Dying From a Broken Heart
I remember how beautiful it was, when I first began blogging, how eager and innocent my attitude was. I remember how it felt to make new friends and how joyous it all seemed. I was in such a lonely situation, having the love of my life leave me when I was just about to ask her to marry me.
In many ways, blogging saved me. I had new friends that listened to what I had to say. People actually cared that my life had been nearly destroyed. Most of my family is gone an so are most of my friends. I have been burned to a crisp by love and risen from the ashes time and time again.
There must come a point when a person can no longer rise, shouldn’t there? I often wonder why I am still here. There must be a reason, yet in my heart, I feel empty. I feel cold and alone. I feel like I no longer want to be in this life.
When growing up, I thought I would graduate from college, meet the girl of my dreams and live happily ever after. It didn’t work that way for me and for those of you that are lucky enough to have that kind of life, do not ever forget how fortunate you are.
That wondrous feeling I once had for blogging, much like my dreams of love, have wilted like petals from a dying flower. I got all caught up in the technical aspect of blogging and it has completely destroyed my drive to even read a single post. It has become a passionless chore for me to get up and write.
Can someone die from a broken heart? I don’t know, but it must surely be better than living with one. Many of you might not understand how hard it is to wake up everyday alone and know that when you go to sleep, you will go to sleep alone. It’s a feeling that I can no longer bear.
I don’t know if I will be back to ever write another post. I am so depressed and sad right now, I wish I could give you an answer. All I know is that this blog, which once meant so much to me, feels dead. I feel dead.
Some of you who know me well, know I suffer from depression. I have never hidden anything about myself from you. Right now, I am very sick, very scared and very empty. I love my friends very much. I wish I felt normal and happy, but I do not.
I constantly think of deleting this blog and lately when I write, it’s all I think about. I am truly sorry that I am telling you this. I hope I can feel better soon, but it is making me sick just writing this. I hope I feel better one day, but I do not think it will be soon. I just want this feeling to go away.
In the event that I do not return, I want to say, goodbye.
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142 Responses to “Dying From a Broken Heart”
Hey Bobby,
I am so sorry you feel this way. Depression is horrendous and debilitating; it can be so hard to see clearly and with no close support system it can be extremely difficult.
Bobby, you know we all care greatly about you, but that doesn’t translate into someone who can hold you and comfort you when you’re lonely. I truly hope you can find some help because you are a fabulously giving, caring, and special person.
You must do what’s best and take care of yourself. I am sending prayers and good thoughts to you always.
Hugs,
MP
menopauseprincess’s last blog post..An Oasis In The Blogging For Money Desert–Smorty
Bobby, I am so sorry to hear that you feel so sad. I know how it feels to go to sleep alone every night - to wake up alone. I’m 35 years old, and much like you, I had my life all mapped out so many years ago. I would marry my soulmate, have 2.5 kids, a white picket fence…
Things didn’t work out that way. But you know what? Maybe they weren’t supposed to. Or maybe they were - just not yet. I honestly believe that things happen as they should. Perhaps we have lessons to be learned before we meet that perfect person. We have no way of knowing what will happen in the grand scheme of things.
I do know one thing though. You are a wonderful, wonderful person. And any girl would be lucky to be with you. Don’t give up. You will find her.
I love your blog, and I love you. Write. It’s who you are. It’s what you do. You bring joy to so many people by just being yourself here on your blog.
You never know…that girl you’re supposed to meet might just stop by your blog. So start posting already!
If you ever need someone to talk to, look me up on YIM, or email me. And if you need to chat on the phone, I’ll be happy to give you my number. Take care, Bobby.
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I will pray for u………
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Bobby, you my friend, have a purpose. Granted, we only know each other through our blogs, as such we have only a small window with which to know each other. However, I can honestly say, with just that knowledge, you clearly have touched the lives of many. Some bloggers (myself included) can only dream of the responses you get from your posts. Whether or not your purpose has to do with blogging, only you can answer. But know this: you have friends from afar who appreciate your presence and the gift of yourself.
May God bless you, friend, and may He help you find peace.
Mark’s last blog post..November is Alzheimer?s Awareness Month
YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!
Bobby,
I can’t be very sure that I know what you are going through right now. And I am not so sure if it was that Paid-post thing that trigger it or that you had suddenly realised how virtual relationships in the blogosphere provides. We are human beings and naturally have need for physical companionship and love.
We may be very far distances apart, but the concern and love from your good friends like Genie Princess, Jean, Emila, Janice, Winston …. are all very real. We really do care about it.
Dude, take some time off. To recharge. Everyone needs to stop for a moment at times in this Journey of Life to look back and re-examine one’s priorities in life.
I can’t make you feel better. But we are around you while you are down.
Blessings!
WaterLearner’s last blog post..60 Good Years
I WILL NOT WATCH YOU DIE!!!
Listen here dude… many of us here care about you. You can be feeling a little low now. You can don’t visit any of our blogs and curl up to reflect a little. But don’t you dare cut away from us. Bobby!!! Listen here, you are very important to us! You are not alone!!
WaterLearner’s last blog post..60 Good Years
oh gosh bobby, you’ve promised me that you will keep blogging. Pls do not bid us goodbye now.
you made me cried with this post. i am so sorry that you’re going through this low chapter in your book of life. I won’t admit that i truly understand how u felt but I almost can feel your loneliness through your writing. Please bear in mind that alot of us cares for you and you’ve many many wonderful friends here who are willing to help you.
Bobby, you’re in my prayers. Do not give up on yourself! We are ALL here for you!!! *Group HUGZ*
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I hope that I missed something, and this is a fictitional account, but you sound very sincere. I don’t know if I can say anything to help here, but I will send a prayer and a virtual hug over to your place. You are a good man, and that is a rare thing these days.
Eric
Eric “Speedcat Hollydale”’s last blog post..Olga was Hanging Right Under My Nose Tom Selleck
Hey Bobby,
This may be my first time to comment here… I’ve dropped by a few times but I really do hope you are OK.
Hang in there… You still have so many friends and I know that they’re/we’re growing in number. You’ve also helped a lot of people… your posts uplifted me.
I sincerely hope you’ll gonna be ok… we’re just rallying behind you.
Bobby, our friend,
When we first got to know about u, we knew u very well as that highly spirited blogger who had a vision, and that vision u had was to inspire all of us with your blog. And we know u still are deep down. Bobby, this is the time when u just need to take time off from everything that gets u tensed up, and do some soul searching.
