Rent Yourself A New Image

We are bombarded with the importance of image and societal class every day of our lives. The way a person looks is often placed above their values and it is reinforced by compliments and feelings of false self-esteem.

People buy $25,000.00 Rolex watches on credit so people will view them as high class citizens. Hence they can look down on another for not wearing name brands. I am perplexed by this and find it to be the most ridiculous aspect of life. From $500.00 haircuts to thousand dollar shoes, people are all about their image.

I saw an advertisement for some website that rents designer purses to women yesterday and laughed uncontrollably; I literally almost passed out. I’m sorry, but that is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard in my entire life. What kind of person would rent a purse? Who would even know that it was so great anyway?

I’ve known guys who rented sports cars to impress a girl on a hot date (not me!) - but purse rental? If a woman rents a purse it will not impress a man. Men don’t notice purses or what brand of clothes a woman wears. It would only be to impress other women or just to make themselves feel important.

Imagine this: I see a woman with a fancy handbag, walk up and say,”What a beautiful purse! Let me guess - it’s a custom shop Gucci - no, it’s a Louis Vuitton! Is it a rental, or did you buy?”

As absurd as that sounds, it would probably be a great opening line (except for asking if it was rented) for someone into superficiality. If I dated a woman with a rented purse, would I need a matching rented wallet? Where can I rent some designer underwear? You never know when you’ll need these items!

dirty-suit.jpg

So I’m standing there, looking filthy rich in my rented Jean Paul Gautier suit. Behind me is my rented Porsche and people standing downwind can smell the delicious aroma of my overpriced Creed Bois du Portugal cologne. I step forward in my rented, $1500.00 Testoni
Norvegese shoes and pray someone important notices how cool I am - if only for a second.

“Please God, someone notice my opulence…my swagger…my richness! Look at me you poor fools - wearing your $12.00 Wal-Mart sneakers and your $5.00 t-shirts. SOMEBODY PLEASE LOOK AT HOW RICH I AM!”

In the midst of my conniption fit, a dirty piece of trash pickup truck drives by, splashing a tidal wave of grotesque mud all over my wealthy attire. I scream, “You scumbag piece of human dirt…how dare you!”

I cannot bring these soiled clothes back to the rental store; I will have to actually buy them. I took out a high interest loan just to rent them - now, I’ll probably lose my apartment and have to move into a poor neighborhood. What on Earth will I do?

I see a rich man step out of a Rolls Royce, noticing a thick wallet in his jacket pocket. I run at him in a ferocious rage, “Give me your wallet fool…I gotta pay my bills!”

A poor street thug sporting a gold chain and drinking Bling-Bling Blue Raspberry wine blows my head off with a shotgun - my blood sodden brains splatter across my rented porsche. Yes…redemption…and I die in style.

bling-bling-mad-dog.jpgIf you’re wondering, there actually is Bling-Bling wine. I used to manage a liquor store that serviced a poor area, inundated with crack head wino’s. Mogen David 20/20 wine is a traditional, high alcohol wine affectionately known as “mad dog”. With a stroke of business genius, they decided to capitalize on America’s love affair with gang culture and put a fake gold chain sticker on the bottle and named it “Bling-Bling”. Hahahahahahahaha! People came in the store in droves saying, “Yo…gimme some of that bling-bling…hell yeah, that’s what I’m talkin’ ’bout!” I still have trouble believing that people actually bought this stuff…now that’s American.

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February 29, 2008 · Filed Under Humor

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58 Responses to “Rent Yourself A New Image”

  1. Top 13 Commentators - February 2008 | My lucky number 13 on February 29th, 2008 11:40 am

    [...] Bobby Revell has written an interesting post, Rent Yourself A New Image, saying that “the way a person looks is often placed above their values and it is reinforced [...]

  2. menopauseprincess on February 29th, 2008 12:38 pm

    Bobby, about 25 years ago I worked in a bar where we couldn’t keep the “Mad Dog” in stock! The clientele there loved the stuff!
    Love your post, I have seen that rental site for the purses as well, but because I used to sell on ebay I know firsthand how rabid women can be about purses and shoes. I’m a “one black purse” kind of girl, but there are some women for whom designer purses are an addiction!

    menopauseprincess’s last blog post..The Power Of Pretty-Part 2

  3. Mitchell Allen on February 29th, 2008 1:36 pm

    Hi Bobby,
    Now this post started off serious, but then you had to make me laff with the Bling-bling wine and blood sodden brains. You are truly a master of the liquid alliteration!

