It never ceases to amaze me how companies make millions selling bogus products that do not work. In the early 70’s, a product called a solar clothes drier made a company millions upon millions. It consisted of a string and directions which read: Tie between two trees and hang your clothes on it while the sun is shining. Then you had that ridiculous million dollar idea, The Pet Rock, which was a stupid rock in a cardboard home. They made truckloads of cash.
Nowadays, one of the easiest ways to rip people off is selling them fraudulence in the area of “homeopathic” remedies. Just remember this, if it is labeled homeopathic, it doesn’t work. Homeopathic means it is modern day snake oil, or Corinthian leather. It means it contains nothing, or something in such small diluted amounts that it costs nothing to manufacture.
Here’s an example of what homeopathy is:
Salt causes you to retain water, which could be construed as a cure for dehydration by an evil marketer trying to sell you a bogus remedy. To make it into a magical remedy, you dilute the salt into water - not just once, but anywhere from a hundred to thousands of times. It becomes a sodium solution labeled “1000x”. The more times it’s diluted the more powerful it is…hahaha! Then, by harnessing imaginary resonant vibrations, it becomes a cure for water retention! That’s right, the opposite of what it normally did before it was diluted. If poison ivy makes you itch, then dilute poison ivy 1000x and it now cures the itch instead of causing it. It’s actually more complicated than that but you get the idea. In other words, it doesn’t work. It is a blatant marketing scam with extremely low overhead. One poison ivy leaf could make a million bottles of itch tonic.
Head On
The king of this type of product is one you may have seen advertised on TV called “Head On”, a waxy grease stick that you rub on your forehead to cure headaches. Please don’t waste your money on any of these deceptive products. On the other hand, the company who made this (Miralus Healthcare) are marketing geniuses. The words “head on” are repeated three times very loudly in a brainwashing fashion much like the word terrorism is repeated ad nauseam on the US daily news. This is an unforgettable commercial. Brainwashing is a fantastic marketing tool. It has been used successfully by people such as Adolf Hitler and president George W. Bush.
Miralus Healthcare made millions selling this fake Headache cure
My Ingenious Start up
To prey upon people’s fears of the supernatural, I want to market a special anti-ghost salt. Based on ancient folklore - salt has long been used to protect homes from ghosts, ghouls, demons and evil spirits. Just look at how many people bought a Ouija Board to contact spirits - an ingenious marketing plan indeed.
Unlike Kosher salt, Spirit Salt is blessed. $24.95 per box
I thought up a TV commercial for my product: Show a terrified little girl crying and shivering in fear. She screams, “Mommy, daddy, there’s a monster in my room. Please save me.”
The mom sprinkles “Spirit Salt” in her door way and window sill. The little girl goes to sleep with a smile on her face - protected from monsters. A priest pops up and says, “Don’t live in fear any longer. If you love your children, protect them from evil with Spirit Salt! Let your kids know you really care. Revellian’s Spirit Salt, don’t let the goblins get ya!”
You place it on the bottom shelves in grocery stores so frightened children will see it and beg. Make the parents feel guilty for not buying it. Also, the kids will think their parents don’t care about them if they don’t purchase it - pure brainwashing perfection. So, do I have a million dollar idea? I’m looking for investors, please contact me immediately if you have start up capital.
* The Head On picture is from Byrdhouse HeadOn: Apply Directly To The Forehead
* The Pet Rock picture is from Eikongraphica Why Sylvia Sucks
Ha I will have 2 boxes of spirit salt please
I have to say though my wife has some Headache stick thing, not sure if its head on but the same concept and she believes it works? Maybe its all in the head, lol.
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Hi Billy, that’ll be $49.90 + 10.00 S&H for two boxes. Would you like it gift wrapped for an additional $5.00? Haha!
Hola Bobby, how did ur EC fare at my site? Brought you any good clicks? I got quite a number of clicks from placing my EC here. Thanks!
Anyway, I have a tag for you, come and get it!
http://mariuca.blogspot.com/2008/04/boo-to-bad-service.html
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Yes Marzie, it brought me many good clicks, but also 17 bad clicks
hahaha! Ok I’ll come see 
You are a genius! And I think Tish could use your salt around her television! LOL
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Thanks Teeni! I am no genius; however, I believe just about anything could be a big seller with the right campaign, slick advertising and a little capital. The good ideas don’t always sell because of those very reasons. Yes, this would cure Tish’s haunted TV…haha
Ugh, I switch the channel whenever that Head On commercial comes on.