Yes it is true, a time like this can make one feel like he or she does not want to live anymore. We faced that too before Bobby. U are not alone! We faced it too. But we don’t have to oblige to dying from a broken heart. A broken heart can mend, and your broken heart is not an exception. You can come back to life. What u need is the inner strength to pick yourself up once again, and we believe u have that.
U have inspired many of us, and u can inspire us again. And one thing is for sure, u have not lost anyone here in the blogosphere. So please, take good care of yourself, take it slowly, and keep your spirit alive ok? And u know we are right behind u cheering for u.
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I’m one of the lucky people that have been privileged to call you friend. If I could take away your pain I would. Before you decide to delete this blog allow me to remind you of one thing. The strongest swords are made by repeatedly bringing them into the fire. You are one of the strongest people around. You won’t drown Bobby, we’ll pull you out.
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Oh sweetheart! I understand, I do. I want to delete my blog daily sometimes. I, too suffer from depression at times and anxiety. I have some overwhelming situations. I suppose the fact I have children keeps me getting up and going on. You are so loved by so many. I’m just one tiny voice. But I love you and I want you to stay with us and keep fighting. What can I do Bobby? Email or call me anytime.
Polliwog’s last blog post..BlogBlast For Peace Happenings
Hola Bobby! Blogging can still be wonderful, if u let it be. Things may not seem to go your way right now, but everyone has their ups and downs. Take some time off to nurse ur broken heart if u have to Bobby but don’t give up. You have so many friends and fans, you can’t disappoint them now. It’s time to fight this depression Bobby, don’t let it win and eat you up slowly. I’m not sure what’s bothering you right now, but you can always talk to me if need be. Your good friends are all here for you and we’d hate to see our mentor and Friend down in the dumps right now. Take care Bobby and here’s a super duper special GP hug for you!
Genie Princess’s last blog post..Get Smorty!
Hi Bobby,
I am here because Santa asks us to go and leave you some words of support.
But maybe how you feel right now words just wouldn’t mean all that much to you. I hope, however, that one of us coming in here to try and make you feel a bit better will find the right words to lift you up a bit..
I know that when you’re feeling depressed people always tell you to cheer up — and that is usually exactly NOT what you want to hear, when you feel like that. All I can say is that the meaning of life - and the meaning of blogging - is only to find inner peace.
You may feel depressed, and your blog may feel dead to you right now. But it will come back, I just know that. At the risk of sounding exactly not how I want to sound: Give it some time and take a look at things from a few different angles, just as an exercise, maybe - new angles can be great.
Take Care, -Jos
Jos’s last blog post..AIDS is still advancing. Protect yourself.
hey Boobby buck up , life like a mountain, ups and down but got to reach top.
So be positive and be happy, life is too precious to ignore and let it pass by.
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BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGGGG HUGGGGGGGGGSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!
I believe that someone can still rise from the ashes as long as that person has breath still. I believe that you can do it, too…maybe it takes some time to be stuck in the darkest swamp of life…yet you WILL find the hope and strength to carry on. Rest if you must…but see you sometime again.
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Bobbyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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hey bobby, what is this goodbye all about?!?
my heart aches as i read your entry. it reminds me of the same situation i have been before. like you, there once a point in my life i felt dead, a living dead, walking and making a living lifelessly. a life i questioned, what am i doing here, what is my purpose, and if i have a mission here on earth, tell me now, show me now, so i can fulfill it and move on. I know very well how much you feel right now, at least i can relate with that depression [though i don't really know the reason]. i know being dead inside doesn’t hurt anymore, it’s like being numb from pain and disappointment, and we just go on each day because we know we have to. as the depression takes us, we refuse to fight it for sometimes it brought happiness because we felt we don’t have to care about the world who so turned its back on us. we very well know that depression is so deep but we still plunge into it, doesn’t care if we got drowned. but i got hold of myself and pull out of it, and you will too. so better get hold of yourself and show yourself the love you have found for yourself as you have posted before. you owe it to yourself bobby. we could always be in a struggle even with ourselves, but it is still us who will love ourselves in the end the most. even when the whole universe turned their back on us. as you have said above, blogging have saved you many ways, no matter how, you will be saved. it is by experiencing death that we learned to treasure life more. the more close we are to death the more we cling and hold to life. you will get well soon, don’t loose hope, take your time and heal, don’t rush yourself to come to terms with life, if you do, time and time again you will be at that point until what you ought to learn in life is learned.
And no one dies from a broken heart, only with no heart at all! so cheer up, even the broken one can be fixed. if it is love that broke it, it is love that will make it whole again
[but i hope you don't have to]
a tight hug from someone who care
p.s. sometimes we have to go to find our way back. so if you must go, go… so you would find your way back… and when you return, we will be here waiting
@}– ruby –{@’s last blog post..Happy Birthday Nelda!!!
Bobby,
I have lost count how many times I have visited your blog to check on you today. At times I left comments, others I shouted or only quietly came and quietly left.
I believe many others are doing the same as me. So listen up. You are not lonely here. You have all of us here walking with you. Even if the portion of your journey now is nothing but a stretch of shitty smelly dark pit, … we are here to walk with you.
I know the hurt it must have felt to lose someone when you were intending to marry her. I know the pain must be really very real. It’s foolish to tell you that the pain will go away when the pain is obviously still there. But do not push the rest of the people who really care about you away. Everyone has gone through dark moments in life. The reason of having friends is to share happy and sad moments. You have been the happiness of many of us here in the blogosphere. I am the techno-Idiot whom you have patiently coached to know about Technorati, PageRanks, SEO Links … etc. Please, let us share your pain then. Pour your pain out. Let it be a form of Emotional Release. Don’t keep it inside like this.
Please Bobby. Please. Please Bobby. Please.
WaterLearner’s last blog post..60 Good Years
Bobby …. COME BACK!!!!! COME BACK!!!!!
COME BACK!!!
COME BACK!!!