    I would much rather buy a video about fools who think being rich means livin’ large. Actually, there are a few that portray the real meaning of rich.

    Here are two contrasts in my video library to explain my point:

    King’s Ransom (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0388183/)
    Last Holiday (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0408985/)

    When you think about it for a minute, there’s a whole spectrum of videos that portray money in all of it’s good vs evil glory:

    Boiler Room vs Fried Green Tomatoes
    Two for the Money vs Trading Places
    Scarface vs The Prize Winner of Defiance, Ohio (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0406158/)

    Cheers!

    Mitch

    Mitchell Allen’s last blog post..Six Simple Sounds Summarize Self Story

  4. Reformed Smoker on February 29th, 2008 2:36 pm

    I say live and let live. Evolution has given us the ability to tolerate, and tolerate we must. Even if they are idiots.

  5. Revellian on February 29th, 2008 8:32 pm

    Hi MP, I guess I just don’t get it. I can’t even watch the Academy Awards anymore because of questions like, “Who are you wearing?”

    Narcissism and decadence are the product of letting money rule people’s lives. It’s so ridiculous, all I can do is shake my head. I’ve had my share of Mad Dog as a teen and sold thousands of bottles. It’s truly a marketing phenomenon and has made tons of cash….and is still unbelievable :mrgreen:

  6. Revellian on February 29th, 2008 8:41 pm

    Thanks Mitchell! Nonetheless, I find it highly entertaining. I’ve known so many people who completely revamped their personalities once they had big money - including their friends and families. They say things like, “I have money now…you wouldn’t understand.”

    Haha…I don’t want to either :mrgreen:

  7. dcr on February 29th, 2008 11:52 pm

    The problem with image is in how other people look at you. Not buying fancy things isn’t the actual solution; the solution has to start with people not judging character on the basis of those fancy things.

    The sad thing is that, for example, people will treat a man wearing a suit differently from a man wearing jeans and a t-shirt. Likewise, people “in the know” will treat a man wearing an expensive suit differently from a man wearing a less expensive one.

    There is some truth in that you must “dress for success.” As ridiculous as it is, I see incompetent people all the time getting high paying jobs when more qualified people don’t get those same jobs. And the difference is in perception, which is often wrong.

    But, despite it being so often wrong, people still fall victim to it. And, as long as people continue to judge others by their clothes and accessories, other people are going to have to “invest” in such articles just to get by.

    dcr’s last blog post..Naked If Not For the Apron

  8. Revellian on March 1st, 2008 1:06 am

    Hi DCR! Unfortunately, people do have to dress for success. I used to sell cars at one time and the sharpest dressed salespeople were usually the most successful. In most cases, these people usually ripped customers off more than most everyone else. I know better and will only buy a car from the most poorly dressed person because I’ll get a much more honest deal - as ridiculous as that may seem.

    Television and other forms of entertainment reinforce these shallow behaviors. I have just as much respect for a garbageman as I do a brain surgeon :smile:

  9. Revellian on March 1st, 2008 5:31 am

    Haha…very true Reformed Smoker! :mrgreen: Thanks for visiting!

  10. Mike on March 1st, 2008 7:54 am

    What a freakin’ hilarious read, buddy :mrgreen: The whole premise of this would actually make a for a pretty awesome little short film. Of course you’d need a nice little budget to rent all that stuff :P
    Mike’s last blog post..Soo, I bought yet another domain

  11. Revellian on March 1st, 2008 8:15 am

    Haha…Thanks Mike…I’m glad you liked it! With a low budget, you have to make up for it with crazy stories and intensely freaky characters. Million dollar budgets can’t save 90% of today’s movies. Hold on…I think that’s ABC Rental at the front door coming to confiscate my rented computer :mrgreen:

  12. Zubli Zainordin on March 1st, 2008 8:56 am

    I prefer to join you and add on to this interesting post. It is an important part of *Know Thyself*. When I was still a virgin, I read Dr. Maxwell Maltz, Psycho-Cybernetics. http://www.psycho-cybernetics.com/maltz.html. I understand the importance of Self Image, that relates to what Bobby Revellian mentioned, Self Esteem. Each of us carry one, and can be changed to a better one, always. So, being true to oneself, and continuously improve each our self-image is a vital part of our total life. For those who understand the difference between Character and Personality, this shall be easy. But again the majority of individuals, citizen of this world, are still at persona and first impression. One can be wise to benefit from this situation. In 1979, in college, the guys find Mr Abdul Aziz, a fine Deputy Head of Student Affairs. His team are totally nice and accommodative. They are not only hearing, but listening to us. Yet, to get to him and his team, one has to either wriggle or bull-doze the Front Liners. We get shouts of, “wait outside”, “line up first”, “Mr Abdul Aziz is busy” are said with shoutsnizationness, when through the glass windows, he non-verbally invites us in, into his office. So, the next visit, we each wear Batik Suit, and be seen like a pure local distinguished corporate figure, and at the Front Desk, “Please inform Mr Abdul Aziz, Zubli Zainordin is already here!”, with the vocal tonality so profound, and receiving this, “Yes Sir, please sit down and wait, I shall inform Mr Abdul Aziz you are here”. LOL!!! Please ponder on this: If It Is To Be, It Is Up To Me.

