Archive for January, 2008

Why I’m Not a Money Blogger

Blogging has evolved just as societies have throughout history. What makes blogging unique, is that it encompasses the entire world, all of us together under one technology; worldwide communication with everyone using the written word.

I’ve been blogging for almost one year and I have explored intensely, learning all I can. Blogging is the only “society” where we are all together and still, we separate ourselves into cliques, groups and hierarchy. Already, bloggers are divided which is such a shame.

After looking at all of my options in what I choose to express…my chosen identity, who I am as a blogger and what is truly important; I choose to be a personal blogger who tries hard to initiate and cultivate worldwide friendships.

I’ve met just about every type of blogger and have tried to become friends with them all. One thing that stands out is that it’s very difficult to become friends with a “money blogger”. This is why I am not one. If someone makes $15,000.00 per month and has a highly ranked blog…they don’t read my blog.

Why don’t they read my blog or maybe your blog? Because we have nothing to offer them in the way of making more money. We are insignificant and the ones they prey on to earn a buck. I have yet to successfully become friends with a money blogger, yet I have tried!

“If it’s impossible to become your friend, I will probably not read your blog.”

The one thing I feel great about is that I have kept most of the friends I met when I first started. To me, a true money blogger isn’t a blogger…they are websites using the blog medium to disguise themselves as friends. Does this statement offend some of you?

We, the blogging masses have all the real power, which is universal friendship. Friendships free from the constraints of religious, political and geographical separation. This is the most incredible attribute inherent to this technology. When you throw money into the mix, it changes things.

Money doesn’t inspire me. It doesn’t excite me and it never will. People and life inspire me. Art, literature and good friendship inspires me. Blogging has inspired me to be a better person. The Internet has become a place of education to me, I use it to learn something new everyday.

Some of you may be thinking, “I’m a money blogger and I thought we were friends!”

Haha…we are friends, but you aren’t making $10,000 per month with your blog either. If you were, chances are, you wouldn’t be reading this blog! Making money with your blog doesn’t make you a money blogger. A money blogger is one who writes exclusively about how to make money on his or her blog…the most uninteresting subject I know of.

However, I could be friends with a money blogger…that’s up to them, not me. I’ll be friends with anyone willing!

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Faceless Friday

This is a picture of my friend Randy Hover from Long Beach Mississippi. Randy is locally known for getting more pussy than perhaps any male in the entire history of Harrison county (it’s true). He’s forgotten about more lays than most guys ever conceptualize. One Thanksgiving while Randy, myself, and several other degenerate scoundrel intoxication-masters of fun became too high to realize we were conscious, his mother snapped and beat him to death with a ball-peen hammer. She leaned down and morbidly suckled the coagulated blood gristle from his profusely bleeding lacerations and screamed the still undecipherable phrase, “Shala-Alghor! I serve my master with perpetual passion until my soul merges as one with Leviathan.” We stood in shock but were so tweaked on powerful chemical substrates, we could only watch in a trance of putrid elation. After being disemboweled by his mother, his father picked him up from the taxidermist (they did a fantastic job!). We thought he looked great compared to how he looked before his mother burrowed a cleft in his skull, transforming his face into a blackened blood-pit. Every Christmas, his mother places a candle in his hollowed out skull and lights it at the stroke of midnight.

Randy Hover - Faceless friday

Randy Hover - Faceless friday

Below is a picture of how he looked before the shotgun blast: As you can see, he was an unusual looking fellow (affectionately known as the human lizard). I remember how he was always covered in dirt from crawling under the house looking for mice. He could tell you the colour of a rodent’s fur from distances up to 5 miles by scent alone. His sticky tongue was legendary for catching flies around the southern Mississippi region. When asked why she killed him, his mother said, “The boy was so damn ugly…it would make a locomotive take a dirt road, but somehow he got laid too many times to count. That conundrum became my albatross and thus . . . I had to kill him.”

The Human Lizard

The Human Lizard

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The Ethics of Doing the Right Thing

Christy, from Christy’s Coffee Break is having a contest about Random Acts of Kindness. This is not something I did recently, it was several years ago. However, this incident is true and merits being told. It’s a day I’ll never forget and it changed me as a person. So, this isn’t an official entry. I simply dedicate this post to her and all the great people who are participating…a gift from me to all of you!