WaterLearner’s last blog post..Stop for a Moment
I have been where you are MY Friend. It is the loneliest place that you NEVER want to be. I would hug you if I could be there. The human connection, the human touch was the only thing that kept me anchored in this life when I didn’t want to be here. Let those of us who know you, love you. You will be well again. Right now it looks so bleak and feels like death. That’s the depression creating those feelings. I urge you to talk to your doctor if you haven’t already. It takes some time before those neurotransmitters can come back into balance with the proper help, so the sooner you get help the better. I know you know that. So many of us are extremely worried about you, Bobby. I know it’s the worst thing in the world not to want to be here anymore, but please, DEAR ONE, do NOT do anything to hurt yourself. Call a hotline, call two. Talk to someone, anyone, and just keep talking. Don’t give up, man! We need you here, Bobby! Listen..you’ve had the courage to write this to us..we hear you loud and clear. I speak for all of us who care so very much..please, we urge you, please take good care of YOU. You deserve the very best life and it’s not over yet, Bobby! No, it’s not. I know it may feel like that right now, but you have to give yourself the benefit of the doubt and realize that’s the depression, the all-consuming depression. If you can’t talk to your doctor personally today then go to an ER. I would drive you there myself, as would any of us, if that were possible. If you can’t do it for yourself, call 911. Nope, I’m not overreacting. I hear the desperation in this post. Just do it, Bobby! You are soooooooo worth it! So very worth it! You deserve to be well again..please take the next step to get there. Much Love from our deepest heart and soul,
Robin and all your Friends at MyBlogLog and Santa’s community
Robin Sardini’s last blog post..Dona Nobis Pacem
I came here from Santa’s Community Blog. I just want to give you a cyberhug and tell you to hang in there. I also would like to invite you to visit my blog. It’s a very simple blog but you might find something there that might bring some joy to your life. I’d be back to read some more of your posts - in the meantime (((((HUGS))))).
Liza
Liza’s Eyeview’s last blog post..UTI and Other Ramblings
OK, I left a comment and I don’t know what happened to it …
I’d come back later yo check if it went through…
Liza’s Eyeview’s last blog post..UTI and Other Ramblings
Bobby, I’m just a lurker here. I never comment but today I feel like I have to.
Do you take medication for your depression? If you don’t, please try it. From personal experience, I know it helps. It doesn’t make life perfect but it makes it better.
Please know that you aren’t alone. There are many of us who know exactly how you feel. I’ve battled depression most of my life and it is hell. But there IS light at the end of the tunnel.
One more thing… you helped me out today. Yesterday was one of my days of hell. Today could easily have been one also. Through your post, I can see that I am not the only one who battles the demon depression. I am not alone in my despair. So often it feels like nobody knows what it is like or how it feels. So often it feels like nobody cares. But you know what? *I* care and that matters. I care about myself and I care about you. Survive, Bobby! You will someday be glad that you did.
See your doctor immediately. I worked in law enforcement for 25 years. You need medical help now. This is not your fault, it is your illness. Please notice that and get some help. Big hug to you.
Sandee
Comedy Plus’s last blog post..Jane and Arlene
Bobby, you are crashing emotionally please seek help. Now. Today.
I’ve suffered from depression, self-mutilation, and suicide attempts since I was a child. I know how crippling depression can be. I can also tell you are viewing life through a fun house mirror right now. The pain you are feeling right now will pass. It will subside. You just have to ride out this storm.
Please take care of yourself, okay?
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Hey Babe, losing the love of your life can be tragic even without depression, so you must do something to stop the spiraling downward.
Once when I was in a similar situation someone told me I could control my thoughts and I thought she was nuts. She proved it to me. Think about a happy moment in your past that made you laugh or made you extremely happy. Think about that thought and hold it in your mind for 16 seconds. You’ll end up with a smile on your face. You can’t cheat because it always works.
This is obviously not a solution but proof that you can control how you feel or control your point of view about what’s going on.
I don’t know you well but I know what you have written and that’s a small window into your personality. I’m convinced you’re worth fighting for.
I’ll be sending my good thoughts to you all day.
Hugs,
FF
FeelingFlirty’s last blog post..Does circumcision matter when dating?
bobby I am dying as well… I need to send email to copyrighted godaddy and follow all steps at
http://www.godaddy.com/gdshop/legal_agreements/show_doc.asp?se=%2B&pageid=TRADMARK%5FCOPY
but I don’t understand how to do it… :((
I want to cry when I come here and find this post.. :((
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Hey my friend, I don’t think that deleting this site or your life is the answer. Wait a minute, I know it’s not the answer.
I know it probably feels like you can die from a broken heart. You might feel like your soul is sinking deep within your body with no where to go. But you have to get up as painful as it is.
Although your family and friends are away, we are still here and we care and love you. Things like this just don’t go away over night. It takes time, it take hope and courage.
I know you have it within you. Life isn’t what you expect or hope it to be, but you make the best of it. You have and you’ve done a great job of it! Your blog is one of the most active blogs I’ve seen. You breath life in the blogosphere with your love and passion.
You have touched all our lives, you’ve made us laugh and smile. Just hold on my friend. You’ll get by today, you’ll get up and do it again tomorrow. We love you.
Rolando’s last blog post..Body Shock
I haven’t read your blog before, but happened to visit today. I think it can feel like you would die from a broken heart right now, and believe me I know how it feels, I’ve been through it too. Even though I have 4 kids, I’ve been alone most of my adult life, I’ve got several broken relationships behind me and it never feels easy.
I know what depression is too and I know how feels when you don’t want to wake up to a new morning, but you have to, you owe it to yourself and to the people in this world. We need you, all the people in this world needs you even though you don’t believe it now.
I have a child that once suffered from depression and didn’t want to live anymore. I sat with her several nights and prevented her from harming herself, because I knew she really wanted to live, she just didn’t know how to live a happy life. She was angry at me, she shouted at me and cursed me, but we got through it and now she is happy with her life and happy to live. If I were where you are now I would do the same to you and even though you don’t know me, feel free to write me anytime and I will respond.., we can talk all day or night, if that is what you need.
Susie’s last blog post..What’s in a Lady?
Hey Bobby,
I can relate to much of what you have written…..but I won’t bore you with the details, but I will say that it all comes right in its own time, but in between it is hard. Even us guys have feelings and I’m not afraid to say that some things make me cry, sad, depressed. I too live alone, wake alone and spend most of my time on my own. My blogging friends online are absolutely the finest people one could meet, friends offline are few and far between, but they are the people I would trust with my life.
Take your time, take time to get out and do something different and remember there are many blogger friends who are praying for you right now, and if we could lift your spirits then we would shift heaven and hell to help…..that’s why we are here.
God Bless you Bobby, take care and get back to us when you are ready.
Colin
Colin’s last blog post..Santa Awards Me
Hi Bobby, though i am not in a position to console you right now as i am also quite troubled over my work issues but i still want to encourage you as you are one of the best blog writer s(frank and honest) i have ever seen on the blogsphere. So for the sake of all your friends and supporters, please continue to blog. I hope to see you back in the blogsphere, my friend. Take care.MakeTraffic
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Bobby….I’m sending you warm wishes, love and hugs right now.
Your not alone…although you may feel that way. I know all about depression since i suffer from it’s crippling effects at time. I don’t really know what to say to you that could help, nor do i think i am that powerful to think that my words could have that power.