    Zubli Zainordin’s last blog post..! Lily Ruth

  13. Debbie Dolphin on March 1st, 2008 1:28 pm

    Rent Yourself A New Image???

    I use Crayola Wild Blue Yonder to color my Image Under the Sea! :)
    This saves me the 3 tons of silver dimes you spend on colloidal silver injections! ;)
    Debbie Dolphin’s last blog post..To the Lighthouse Excellent Award

  14. Revellian on March 1st, 2008 1:33 pm

    I think you’re a secret agent working for the one’s known as “they”. I see right through your code language and though you may have a waxed, blue tongue…I can can see the truth with my FBI night vision :shock:

  15. Debbie Dolphin on March 1st, 2008 1:50 pm

    Shh… Financial Blue Investigation (FBI) is a secret that only Dolphin Danger Rangers know the meaning of.

    The FBI is So Secret that dolphins drink blue dolphin martini potion elixers to safeguard the the code language of secret posts. “They” will never be revealed by me :)
    Debbie Dolphin’s last blog post..To the Lighthouse Excellent Award

  16. Jeremy Womack on March 1st, 2008 8:04 pm

    Well, if the phrase “Perception Is Reality” every held any water, it’s wrapped up entirely in your post.

    Let’s go on the theory that what you wrote is true. That it doesn’t matter what one wear’s, no one notices anyway. It’s hard for me to agree, because people really do notice. They want to see people higher then themselves, as it gives them a goal to chase after. One can call that shallow, and that’s fine.

    Again, “Perception Is Reality”, people enjoy watching YouTube videos with people acting like morons, because they don’t see themselves as morons. It lifts them up to know there are people out there worse off then they are. Hense why the Jerry Springer show was so popular.

    So, it works both ways. People want to see people better then they are, so they have something to strive for. And they want to see people worse then they are, so they can breathe a sigh of relief, knowing things aren’t as bad as what other people are going through. :idea:

  17. Revellian on March 1st, 2008 8:34 pm

    What theory are you talking about? This is a comedy post. :shock: Are you wearing a rented suit? :mrgreen:

  18. Jeremy Womack on March 1st, 2008 8:35 pm

    Yes I know… I thought you could see the comedy in what I wrote as well. :lol:
    Jeremy Womack’s last blog post..2Nite in Las Vegas Nightlife: Saturday 3-1-08

  19. Revellian on March 1st, 2008 8:40 pm

    But I have a blue tongue Debbie…I mean Dolphin Danger Ranger Debbie…and it’s not from a blueberry lollipop :shock:

  20. Revellian on March 1st, 2008 8:57 pm

    Haha!!! Thanks Jeremy! Your site has some really hot babe pictures and I’d definitely rent a suit…and a car…and even designer socks for one of them :mrgreen:

  21. Jeremy Womack on March 1st, 2008 8:59 pm

    well, the designer socks are the tipping point you see. Anyone can rent a suit and a car, but it takes real balls to rent socks.

    Jeremy Womack’s last blog post..2Nite in Las Vegas Nightlife: Saturday 3-1-08

  22. Revellian on March 1st, 2008 9:14 pm

    As long as they are 100% pure lambswool handmade by Italian designer Gianni Versace :smile:

  23. Jeremy Womack on March 1st, 2008 9:15 pm

    only the best will do

    Jeremy Womack’s last blog post..2Nite in Las Vegas Nightlife: Saturday 3-1-08

  24. Debbie Dolphin on March 1st, 2008 9:18 pm

    Are you eating smurfs again for Gargamel? ;)

