Coping Skills - Dealing With Life For Happiness

This is my entry in Jamilla’s Share Your Happy Moments With Jamy contest. Please visit Jamilla and say hello; she’s a wonderful person with a big heart!

Happiness has long been elusive for me. I have many happy moments to remember but one recent event in particular really stands out for me. It’s about letting go. What I mean is that by letting go of my expectations of others, I have learned about a fantastic new ability. I tend to get perturbed when people don’t understand or accept my point of view. I think many people experience this.

I thought I understood that it was up to me to be at peace with myself, but I really didn’t understand that. As many of you know, I suffer from depression. I tried anti-depressants and they didn’t help. I now talk to a psychiatrist, some of which is in a group therapy setting. This has helped me more than anything I have ever tried.

Talking to these people has been both powerful and profound. There are people from every walk of life - from doctors to store clerks - all there for one common goal. Just a few weeks ago, I would get irate when thinking about president George Bush. Sometimes it would literally make me angry. When I’d talk to people who disagreed with me, it would burn me up if they didn’t see it my way. Thus, I learned that I had to let go of those negative thoughts.

I don’t mean just ignoring my anger. I mean that I truly released myself from the grips of the root; the place where these thoughts were born. In one group therapy session, I argued with another person about these things. I told them, “If the world thought like me, there would be no war and people would never suffer from greed and many other things.”

My therapist laughed at me and said, “That is the absolute silliest thing I have ever heard. You aren’t even happy. You may have wonderful ideas, but the reality is, you cannot make others think the way you do.!”

We talked for several more minutes and it hit me. We all cracked up laughing and I really learned something. It’s one thing to understand a concept and another to actually employ it. Now, when I start discussing something and that knot starts building in my stomach, I just let go and smile.

It’s happened hundreds of times in the past week. I was able to catch myself! I have never been able to do that before - not to that degree of efficiency. I am not really learning anything new, but a new way to cope. That is the keyword: coping.

In order to experience happiness, we must be able to cope with all that life throws at us. I never once considered that I had poor coping skills in so many areas. It’s amazing to realize the truth. I am on the path to inner peace and no amount of money could compare to that feeling of liberation. I still have much more to learn but I feel certain about my progress.

As I wrote this very post, my blog went off line. I smiled and patiently waited for it to come back up. I realized I lost half of what I had written and I laughed - made a calibrated decision and finished up in my desktop editor to prevent the same occurrence. Because I remained calm, I was able to remember exactly what I wrote and simply retyped it. Now that is unbelievable. That my friends, is happiness.

I hope this post helps somebody out there. I must admit, writing this has been a wonderful experience. Thanks Jamy!

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Tags: anti depressants, depression, group therapy session, happiness

February 27, 2008 · Filed Under life personal, thought

Comments

17 Responses to “Coping Skills - Dealing With Life For Happiness”

Square1 on February 27th, 2008 9:16 pm

Congrats, Bobby! Now if I can simply learn to deal with insensitivity on the part of loved ones, I shall have found my ace in the hole as you seem to have.

Square1’s last blog post.. Being Content With Little
Revellian on February 27th, 2008 9:45 pm

In the movie Fight Club, I think it was Edward Norton who said,”To let that which does not matter, truly slide.” I like that quote. To get physically upset about something is a really big deal. I’ve been punishing myself at the expense of my own sanity for years! That’s not fair to me or anyone else. The only thing different about me is that I now stop and think, before I get worked up. It’s not good enough to just do it occasionally; I must do it 100% of the time.
I’ll be learning more for the rest of my life. Thanks Square1
teeni on February 27th, 2008 10:10 pm

Hey Bobby - that is great about your new ability to let things go. We all need more of that. And isn’t it funny how when some things just click into place in your mind it’s like an epiphany? Sometimes it just takes someone to say something we think is totally outlandish to change our thinking. Your therapist laughing and calling you out must have felt totally aggravating at first and then when you had a moment to see it his way - voila! I love those moments. And you are 100% correct - we are all learning every day of our lives and the learning doesn’t end after schooling. Thank goodness or I’d be a totally different person than I am today and I don’t think I would have liked me very much!
teeni’s last blog post..Party Time at the Tea Room!
Revellian on February 27th, 2008 11:25 pm

I’d like to think that someone could spit on me and slap me across the face (in public) and I would remain calm and go take a shower - instead of going to jail…haha! The world will not change for me or anyone. I have learned a lot and I now stop before I get mad; what a great habit to have developed! I can be an overly emotional person sometimes…that’s my real problem. Did I have an epiphany? I think I did! Thanks Teeni
Square1 on February 27th, 2008 11:36 pm

And what an odd turn of coincidence that my “Being Content With Little” post should follow up my last comment in the Comment Luv. It’s a strange Universe, it is.

Square1’s last blog post..Fun Stuff… You Know… For the Fun of It
Revellian on February 28th, 2008 3:26 am

The past few weeks have had a unique energy here in the blogosphere. I haven’t read that post…I will come see
Genie Princess on February 28th, 2008 4:05 am

Hi Bobby, I’m glad to see that u’re learning to cope with life’s daily stress. And letting go is the best form of liberating yourself from unnecessary stress! No point dwelling on something if it’s not going to make things better, sometimes it’s best to let go and not worry so much! Take care Bobby.

PS. Did my mug cheer u up somewhat?
Genie Princess’s last blog post..House Hunting
Revellian on February 28th, 2008 5:01 am

Marzie! Yes, it did cheer me up very much! I have it right here on my official blogging desk! I will post some pics soon and keep my mug safe forever. I am doing really well right now and have lots of people to talk to including you and many blogging friends. I always thought that people would think I was crazy if I went to a psychiatrist but it’s much different that what I thought it was. It’s helping me to help myself. I have no reason to be sad or mad
Beaman on March 2nd, 2008 7:36 am

I cut out and kept the following article from The Times (UK).
I’m not sure if I agree completely with the writer but it’s comforting in many ways.

Beaman’s last blog post..Olmert Makes a Stand
Brown Batch #42: Sunday Link Love » Brown Thoughts on March 2nd, 2008 10:01 am

[...] dot Com - Coping Skills - Dealing With Life For Happiness We talked for several more minutes and it hit me. We all cracked up laughing and I really learned [...]
Revellian on March 3rd, 2008 12:36 am

Thanks Beaman, I’ll go read it! I haven’t read the UK Times before
Laila on March 3rd, 2008 12:52 pm

Nice Post, Bobby!

Laila’s last blog post..Cool Posts I Read Today
Genie Princess on March 3rd, 2008 1:03 pm

Hola Bobby! I have some awards for you, have a good day at work today.
http://mariucasperfume.blogspot.com/2008/03/awards-fiesta.html

Genie Princess’s last blog post..Phoebe in Red!
Success with Todd on March 4th, 2008 1:41 am

Link Love - Social Networking, Building Niche Stores, Adsense Rules, and Much More…

It’s been a good start to the week out there in the blogosphere. I just wanted to take a quick opportunity to share some of the best of what I’ve been reading …

First, Jack Humphrey just released the newly updated Authority Black Bo…
Revellian on March 4th, 2008 4:36 am

Thanks Laila!
Revellian on March 4th, 2008 4:37 am

Marzie! Please work for me today…I wanna go back to sleep!
The Happiness Workshop on August 14th, 2008 9:40 pm

I always like to see how other people interpret things different or similarly to myself.

An interesting post (and comments… lol).

Thanks,
Dr Andrew Power