All i can say is that i know how you feel and my heart goes out to you in that dark place in which you are now dwelling……sometimes you need to go to the edge of desperation, darkness and despair to find the essence of hope that has somehow gotten lost.
I hope you do return…and I hope you take care of yourself and that you realize you deserve more then you feel at this moment in time.
Love and hugs…..Morgan
Mighty Morgan’s last blog post..Hope
My Dear Friend–
Life seems unfair, and maybe it is. I really don’t know. Many times when we start out in life wide eyed and innocense we thing we have the world by the tail. Then those tribulations come: death of a loved one, spouse leaves us, being fired from our dream job, and many many more hurts of the heart.
I have PTSD because of some life experiences in V.N. many years ago. I had a beautiful wife leave me, I have been fired from my dream church where I was Senior Pastor, then lately I had 4 strokes which again cost me my life’s goals and dreams.
Throughout life I kept my faith in Christ even thought there was times I felt He had left me and I was all alone. Yet through the storms Jesus has walked up to my rocking boat. Unlike Peter I didn’t jump out of the boat. I stayed inside the safety of the boat. But He crawled inside the boat and weathered the storm with me.
I did marry again, which caused me many headaches being a preacher and all that. I won’t go into those details. I now have three great step kids all grown and very successful. Two wonderful step-sons-in-law that I love dearly. Life is still hard and there are lots of heartaches. But I always look for that clear sky no matter how small it may be off in the distance. What I am saying is work harder with your blogs, put one foot in front of the other, and sure enough it does get better.
My friend I am here just write to me anytime. I will listen with an open heart. Rev Ray
Reverend Ray Southerland’s last blog post..GOD’S FAMILY CHURCH DOCTRINAL STATEMENT
Bobby,
By the end of the day, there will be a letter in your email inbox. I know you don’t feel like reading anything at the moment. But please, read my letter.
Love,
Erina
Erina Hart’s last blog post..Burned Out With Meaning
[...] now, our friend Bobby is so despondent that he really needs some genuine encouragement right now. Bobby is full of warmth [...]
I wish I could think of something to help you…we all know how badly we feel and all of us have been there…even though right now it doesn’t seem possible…you will, in fact feel better some day….you have to fight this and we are all behind you…you have to see a doctor and get some help…nothing is forever…even all the bad feelings will somehow pass…please look back to a happier time and consider what made you happiest then..pretend your living threw those times now..people can’t make us happier, only we can make us happier,,you probably feel betrayed and confused..reading and silly old movies help me..and love of friends and even strangers helps…wish I could reach through
the page and give you a great big hug right now…come to my blog anytime…I would love to be your friend…maun
I’m sure others will have better advice than I, but I’ll just offer the basic “hang in there!” You were one of my earliest MBL contacts, so I remember you even if I don’t frequent your blog often.
dcr’s last blog post..Show of Opinion for SciFi
I sent you the email. It should be in your @gmail.com inbox.
I hope it finds you well.
Love,
Erina
Erina Hart’s last blog post..Burned Out With Meaning
Hi Bobby,
I’m sorry you’re feeling so horrible. And I hope you’re not really saying goodbye. Everyone loves your blog and would miss you terribly. I don’t know if you ever got my email, I hope so. If you ever need anything just let me know. I hope you feel better soon.
Christy’s last blog post..35 and Counting….
Bobby, I’m very sorry you feel as you do! I will not attempt to say I understand what you are going through because I do not. I have, however, have had to battle my own demons and periods of loneliness. At times in the past, when I felt there was no hope, no escape, no answers, the moment of my greatest darkness, I would think about my friends, and my children. Just the mere thought of how blessed I was to have them in my life, permitted me to find the strength to move forward. It is very difficult thing to do, but you have many friends. More than you are aware.
For sometime now, I have been visiting your site through my reader. I have only left one or two comments on a few posts. As a nebulous blogger among the hundreds of thousands that exist, you have been very helpful to me for which I am greatly appreciated. Perhaps I should have communicated this earlier.
Your presence, your friendship, and your very existence has meaning with which you should know and understand. Many people care about you and it would be very sad if a dark void is created as a result of your departure.
I will be sending timbers up on your behalf and I wish you peace and comfort in this most difficult and trying time. I promise you, tomorrow will be better than today, but not as good as the day following.
With warm regards,
Hawk
Hawk’s last blog post..Part 1: Feminism - a changed perspective . . .
Bobby! You have so many of us behind you. Please come back and talk with us. You’ve given so much love and you just have to hold on. . . and talk . . . I can’t say anything other than I will stand by your side! I’m here for you brother. Love you.
jon
Jon’s last blog post..The Trauma of Heart Break
Dear Bobby
I don’t really know you very well except that you wrote a very lovely comment on my Stumbleupon page and added me to your Technorati favourites right at the beginning when I was very new to blogging and it was kindness from people like you that encouraged me to keep going with it.
My husband left me 6 years ago after 25 years of marriage so I understand some of what you are saying. The world can seem a very harsh place. It’s easy to think that everyone else is loved up, coupled up and you are the only one who is all alone. I still have moments when I think that too. I have nights when I dread going to bed alone and find getting up to make an effort through yet another day alone almost too much to bear. But the old cliche is true, it does get easier and you will find someone.
My blog has been a wonderful way of meeting kind, friendly, encouraging, caring people all over the world. It has filled a gap in my life and I would miss it terribly if I stopped. It isn’t a substitute for a real life but as a virtual life it is pretty wonderful.
Please draw support and very warm thoughts from me, even though you don’t know who I am. You have many online friends I can tell and they are all wishing you well and hoping to hear more of your funny warm take on life and your expertise and advice. I hope you will feel better soon, you are a great guy. I can tell.
Diane
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Bobby, I am sorry you are hurting. I have struggled with depression myself, so I know how dark things can seem sometimes. I am sorry you have lost the joy of blogging. I hope that you can regain it, so we can all continue to spend time with you on the blogosphere. But if you don’t, I hope you move on to other things that will reignite the spark in you.
A virtual hug to you.
Ingrid’s last blog post..Fiction Friday- November 9, 2007
As so many others have tried, I’m trying again to leave a comment. Please get in touch, I’m concerned about you. We have spoken about that women and I’d like to help if I can.
Andrea’s last blog post..What Ethics Should be used When Reporting a Story?
Many of us tried to comment here earlier and were not able to so this is a test..
Robin Sardini’s last blog post..My Heart is Breaking Today
so then start over,, try something new.. be you,, quite all the techie bullshit and for god sake write!!!!! i know you can do it,, i have read tour stuff… you are too tightly strung emotionally not to let that shit out on paper.. there are plenty of people out here who don’t give a rats ass about page ranks and following comments… we want to read you bobby… always have….
give it a break,, if your broken pour that shit out on paper.. then you’ll know who your real friends are……..