  25. LFXT on March 2nd, 2008 4:56 pm

    hi bobby i was so much happy to see your comment on my latest post i admired the way u faught negativity very good i also been through depression we all do ….and blogging was one of the things that changed me and made me better if u notice my blog’s name is feel happy i started that blog for one reason is to learn how to be happy and share the others how to feel happy

    this post is interesting and renting purses made me laugh ive never heard about that b4 for me a woman that rent purses or whatever to impress a guy or a guy that rent an expensive sport car or whatever both of them are narrowminded and have no self-confidence liking someone depends on how your inner beauty coz this lasts 4ever

    and the people that cant afford luxury and take loans or go for debts are really fools sorry to say this coz they lie to themselves and to others they live lives of millionaires and they r not

    see ya again :smile:
    LFXT’s last blog post..The Poison That Kills Your Dream (part 1)

  26. Genie Princess on March 2nd, 2008 5:09 pm

    Morning Bobby! I wouldn’t want to rent a purse, a cute kitty cat perhaps, but purse? ;)
    Genie Princess’s last blog post..Phoebe in Red!

  27. EuroYank on March 2nd, 2008 5:20 pm

    In Chicago the cops drank the 20/20 more than the crackheads, and strangely enough the inner city ghetto areas had the best soul food, barbecues, best huge gulf shrimps, and fish fries. Come to think of it back in the 1960’s being square was not hip. I wonder how that image is today in right wing monoplized america?

    EuroYank’s last blog post..The Four Stages of the Post - Oil Crash (Essay)

  28. EuroYank on March 2nd, 2008 5:25 pm

    You forgot to mention boone farm wines that the white kids in the suburbs dined on!

    EuroYank’s last blog post..The Four Stages of the Post - Oil Crash (Essay)

  29. Haney on March 2nd, 2008 5:30 pm

    Do you know that the secret to be rich is to buy non-branded stuff?

    Haney’s last blog post..StumbleUpon Weekend

  30. Paula on March 2nd, 2008 5:58 pm

    HAHAHAHA! Great writing Bobby! I buy really cheapo purses that fall apart too often. I’m queen of cheapo. Maybe I should rent a big ole fancy purse. I want one with your head on it.

    I agree 100% with Zubli’s comment above as well. :-)
    Hey Bobby, I’d love your take on this big awards debate. I want to do a rebuttal on this guy’s post so bad, but I don’t think I could do it justice. You game?

    Paula’s last blog post..Pretty Vegas

  31. Revellian on March 2nd, 2008 6:17 pm

    Your comment didn’t go through Zubli!

  32. Revellian on March 2nd, 2008 6:19 pm

    No, but I did eat an entire box of Fruit Loops without milk, right out of the box like they were Cracker-Jacks :shock:

  33. Debbie Dolphin on March 2nd, 2008 8:32 pm

    Hmm… Why would a Silver-tongued Blogger color his tongue blue with Fruit Loops?

    Maybe, you are a secret silver double Under-the-Cover Agent for “They” ??? ;)
    Debbie Dolphin’s last blog post..Message in a Bottle at Seguin Island Lighthouse

  34. Zubli Zainordin on March 2nd, 2008 9:08 pm

    Dear Bobby Revellian, my earlier comment did not go through eh? It is okay, I overshooted. Is it, either in Polliwog’s purse, hehehehehe, or it jumps out to Phoebe’s new birthday home at Mesra Marzie Marvelous Mariuca. LOL!!! Just kidding, girls. Well, Bobby Revellian, when I look at your avatar, and reread your post, *Rent Yourself A New Image*, I know you are a giver par excellence. So spicy. Proactively spicy, I might add. (I click, see if this one emerges, else I rest…Hehehehe!!!)

    Zubli Zainordin’s last blog post..Total Persistence

  35. Revellian on March 3rd, 2008 12:19 am

    Hi Lili, It’s really nice to see you! It’s very difficult for most people to have happiness especially in a world full of problems, but it is possible. Getting a visit from you has brought me a big smile :smile:

  36. Revellian on March 3rd, 2008 12:21 am

    Hi Marzie! Can I rent Phoebe for next weekend? Hehe…I bet she’s a lot of fun! :mrgreen:

  37. Revellian on March 3rd, 2008 12:25 am

    I know I sold a lot of liquor to cops when in that store. One time, I had three guys attempted to rob me and it took the police 45 minutes to get there. I learned not to depend on them :smile:

  38. Revellian on March 3rd, 2008 12:27 am

    Mad Dog is definitely knows no race as I had plenty of white people drinking it. I’ve had my share of Boone’s Farm too! :mrgreen:

  39. Revellian on March 3rd, 2008 12:29 am

    Haha…if only everyone knew that! I think wearing clothes is overrated anyway :shock:

  40. Revellian on March 3rd, 2008 12:34 am

    I want to start a purse rental business Paula! I bet those places make a killing, especially on late fees and repossessions. Could you imagine being a purse rental repo-man? That would be a dangerous job :shock: I’ll go check that site out to see what the discussion’s all about! :smile:

  41. Ian on March 3rd, 2008 5:20 am

    Wow, rent a purse. How vain and fake would you need to be to actually do that? And for what, as you say a guy’s not going to notice.