Working in many different types of sales jobs, I have learned first hand what money does and means to people. We all need money to live, unless of course we choose to live in the wilderness. I wanted to share an incident that happened to me that we can all relate to. It is my hope that we learn something from this! Lets get right into the subject at hand.

One of the highest paying jobs I had was being the manager of an AAMCO transmissions shop. For those of you not from America, AAMCO is a national chain of automotive transmission repair shops.

I know nothing about transmissions and at the time, knew nothing about sales; this is why they hired me, I was a blank slate – the unshaped clay from which they could carve a cut throat salesman. All stores in the chain pay the manager the same way, twice a week.

I was paid $500.00 every Friday (base salary) and then paid my commission check every Monday, which was usually around $1500.00 – great pay for such an easy job. I raised the store’s weekly gross from $7,500.00 per week to over $28,000.00 per week in the first two months. This wasn’t enough for the two owners, they wanted more.

I received several death threats from irate customers but the owners said it was normal and I needed to toughen up! It took me a little while to realize what was really going on; they were ripping people off.

Doing The Right Thing

A woman came in with seven children, I knew she was stressed and could sense that she had serious financial problems. She told me that her husband had left her and she was working two full time jobs to take care of her children.

It just so happened that this was the 1st time my boss let me run the shop completely by myself. Her vehicle had been towed to the shop and I made it a priority to get this woman’s vehicle repaired quickly. The head mechanic told me that she had a broken clutch cable! I was really happy that I could go relieve her stress telling her the good news.

A transmission repair is expensive, between $1200.00 – 3000.00 on average. To repair a broken clutch cable is less than $100.00 – big difference! I had a big smile ready to tell her the good news, when the owner stopped me and took me in his office.

He asked me if I had told her the diagnosis, I told him no. He looked at me and said, “Bobby, you go tell that woman that she has an internal transmission problem and we need to open it up to find out what’s wrong with it.”

I said, “I cannot do that…it’s a broken clutch cable, there’s nothing wrong with her transmission. That woman is working two full time jobs and is taking care of seven kids!”

He became irritated with me, “Everybody has seven kids and two jobs, she’s playing you like a violin. That woman has money…NOW GO GET THAT MONEY!!!!!”

I walked back into my office and the children were complaining they were hungry, some of them were crying. The woman was crying, her hands were trembling as she expected bad news…I could sense that she was used to getting bad news.

I smiled and said, “GOOD NEWS! It’s a broken clutch cable…$79.00! It’ll be ready in an hour.”

She ran behind my desk and hugged me, tears streaming down her face. I felt so good that I had been honest with her…I actually cried too. The head mechanic smiled at me. He never liked me before that day. He walked over and said, “Thank God we have someone here with the guts to do the right thing.” and shook my hand. I knew I had won the guys in the shop over as I had earned their respect.

The owner called me into his office, I could feel his fury before I opened the door. He said, “You are fired. I thought you would be great manager, but you are weak and we need a winner in here.”

I was glad he fired me. I did the right thing and am proud of myself for doing it.

How They Rip You Off

AAMCO transmissions (and most all automotive repair shops) charge what is known as shop labor on every repair. This is not based on the actual work done. It’s based on a chart in the AAMCO sales book. We charged 11 hours of shop labor at $49.00 per hour just to remove the transmission and determine the problem. This is separate from the cost and mark up of all parts!

One mechanic could remove a transmission from a Toyota Camry in 15 minutes! In many cases, the entire process of removal, disassembly and diagnosis could be done in two hours. We still charged the customer for 11 hours!!!!!

This is what greed can do to people and businesses. There is no automotive repair shop in America that will charge you for the actual work done, they will always overcharge you. This is yet another reason I see money in a responsible way. People count, not money.

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Killing Old Hag

I’m wandering through the frozen foods section in Wal-Mart wearing an ornate aura of nomadism, which masks my wicked intentions. Frozen dinners are the main part of my diet and I love shopping for them.

I’m reading the label on on a box of frozen egg rolls for twenty-five minutes while this vulgar old hag impatiently waits behind me trying to get to the freezer. I notice that she’s wearing sandals, exposing her hideously sickening, fungus encrusted toenails – with transparent skin sheathing purplish dead veins. “Sir. . .Please excuse me.” she says touching my arm.