XXOO
paisley’s last blog post..dress up
Hi Bobby! I am sorry that you are feeling the weight of such pain. It is not a good place to be. I know as I have had more than my share of pain and lovelessness. Please, do me a favor and do not retreat into the pain. I would like to talk with you about this, I know I can shed some light on the situation. If not, I will pray for you, I will uplift you with my thoughts, I will comfort you with my spirit, and, I will hold your tears as you cry…
Please, it is important that you do not dwell in the pain. Release it. I know it is difficult, but, I also know for sure, that it can be done… You are not alone, there are many people here who truly care about you. You are loved, respected, admired, and, considered a major player in the blogworld. Do not turn your back on all that you have worked so hard to build. Accept the love which is given to you, it is REAL love. It is unconditional love. It is love from the heart, and, not the mind…
I would really like to tell you some things which would show you that heartbreak does heal and go away. Maybe it doesn’t seem like it now, and, perhaps every now and again it returns, but, it DOES heal and get easier to deal with over time.
Know this, you deserve REAL love. Real love is not tainted with pain. It is joy, happiness, and, total commitment, it is something which will not let you down… You will find this kind of love, believe me, please, believe me, you will… And when you find it, you will know what I speak of. You will see that dwelling in the pain of love gone bad was not worthwhile.
I am sorry, I do not mean to go on and on, but Bobby, please, do not return to the darkness of pain and depression. It will subside if you allow it to. It will only make it worse, worse, if you succumb to it.
Take a short break, but, do NOT succumb to its full weight. We care for you and do not want to see you suffer. Please, we are here for YOU! Know it, believe it, feel it, and, grasp onto it, reach out for US, as we truly love and care for YOU!!!…
Lynda’s last blog post..LOVE IS MORE THAN SOMETHING TO BEHOLD~~~
Bobby, we LOVE you! Please, do not succumb to that pain and suffering! Please, know that it will get better, you only have to allow the pain to subside… I have so much to tell you, I know so much about dealing with this, but, since I cannot, know that I will pray for you, my thoughts will uplift you, my spirit will hold the tears you shed…
You are respected, admired, and, considered a top contender here in the blogworld, please do not throw it all away, there are people here who need your loving self around.
Do not succumb to the darkness of the pain, please. I understand about being burnt out and about the pain at times overwhelming you, but, honestly, you will get through it and TRUE love will find you, I am certain of this. It takes time, it takes belief and faith. it takes a mindset of I CAN OVERCOME THIS and I will find REAL love one day… Many of us are alone, and we manage it, as we have not relinquished to the pain… Yes, it is difficult, it is terrible, it can be as bad as we allow it to be, but, we can get through it, we can heal, and, we most certainly CAN find love which will never forsake us. Love is here waiting for you, so many of us love YOU! who knows what will come of the love shared here in the blogworld. Please, do not give up. Take a break and come back to our open arms and minds, we will uplift you and we will stand steadfast with you while you heal, which you will, I promise, you only have to allow yourself to… I am sorry to go on and on, but, I have so much to offer in this situation and since I cannot, I don’t know exactly where to draw the line…
We LOVE YOU BOBBY, know that, and, come back to us, we are waiting with genuine love for you…. Take care and understand that love will come again… Especially to someone like you, you are a fine person, don’t ever forget that, ok?
Lots of hugs, prayers and best wishes forever… Lyn
Lynda’s last blog post..LOVE IS MORE THAN SOMETHING TO BEHOLD~~~
Come back, Bobby. You have friends, because jon at Chimeric Day Dreams is worried and sent his readers over here.
I too suffer from depression, and am just out of a long tough stretch; I was unable to work for 10 months after the death of my mother.
Ride through the tough spots, because on the other side of that heavy pain is also lightness and love, work and joy. I’ve been on that dark side of the depression so many times, and it always passes in a few days or months. I’ve not been able to see it when I’m stuck in the middle of it.
I know; sometimes it’s so bad, and it’s impossible to describe.
Pick up the telephone and call your local crisis line, get to a doctor, get some help.
Please.
I can say these kinds of things, because I’m a grandma and that’s the kind of thing we grandmas do.
But I’ve also been unable to pull myself out of bed.
Please know there’s a middle-aged lady who’s been in her own kind of pain.
And know that I am pulling for you.
Beth’s last blog post..Chris Daughtry-I Walk The Line
I certainly hope you do come back and very soon! You have come through your depression before and you will again. Keep telling yourself that.
Sue Bride’s last blog post..A New Default Wordpress Blog
Please don’t go, or…. do anything silly. I truly understand what you are going through. http://onlineshoppingbargains.blogspot.com/2007/03/thank-you-dari-so-very-much-for.html
please, please email me if your want to talk.
Thinking only good thoughts for you,
Michele
Michele’s last blog post..Deals of the Day 11/9/07
This is my first visit to your blog, and I am so sorry that your spirits are low. But I do know you are loved. I came here by virtue of several other bloggers who created posts in support of you. Have you tried thinking about just how much you are loved and would be missed if never heard from again? You’d even miss getting to meet great new people like me! Try and keep your head up and trust that your presence is desired by a lot of people. And I am now one of them.
Shelia’s last blog post..Vagina: It’s Not a Clown Car
Bobby, I know what such depression can be like…and if you think I dont, well, you have never lived inside my head !
I just want to offer you my love and support and let you know that I am wishing only the best for you.I would love to see that bastard depression and sadness be lifted from you,so you could just rest and get better.
You might give up on blogging but Dont even think of giving up on life, its just not an option!
Sending Jesse hugs through to you, and commanding you to take care of Bobby, he is very much in need of love right now,which I am sending as well.
jesse’s last blog post..Friends In High Places..
Hey Bobby,
You don’t know me and i don’t know you but i read your post and i was touched by it.
Life can be unfair sometimes. I know it, i’ve lost some very close loved ones when i was only a teenager and i felt despair. I know the empty feeling you have mentioned but remember, none of this feelings last forever. Know that there is always hope, know that the sunrise ALWAYS follows the night.
Life is a gift even if it’s not always easy. It’s normal to be dissatisfied sometimes with the current situation, we are evolving being and we always need to renew ourselves. So when we feel stuck, it’s a sign that it is time for us to do something else. But the answer is within you. Once you learn to quiet the inside “chatter” and focus more on what you want, the problems will dissolve and a new way will appear. You will meet new people, develop new passions and find new love. All you have to do is BELIEVE it is possible and it is coming your way.
