea of on line friends to a level beyond what any of us could have dreamed.

We need each other and bloggers take friendship very seriously. I know firsthand how wonderful it is to have people that care from every place on Earth. Thanks to Trinity and Bobo for their dedication to nurturing meaningful relationships with everyone who comes their way. Please go visit these two beautiful, intelligent and caring ladies, please say hello. You’ll be glad you did :mrgreen:

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16 Comments

Blogger Buddies Are Awesome

Nov 18

Posted by Bobby Revell in blogging, life personal

Thank You

To each and every person who has come by and helped me through this month, Thank you. I really wanted to at least answer every comment on the previous two posts before writing another but I had to.

I have so many people to visit and thank personally, it may take a little while to get it done. Many people who have really helped a lot, are folks I don’t even know! It is unbelievable the amount of love in the blogosphere. I may not have replied to all of you yet but I have been reading all the comments. It has helped so much, I am without words.

Lessons From Experience

Every blog and author is unique and each have their own tempo and personality. This blog gets a ton of comments and many are long and detailed. I love long comments and I love replying to them. I have been increasing the amount of good friends I have for some time. As a result, I was blogging at the same pace as when I only had a dozen or so friends.

When you are dealing with that many people, it is impractical to visit all of them everyday or even every other day for that matter. That is one thing I struggle with. I think if I visit this person, all their visitors will know I was there and so I feel a need to make sure everyone is visited so everyone is getting the same attention.

I will no longer be doing that! I do suffer depression which I have come to realize is not something I can control all the time. I always thought I could and such is the reason I have never tried medications for my condition. I was sure I didn’t need to even consider them. I am trying some and I hope they help.

New Approaches

The way I have always dealt with depression isn’t working. For the last 3 months, I have felt great and positive. Then the depression took hold. It has disappeared just like it arrived, out of the blue. One day I am in a world of despair and the next I’m feeling normal. I am thankful that my readers understand. It’s been a life saver.

I feel fine now and will be pacing myself and not letting my blog become a source of stress. My blog is my retreat from stress, thus it will be much more relaxed. I am taking the wonderful advice of my readers. I will be by to visit you all.

An Idea

I think I need a reader management system. A program that lets me know who I visited and commented on and who I maybe neglecting. Wouldn’t that be a great thing to have? If you have a friend based blog, it is impossible to not let some people become visited less frequently. I like everyone so I really wish there was something that could help manage that.

I am back and will be visiting EVERYONE. All of you are amazing and friendly. I have some 30 new friends too. I can’t wait to get to know you all.

Here’s to you all with a lotta love,

Bobby

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46 Comments

Hello Friends

Nov 10

Posted by Bobby Revell in life personal

Today, my mother has received phone calls from people and was visited by the police department checking to see if I was alright. I might be a lot of things, but suicidal is not one of them. Please refrain from giving my mother the fright of her life from now on. I am not going to do anything that extreme.

I am just incredibly burned out and do not know if I will continue blogging, I have met a lot of great people here, and I very much appreciate the concern. Having the police visit my mother is not going to help anything.

I am sorry if I gave anyone the impression I was going to do something drastic, I am not. I am very depressed and I need time to get my head straight. Please understand that none of this has anything to do with any of you. I am trying to feel better, not worse. I’m sick, broken out in hives and the last thing I need is my mother, who is in very poor health, to be upset.

As much as I would like to write a post, I get sick just thinking about it. I am alive and plan to stay that way. I will hopefully feel better in a few weeks or so. I’m trying to keep myself from deleting my blog, so I will not regret that for the rest of my life.

I started this blog for one reason. That is to help all of us come together from all races from every country. I cannot take medication for my depression as I do not believe it will help. The times I took medicine, it made me feel worse. I am going for a long run here in a little while to get a good sweat and make myself feel better.

I am very sorry I upset anyone, It seems that I am good at that. I will refrain from that in the future. I need time to regroup. I am seriously in no harm and will be fine. Until that day comes, when I find my true love, I will not be happy. It means more to me than any of you could ever know that I actually do have friends.

In my real life, I have no friends to talk to or see. When I say that, I literally mean none, zero, zilch. There is no one. I have had to cut ties with everyone. My best friend from high-school, growing up was executed by the state of Alabama for murdering two police officers. My other friends are drug addicts. My good friend Erol, is serving a 65 year sentence for murder in the state of Minnesota.

The one girl I truly loved (the only girl I ever really loved) left me days before I was going to ask her to marry me. I still have not recovered.

There are are many other things going wrong right now, but are far to personal to discuss. I would do anything or go anywhere to find the love of my life. Many guys hit the clubs but I am not one of them.

This might sound wimpy or pathetic, but the only thing I have ever wanted in my life, is one woman to spend my life with. I don’t want to meet her in a bar. I need someone in my life and I want to be loved. Think what you want, but I am not afraid of this journey. It is my goal to find her.

I am having a hard time getting anything right in this life. I don’t know how much more personal I can be in revealing myself. I need time to regroup and get on with my search for love, which is the only thing that matters to me.

Each and everyone of you have been great to me. I just do not have enough hours in the day to visit you all everyday. I will be saying at my mother’s house until I feel well enough to go home. I do love all of you and please give me a little time to recover. To say that I feel sick is an understatement. I feel drained spiritually and emotionally.

I will try to return. I just put so much pressure on myself to visit, read and comment on hundreds of blogs per day. I cannot do that anymore. I am doing the best I can. I will try to reply to all the comments I have received in the past few days, but I am in no hurry. I will get it done soon enough.

I didn’t realize how many people cared about me, but it is giving me some strength. I have never had a problem expressing myself, but I do have problems to conquer.

From the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU. I am going to make it one way or another. I need some time.

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