I pretend to be surprised saying, “Who’s that!”

I step back quickly with my right leg wielding a thickly heeled boot – viciously stomping on her toes, placing all my weight on them. She tries to scream but cannot – hunched over with her hands on her knees. I bounce slightly, my heel still firmly planted on her foot.
“Scream you morbid old hag!” I quietly shrill.

killing old hag

She can barely breathe, much less scream. . .pure terror. My heel finally cuts through to the hard floor – her toes sheared from her repulsively milky foot while a puddle of black blood grew underneath. Mangled skin portions entangled in whole sections of varicose veins lie blood sodden, hanging from her amputated toes.

I’m smiling at her with my mouth, while my eyes stay frozen without emotion. With a look of excruciating pain on her face she clutches her chest; I can actually hear the muffled sound of her ribs breaking as her heart explodes. I pull a thick clump of paper towels from my pocket and wipe my boots.

I begin quickly walking towards the automatic doors and don’t see any store employees. I make it out of there without anyone noticing me – my dick is hard from all the excitement.

The picture I found years ago somewhere on line, if these are your feet or you are the originator of the photo, I’ll give you credit. No old hags were injured in the writing of this story. :twisted:

BTW- This is an excerpt from one of two books I’ve been writing for over two years. It’s 1st person horror which makes it that much more disturbing. Remember, it’s just fiction…muah hahaha!


Creative Commons License

This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

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WordPress Ping Warning

I noticed MaxBlogPress has a plugin called the ping optimizer which I wish I’d been using all along. This plugin is a necessity for anyone running a self hosted wordpress blog, and therefore deserves mention to those of you who might have missed it.

A few months ago I edited tons of old posts, fixing the title tags and did several edits of each one. After installing this new plugin I learned how bad this pinging problem is. If I save a unpublished post as a draft, it pings!!!! If you have a blogger blog or a wordpress.com blog you won’t have this problem.

Is this the culprit which ruined my page rank? I turned pinging off on the plugin’s options. It lists what is pinged and what would’ve been pinged. Just working on one post (a draft) I was shocked to see what would’ve been pinged if I weren’t using this plug in!

Take a look at this (keep in mind, this is only a section of the pings…around 50% of what actually happened):

wordpress-pings.png

WOW!!!! Unbelievable. The day I edited most of my old posts probably pinged thousands of times. This will get you listed as a ping spammer quicker than you can blink. They really need to fix this. I believe most of the pings were caused by the autosave feature because I didn’t save the post that many times.

WordPress needs a global pinging control to say the least. Keep in mind, a post doesn’t have to be published to ping every service! Thanks to MaxBlogPress for giving us this plug in. I imagine that I’m listed as a ping spammer in many places. This plugin isn’t perfect but will certainly help! I leave pinging turned off and just do it manually through Ping-O-Matic.

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Bobby’s Batch #2 – Blogosphere Gems

If I wrote a post entitled “Delectable Discoveries from The Unsung Heroes of Restaurants” and listed the following, what would be your reaction? Are these blogosphere gems?

The Quarter Pounder from McDonalds – I discovered this hunting for rare treats yesterday! It features a chopped, whipped and blended, machine strewn and digitally fabricated meat pattie on preservative loaded, factory made bun!

The 10 piece bucket from Kentucky Fried Chicken…AND SO ON!!!!!! (if I want to read about chicken, I’ll go to Speedy’s blog…hehe:)

This is the equivalent of linking to posts from the richest, money making blogs. Do you see my point? Everyone already knows about those blogs. It takes a lot more work to find cool articles on lesser known blogs! Support the little guys and gals…for they are the MAJORITY among bloggers. It bothers me to see bloggers linking to these bigger blogs, it makes no sense (even though I’ve done it…just something to think about).

This week, just for fun, I cover a spectrum of unique articles…all categorized in a conglobation of uniqueness!