It’s a promise. Now be strong!
I’m available if you need to talk.
wow, Bobby, yes that is heart breaking for sure, and most of us can certainly relate to this at some point in their life. My thoughts are with you, as i certainly understand
Hugs for you my friend!
darlene’s last blog post..The Common Cold
Bobby, what’s happening. I got a shock to return home from 2 days stay at my mum’s to read this post from you.
I MISS YOU !! Please come back !!
Janice Ng
Janice’s last blog post..Milk Powder
Please take care of yourself.
Ann
Ann Clemmons’s last blog post..Happy Saturday Movie Classic!
Hey Bobby. In regards to your blog, I think everyone goes through how you feel at one point or another, at least those with a blog similar to yours. If I were in your position, I would this yourself some time away from this blog and see how you feel after that. Maybe you’ll find that it’s THIS blog you don’t want to work on anymore and not blogging in general. In that case, maybe the topics you cover on here (business, blog tips) just aren’t what you should focus on or you need to let yourself out of that box (i.e. write about more stuff or stuff that you’re really keen on).
And I’m really sad to hear that you’re having such a down day. Depression hits us all from time to time, of course some more than others. Just remember that no matter what you’re doing, online or off - There’s plenty of people who care about you. Maybe when you get a chance, you should think about calling up someone random in your phone book and just go grab dinner and a movie and a drink. Sometimes you just need need someone to talk to in order to feel a bit better.
In any event, know that we’re all thinking about you and hoping to hear from you soon. (#):)
Bush Mackel’s last blog post..Saturday Speedlinkin VIII
Hi Bobby,
I am so sorry to hear that you’re not feeling well, I too have days when I can’t deal with the kinds of feelings that you’re having. I just want to say that although you can’t see it right now because of the way that you feel, there’re a lot of people that Love you!
Just take each moment as it comes and get through it, you can talk to me, I am here for you man. If there is anything that I can do to help you through this day I will. I hate to see anyone suffer like you are at this very moment, and I am ashamed to say that the best advice that I can give you is what I tell myself.
This too will pass, get through this terrible day and think better thoughts. The feelings that you are experiencing right now are all because of the way that you are thinking. Think of one good thing, that makes you feel better and keep doing that until you are back to the Bobby that I know is in your heart.
Love, Peace, Hope and Joy to you my friend,
Jeff
Hi Bobby,
its been a while..gee,i havent known you personally,my very first impression was that you are one of the computer masters and didnt realize whats behind this blog.
Nobody dies of a broken heart…
Blog is really a therapy,so pls dont stop and spill out whats in your heart and mind and we are here for you.Goshh,I really sympathize you,Bobby.Just hang in there and let the wheel keep on rolling and it would sure put you on the top,blooming part of your life someday.
I wish my words are enough to brighten your day…
Ill keep on visiting you.
Smile and lots of hugs from me,
Ghee
ghee’s last blog post..Receiving Mails In A Nice Mailbox
Bobby, I do hope that you will feel better and decide to return. You offer so much value to the blogosphere that it would be a tragic lose to not have you around anymore.
Just hang on a little longer things have to get better than they are right now. You know the saying “the only way to go is up from here”. That’s where you’re headed
Lisa C’s last blog post..Sort of a flashback!
Obviously, I do not know you. But I do know your way of thought.
Every word of your message tells me you think too much about what you don’t want.
You need to understand something…what you think about the most is what you see showing up.
Don’t think about what you do not want. — Think about what you do want!
Wherever you spend your most thought is what you are attracting to yourself. It’s that simple. At a minimum, our thought and interpretations about what is happening to us has been proven to be directly related to what we are thinking about “the most”.
If you want to feel better…think differently!
How many more ways can I say it???
Change the way you are thinking and you will no longer be depressed.
Catch yourself in the very thought you are thinking right now and DECIDE to think about something else which you can be grateful for. Something you do want!
Stop thinking “I do not want to be depressed” (or whatever is causing your depression), and start thinking “I am grateful for . It’s impossible to be depressed if you are constantly grateful.
Stop saying “why does this always happen to me” type questions. That’s a dumbass question!
Start asking “what can I do right now thats going to make me happy”!
Ask quality questions!
Do it and you’ll feel better instantly…yes, INSTANTLY
Maybe not earth shaking different, but you will have started in the direction which you really want to be.
Like playing a guitar, the more you do it, the better you get at it.
Let’s face it! I bet you’ve spent a lot of thought talking yourself into depression. You now need to spend as much thought thinking, doing and being, your way out.
We all get depressed! It’s a matter of how long you want to stay there.
Some people stay days, weeks, months and years. However, change happens in an instant! You are the decider of when change takes place. If you decide to be happy, and constantly create ways to become grateful, you will have triggered the fruition of happiness. If you do not have anyone to turn to, get involved in your community and find way to help. This alone gives purpose.
Your next step is to continue to catch yourself each time you are experiencing a depressing thought, and change your thought to one which is more advantageous to you.
Keep in mind this is not an overnight answer, but rather a way of “becoming”. A disciplined way of thinking which allows you to feel better. You will experience results immediately ever how subtle they may be.
Remember, what you think about the most is what you are attracting to yourself.
My observations is even if the thing you are thinking to yourself is saying “I don’t want to be depressed”, ironically, you are attracting depression to yourself by thinking that thought.
Think about what you do want!!!!!!!!
Note this: Experts say 97% of the thoughts you have today are the same thoughts you had yesterday.
The good news is we have 3% new thought per day.
Consciously grab one of those thoughts which you are grateful for and focus on that.
Change your interpretation of what you believe is happening to you. Just because you think the way you do today, does not mean you have to think this way tomorrow, or even a minute from now. THE PAST DOES NOT EQUAL THE FUTURE!
I’LL close recommending A book you might consider.
As A man Thinketh - by James Allen
No, I’ll close with this…
We’re all connected and it’s not natural to end your own life. In my opinion, that is a selfish act. You act as though you do not serve a purpose and you only affect yourself.
I do not know your purpose, but I do know we are all connected and if you end your life, you are f*#@in up the system.
Be grateful!…………..for anything! ……..If you can’t think of anything, you’re not thinking in the right space hard enough!
May you find the peace you are seeking,
Russ
I forgot to include the link to the book I referenced.
As A Man Thinketh by James Allen is available for free at http://www.asamanthinketh.net/download.htm
Dear Bobby,
I am so sorry to hear you had your heart broken. I want you to stop and think about how you have played such an important role in peoples lives over the Internet. You are kind, sensitive, caring, loving and the list can go on and on. This is her loss. Things happen for a reason. I know it can be difficult to think or hear those words, but they are very true.