    Reminds me of the joke about how does a guy impress a chick? Takes her out to romantic dinners, buys flowers and chocolates, etc etc. How does a chick impress a guy? Show up naked.

    Ian’s last blog post..Bed made, now to lie in it

  42. Janice on March 3rd, 2008 9:45 am

    This is so ridiculous… first time I heard of renting a purse too. I would rather use a cheaper brand but still own the purse…. haha…. :)
    Janice’s last blog post..Prata with Ham

  43. Revellian on March 4th, 2008 4:25 am

    Hi Debbie! No…it’s because I am a fruit loop :mrgreen:

  44. Revellian on March 4th, 2008 4:28 am

    Ho Zubli, I guess Polli got it! I was born with a jalapeño pepper in my mouth :mrgreen:

  45. Revellian on March 4th, 2008 4:30 am

    I guess some people believe they walk on the red carpet when they eat at McDonalds! Thanks Ian :smile:

  46. Revellian on March 4th, 2008 4:32 am

    Hi Janice! If you buy a designer purse…you could rent it out while not using it…haha :mrgreen:

  47. Zubli Zainordin on March 4th, 2008 4:58 am

    Bobby Revellian, Ladies and Gentlemen, now I wanna rent a purse! :!: !!! Where can I rent one? Err, why? Well, :lol:
    Zubli Zainordin’s last blog post..! Mesra Marzie Marvelous Mariuca

  48. A little link love - Week 33 » Things By Mike on March 5th, 2008 9:02 am

    [...] Rent yourself a new image - Did you know you can rent designer handbags? I did not know this until reading this hilarious article from Bobby. [...]

  49. Revellian on March 5th, 2008 11:41 am

    I just so happen to rent them out Zubli…$250.00 per day, but I’ll need your credit card and five references :mrgreen:

  50. Aaron Cook on March 5th, 2008 2:14 pm

    Ha ha, thanks for that one, Bobby! :lol:
    Aaron Cook’s last blog post..Sample Website Privacy Policy You Can Use (AdSense-friendly)

  51. Revellian on March 5th, 2008 7:37 pm

    Haha…I’m glad you liked it Aaron! I’m here for all of your rental needs :mrgreen:

  52. Zubli Zainordin on March 5th, 2008 8:03 pm

    Hahahahahaha! Yes, Hahahahahahaha again!!! :lol: Now I know. Bobby Revellian, I have been looking for a business joint venture, just to keep me busi for 2008. Earlier I thought of asking Genie Princess if I can rub shoulder with her to do perfumerynizationness, for we can be merry together, with Phoebe too. Now, I can see and semell the ROI, dear purse. No wonder I now understand Polliwog. :wink: So ladies and gentlemen, *purse rent* anyone? Just $ 500 per day. :grin: Please produce credit card and ten references amongst the already purse rent lovers! :mrgreen:
    Zubli Zainordin’s last blog post..! Mesra Marzie Marvelous Mariuca

  53. Debbie Dolphin on March 8th, 2008 3:52 pm

    There is a secret Fruit Loop Ad here…. this Ad is so secret that Technorati Radar doesn’t see the Ad yet!

    Debbie Dolphin’s last blog post..Beavertail Lighthouse Open to Vandalism Again?

  54. Revellian on March 8th, 2008 4:11 pm

    Haha!!! :shock: Yes…I already saw it! I know who made it too :mrgreen:

  55. Paula on March 8th, 2008 6:12 pm

    Jagermeister!

    Paula’s last blog post..Women On The Rocks

  56. Revellian on March 8th, 2008 9:24 pm

    That’s right Zubli! I must protect my investments…these are designer products…haha :mrgreen:

  57. Dee on March 9th, 2008 1:28 pm

    Bobby I had to link to this in my last post. I have had my dressing down days at the office the results of which haven’t always been good.

    Dee’s last blog post..The Day I Wore Shorts To The Office

  58. Revellian on March 9th, 2008 4:35 pm

    Hi Dee! Thanks for the link. I have been fired for wearing the wrong attire…more than once…haha :mrgreen:

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