Read the rest of this entry »

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Love Hate Circumambulate

I was tagged by Marzie and Bobo on this love hate meme (a replicating post that moves from blog to blog building a chain of links and relies on propagation through tagging a new list of bloggers to join in – the Revellian definition…hehe)

1. I love to eat: Thinker’s Tripe – butter sauteed medulla oblongata drizzled over a bed of freshly slaughtered sheep brains…yummy!
2. I hate to eat: with some weirdo staring at me
3. I love to go: inside a warm home when my keeper allows me
4. I hate to go: beddie bye without a bowl of chocolate ice cream
5. I love it when: A chef washes his hands before handling my food
6. I hate it when: A grubby, unbathed and stinky person coughs into their hand and then wants to shake mine…gross!!!!
7. I love to see: beyond…with my third eye
8. I hate to see: ugly hairs hanging from someone’s nostrils
9. I love to hear: the terrifying sounds of a violent thunderstorm…yeah!!!
10. I hate to hear: alcoholic police officers talking bad about crackheads

I tag nobody but do it if you want!

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How To Provide Traffic For Others

I see so many people trying hard to earn traffic for their own blogs, it’s natural. As humans, we like attention. We want to feel important and our work has some sort of validation. Often, with this mindset, we miss out on what is truly important.

“It is like a finger pointing away to the moon. Do not concentrate on the finger or you will miss all that heavenly glory…”

Bruce Lee

I suppose I sometimes see things from an opposite point of view compared to many people. That’s why I never really fit in while growing up, and in school. Whenever I saw the majority herd like sheep around the latest fad or coolest clique – I ran the opposite direction.

When we write about how to gain traffic, we are really out to gain traffic for ourselves. We rationalize, believing we are teaching others how to gain traffic – we are really teaching others to be greedy, just like we are! I see money bloggers often believing they help others by teaching them to make money…they are really just trying to make money for themselves!

If you seek out new bloggers (meaning a blog just started by a novice), what is your intention? Is it to gain a link? Is it to sell them something? Is it to truly make a friend? I am just looking to make a friend.

Some Thoughts on Technorati

Let’s set the record straight on Technorati. If I link to you, you gain +1 in authority. If I link to you 1000 times, it still only counts +1. I cannot add 2 or more points to another blog’s authority. That link will last 180 days! After 180 days, it no longer counts! So…you can fight to raise it, but it is only temporary!

A friendship lasts longer than 180 days, definitely something to think about! This is why I never check my stats…it’s the most irrelevant information in the universe.

Give The Gift Of Reading

“For anyone wondering how they’d go about looking for new blogs, look at MyBlogLog’s list of new blogs. That will get you started :grin:

Brown Baron

Read other blogs and leave them comments. Read blogs in many different categories, other than your own! Brown Baron recommended to read blogs listed in the new blogs section on MyBlogLog. Don’t go hit these new folks with a sales pitch or asking for a digg or stumble!

When you visit a blog, you are entering their home! It’s like going to someone’s house for dinner. Have some freaking manners! Read their blog…it’s the greatest gift to give :smile:

Link to cool unknown posts from other bloggers. Most people link to the same blogs, usually the big, well known blogs. For crying out loud, the big blogs have enough links. It’s like sending an expensive present to a multi millionaire. I’m often amazed when I see a restaurant give free meals to famous stars. Why do they do that? Feed a starving child for free and charge the star!

Don’t Be An Expert

When I started blogging, I didn’t have any readers. So, I started reading about how to get readers. One of the things that stuck in my mind was the recommendation that being known as an “expert” is good for traffic.

When someone claims to be an expert, they come off as not an expert. Experts don’t claim to be experts. A true expert is one who realizes they are but a beginner, no matter how much they know. If you are an expert, let others say it, don’t say it yourself.

I remember the 1st time I heard someone talking about their glass being half full. Immediately, I thought they were referring to Zen philosophy. Hahaha…they weren’t! A glass half full means optimistic, half empty means pessimistic (live and learn…hehe).

I say the glass is always empty, as my mind is always empty…detached from the situation. If you want an in depth explanation of detachment, read my post, Beyond Thought II: Detachment. The western mind is often a full glass. There’s no more room in that glass for new knowledge. Claiming to be an expert is a pure expression of being a “know it all”.

“Remember this. The traffic you give is better than the traffic you receive…”

Don’t be an expert…BE YOURSELF!

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