I am grateful to have met an individual like yourself and you will always be in my prayers. You are not alone. I added another poem/song I wrote when I was in so much pain and felt like I was trapped in this body of pain. God has lead me to meet people such as yourself. Without people like you, I would feel useless and worthless. Think about it, I believe people cross paths for a reason. We have met for a reason. Let me take that pain away and listen to me as I say “You are needed in this world
”
The cards we are dealt in life are only those that we can handle. We just have to remember that. Which is why we are all here to tell you…….You are loved and needed by all of us.
Love Your Friend,
Viviana Walters
Viviana Walters’s last blog post..Balancing Life and Our Priorities
Pull your socks up and fight your way through it bub!
Debo Hobo’s last blog post..West Texas is No Country For Old Men
I stopped by here a few times to check to see how you were doing. At times it can be tough when you feel that you don’t have the stength to overcome the obstacles that stand in your way. You can get past them. I felt like my world had come to an end when my fiancee was killed in an accident. My daughter wasn’t even born then but I was able to make it. As anitbarbie said your mind is extremely powerful use it. You have a lot of people that truly care how you are doing. You have a strong support system.
You’re in my thoughts.
Opal Tribble’s last blog post..Positive People And A Amazon Affiliate First, Yesterday was a Great Day, Today Will Be Even Better
Hey Bobby. So sorry to hear you feel that way. I may not know you well but judging from your posts you do seem to be a kind and genuine soul. I hope you feel better soon. I will pray for you. Do take care………..
Ivy’s last blog post..Mastering The Art of Falling
hi Bobby came here from Jon’s site… i see you have many friends here…
always remember there’s always a rainbow after the rain… and uhmm.. we all go through “struggles” and “pain” in order to grow. since they are tools for progress. try to find the “seed of equivalent benefit” from what you are going through right now.
be safe. be blessed.
tina’s last blog post..Vanilla Cola
Hai Bobby,
my heart goes out to you.. I can relate to what you’re going through right now, I’m there too at this moment. And I also know, that much of the heartwarming advice people give you can be exactly the wrong one right now..
I do hope that you sense the love and support that is sent your way..
But please, do take care of yourself now!
Blog whenever it feels right, when it HELPS you. When it helps you deal with your feelings, when it helps you to feel better. Otherwise, it will wait for you, that blog isn’t going anywhere!
Just don’t make any irreversible decisions now. Not concerning your blog, or any other thing.
Find stuff you like to do, that help you feel better. Find someone you can relate to, to talk to. To help you sort out what’s going on with you right now, and what the best step forwards are..
Take care, my warmest wishes to you…
Hi Bobby,
I’m so sorry you are having a hard time. I know first hand what depression is like. It is awful and impossible for someone that has never experienced TRUE depression, not just the occasional down period, to understand. I have suffered with severe depression all my life.
If you would like to chat or just have someone listen to you, my Yahoo Messenger ID is sandydg350762. Just add me and I’ll be there to listen.
~Sandy G.
SANDY G.’s last blog post..SOME STATINS LINKED TO SLEEP DISRUPTIONS
One thing I found out is that you are never alone in this world. I too suffer (ed) from depression and felt as you did…but the one thing that you cannot do is lose hope. Hope is the one thing that God has given us to hold on, to wake up to another day. Because believe it or not, every day does get better, every week does get easier, the pain and isolation does go away. But you have to want it to…
I wish you all the best…
Marvalus’s last blog post..Questions, Questions, Questions
Dear Bobby,
It is so good to hear from you. I do so hope you got my messages posted in your comment section.
I too have been where you are at. I suffer from severe depression much as you describe. So please know that I do have a total and complete understnading.
In the past few weeks the same thoughts have run through my mind about deleting my blog. And for exactly the same reasons you have listed. But, I am trying to hang in there. But, I too am re-assessing if I may have taken on too much.
And please know Bobby that I do not need nor do I expect a reply. My God we have bombarded you when you need peace the most. But, you see so many of us truly do care. Have a good run Bobby and as I stated in my comments to you….we will all be here for you when you are ready.
Peace,
Jackie
Shinade’s last blog post..Indiana-The Heartland of America
Hi Bobby, this is my first time to visit your blog, i read your story from Jon. I hope and pray all is well. I know how hard it is when you are broken hearted, but i believe that you are a strong person and a fighter in the struggles that we go through in life.
In time, you will see that by going over this very difficult ordeal in your life you’ve come out a stronger and better person. It always helps to pray and to pour out all that you feel to God. Never be afraid to cry. Sometimes we do not understand God’s reasons, why some things must end, why we have to feel heartbreak and desperation, why some people have to leave us, but always remember in everything, there is a reason and the reason is always good.
It may be that God is preparing you for something or someone much better and deserving of your love. Hang in there, there is always a rainbow after a storm. It may be difficult now, but only time can heal the pain of a broken heart. One day, at the right moment in time, you will meet the right one for you, and you will be thankful of this heartbreak because it made you much stronger, wiser and a better person. And it led you to the right pathway, to a love that is more beautiful and that is meant for you.
Thira’s last blog post..Carsblvd.com
I wish I knew what to say without sounding trite. I have loved one’s that go through depression and it is such a lonely place. What I do know is that the black dog, as one relative calls is, moves on. Hope yours moves on soon.
sending my best wishes
jafabrit’s last blog post..Having Fun in the Studio
Bobby, My thoughts and prayers are with you! Everyone here has said everything on my mind. As you can see, you have the love and support of a large community here. We are all hoping to hear from you soon!
Julie’s last blog post..Want info on the Writers’ Strike?
hey dude
I don’t know you but I found your blog via the Santa site!
sometimes I too have felt that I could die from a broken heart! you are not alone in this. wether it be from my family they just throw me away as a small girl or some jerk I was with who I thought had loved me? I have been homeless a couple times and very ill near death i know what perosnal suffering is! but you MUST have strength I know it does not feel that way now but you will get thru this! I believe you will get thru this and you must believe it too! I donot know why some go throw sufferin but we all do some more than others listen too some music, hang with some friends get it out just please donot keep it in. There will be better things in store for you, watch you’ll see
alll the best
harleyblues
harleyblues’s last blog post..Fav Beatles tunes for Bloggers! prt1
hey dude
I don’t know you but I found your blog via the Santa site!
sometimes I too have felt that I could die from a broken heart! you are not alone in this. wether it be from my family they just throw me away as a small girl or some jerk I was with who I thought had loved me? I have been homeless a couple times and very ill near death i know what perosnal suffering is! but you MUST have strength I know it does not feel that way now but you will get thru this! I believe you will get thru this and you must believe it too! I donot know why some go throw sufferin but we all do some more than others listen too some music, hang with some friends get it out just please donot keep it in. There will be better things in store for you, watch you’ll see
alll the best
harleyblues
I wish you well, but no people can’t die from broken hearts they can only choose to languish is the misery or choose to move on and experience life. Life is large, life on earth encompasses a vast planet full of experiences of all types not limited to the self indulgent and the self preserving.
Very few people live the little white house picket fence dream.
Love yourself enough to get help if you can not shake the feeling.I think your fans would like to see you return.
Blogging is what it is and maybe not worrying about all that technical stuff, which mean little anyway in the scheme of things, and enjoying each and every little weird experience and poem and piece of writing is the way to go.
There is much worth living for and I hope you can find your way out of the tunnel. There is light there believe me.
I hope to see you soon.
cooper’s last blog post..In Honor of Veterans Day
Bobby,
Sometimes when our lives seem the darkest, the brightest rays of hope will shine through the window the very next day.
Get yourself whatever help you need, hang on to hope, know that you are not alone and that suffering is everywhere in the human condition.
The only decision you have to make right now is to hang on until you can find a way to make things better. Then just take it one step at a time. Just one tiny step.
Please be kind to yourself.
Lynda
Lynda Lehmann’s last blog post..Introducing the Beautiful Abstraction of R?v?sz ?va Gabriella
I found your blog thru Santa. You’re not alone. I know what you are feeling and then some, only -there is someone here with me. He just chooses not to see me. At times I feel as if I am only here because he needs someone to cook, clean and care for his children. When I need someone he walks away and says good luck with that problem. When I break down and cry he says to get over it or again, simply walks away. When I try to hug and kiss him he complains.
My ex-husband was no better. Sometimes I wonder if I’ve already died of a broken heart. I wonder if there is something wrong with me. I know your pain. If you ever need someone to talk to, I am here.
Joy’s last blog post..Raising Alzheimer’s Awareness
Hey man, I was pointed your way from another blogger friend.
I can understand your feelings. I’ve also battled depression in the last while, and I’ve been through some of the same experiences. Nothing in my life has turned out the way I planned or expected. I never completed college like I planned, and I had 2 fantastic women who I was more than willing to marry, go on to marry other men within years. I’m stuck in a job I hate, and a life I find boring.
You’re right, living with a broken heart is a pain no one else can comprehend. You suffer quietly every waking second. Your soul longs to detach and join that other person for whom you care for so much. It’s hard to watch everyone else around you live a normal life while all you want to do is wall yourself off. I understand because I’m there too.
That being said, I want to share with you why I continue to open my eyes each day. People may say these reasons are selfish and self-destructive, but they are compelling for me to keep me going:
1) I want to see how bad it gets. Sure, it’s masochistic, but I honestly believe innovation is born from pain, suffering, despair. Man has always made some type of innovation because of adversity, and this feeling is the ultimate adversity.
2) It keeps me grounded, it becomes my strength. My “dark” feelings allow me to be objective. To plan for the worst (which is useful in my job). To not be swayed by emotions when making decisions, even if it means to go against everyone or to piss everyone off. If i can channel my deepest hatred, fears, and loneliness it can empower me to push myself to do things I don’t normally do. This for me is the hardest as I fall over to one side or the other which can result in fits of depression or spontaneous fits of indulgence.
3) Happiness is an illusion. Love doesn’t exist. There is only contentment in the here and now. I have existed in the past, but I can’t go back to change it or re-experience it. I can’t fear the future because it hasn’t been written yet. I live in the here and now. I can only hope to find pleasure and contentment in this very moment before moving on and leaving the past where it belongs. In the past. Reading of Buddhist texts has lead me to fully believe in this statement. It’s hard to truly comprehend, and even more difficult to follow. But it does give me respite from the “darker” feelings, and allows me to balance my life better.
It’s my hope that sharing my feelings, my thoughts, and my pattern for life can help you in some way, even if it is to think about your own feelings and to help you mold your own parth for life. I truly wish you the best and the fortitude to find your way to contentment.
-G aka lazyjai
Hi Bob,
I will not telling you about how wonderful you are, I don’t even know you. I strarted with this bloging thing a few days ago. But I really know what depression is, ‘couse I suffer mysefl from.
I don’t even know to writte ehglish in proper way, so I made lots of writing mistakes, but hope you’ll understand what I’m writing.
I’m from Croatia, maybe you have never even heard where it is, but in my 38 years of life, I have expirience of, lost my father, when I was 17, lost my bes girl friend ( she commited suicide), lost my best boy friend ( died from heroin), WAR, when I was 22 in my country was civil war.
On my hometown falls 3000 granate dayly, my boyfriend was in the army at that time, and it last for a 5 years. In 21′th century my town lived with no electricity and watter for a 4 years… and so and so… Here in Europe..
Now is much better, there is no work, there is no hope, there is no idea how to go on.
BUT I’m still alive, I’m taking my pills and fighting, becouse I don’t want to let life beats me. There is always possibility that you don’t want to go on, that you want to cut with all and that you don’t want your live. But beleve me, I’m suffering as you are, I know how your mornings are, how your evenings are, and know that you laying in bed every night with will not to wake up in the morning… know everything about this…
And I know one more thing, if you have no will to live for your self, you have to live for those people who loves you. I know there is plenty of them..
Now when I writing to you, eather beside all this people who can read this, I can feel your soul, can feel your pain, can take away a little bit of this and transmit to myself and let you feel a bit better.
Love is the only thing that living is worth for, but love between men and women is not the only love that is worth. Look how many people here who loves you, who need you to be here. So be here, stay here. To die is the easiest way, but only life can bring you the only thing that is worth. LOVE.
Fight baby, I’m with you in my thouts… and be here, I’ll check you..
Thanks Menopauseprincess, It has been tough this past week. I think be the time I turn 50-60 I will be putting the “C” in cuckoo
You have always been really nice to me and I am so sorry I just fell apart.
Tish, Thank you. You are so nice to me, and I really don’t know you that well YET! I appreciate your uplifting comment. It has been tough to even look at my blog but I have to answer these comments. I love you too
Thanks Winston. I really don’t deserve any prayers though. It does mean a lot to me
Thanks Mark. I am trying to just read my comments. You have been a good friend and I will try to be up and running soon. Thanks for your friendship.
Thanks Karen. I hope I can keep myself from letting you and everyone down.
Karen…I am not going to die (at least I hope not). Blogging has changed for me over the past few months and it’s brought me a TON of stress. I hope I can get the negative out of my system