On Spirit Salt…Heehee…You could associate it with the Spiderwick Chronicles too. Then, in your AD, don’t forget to say “But wait! If you call in the next 10 minutes, we will give you an extra box for free! Yes! That’s two boxes of Spirit Salt for the price of one!”
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Hi Gypsy! Yep, If you can advertise on TV on HSN or QVC, you can sell matches to people in hell! How about those make millions by screwing people out of their homes in those late night ads? It’s hard to believe people fall for some of that stuff
Placebos have been around for years, and people still insist that they work (obviously they have no idea what a placebo is). My friend who is doctor always jokingly offers me a placebo whenever I mention I have a pain.
Hi Joe! Indeed, placebos are an extremely lucrative business venture. You make your cash and shut down before you get sued!
that’s evil and completely believable! 10 to 1 says that you see that soon on infomercials
i swear (to god lol!) that if I had 10,000 to invest in you, you’d have it. with a bit of clever marketing combined with the inevitable controversy it would cause, we could be rich rich rich!
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Hi Andy! With a product like this, 95% of the start up capital would be in television advertising. The product itself would cost literally nothing. I’d also like to sell holy water in designer glass bottles…hahaha
Ahahaha…that’s hilarious. I want a picture of Bush using that headache cure item.
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I don’t think George Bush is smart enough to understand the directions Haney
haha good one!
Reminds me of the time we saw this guy sitting at some corner selling little bottles of clear liquid, claiming that through constant application of that product, anyone can get great skin. We saw many women buying. In fact my friend got one too. When we got back to the hotel we found it was… rose water and she bought it at 10 times its normal price. *duh*
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Thanks Bobo! If people believe something works, then it will. They should learn to do that without buying anything!
Sorry to burst your bubble, but salt will never work. All it will do is get in the monster’s eyes and make them mad. And, it just annoys ghosts. Vampires, on the other hand, well, they have to stop and count the grains of salt, so you might have something there, although garlic would be the better, more lasting choice.
To get rid of ghosts and such, you need chalk. Draw a spiral maze and they’ll get drawn in and trapped inside. Alternatively, you can draw a closed circle around yourself, and they will not enter, although it makes getting to work a pain. Plain, ordinary white chalk will do, which I’ll sell you for the special wholesale price of $12.95 per stick of chalk plus $7.95 shipping and handling. Add $3 for priority shipping.
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I consulted with my spiritual guide and have determined that you are incorrect. The evil monsters will simply hop over the chalk line. My spirit salt will dehydrate them causing them to shrivel up and die - guaranteed
I channelled my spirit guide, and he told me that your spirit guide was the village idiot back in the old days, so you can’t really rely on any of his information. He also said that your spirit guide was known for making deals with the devil, so discouraging people from using chalk is just part of his demonic plan to keep possessing people and making them do crazy things.
On the other hand, there’s really no telling with these things, so maybe we should team up and sell the chalk and spirit salt as a combo pack. Why take chances when you’re dealing with the undead?
By the way, my spirit guide can beat up your spirit guide.
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This post cracked me up!!!!!!!!!
As you can tell by the name I used I’m in alternative medicine however, I’m the first to point out that most all medicine is placebo.
The BBC just did a show on homeopathics and showed that there were no differences.
I’ve studied a ton of wester, eastern, alternative, and just plain insane therapies. There are only a few things that actually do anything at all. People are so conditioned into believing that if they pop something into their mouths then it must be good for them.
Your health starts in your mind with your attitude and beliefs. Keep those in check and don’t buy into all the BS about what does what and you’ll be a 100x better off!
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I believe that smelling flowers cures all diseases…haha! I have achieved the placebo mind, where I cure myself without taking anything
Father Bob;)
This is one of my favorite posts I’ve read of yours. Too funny. I totally agree. Something I’ve said before is that homeopathic is Latin for DOES NOT WORK. I have to admit that someone gave me some Head On and I do use it occasionally when I have a headache, but not because it takes the headache away. It’s because it takes my mind off the headache. It feels like you’ve got a full-blown blizzard raging on your forehead.
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Thanks Robin! If you overuse head on, you will get pimples on your forehead. Then you can use the product, Zit Off.
I’m a fan of pet rocks, but refuse to pay for them when there are so many outside, begging to be given a home.
It’s great to hear from you “Wild Iris”, I haven’t heard hardly a peep lately! It is worth buying a pet rock as opposed to a wild one - they are potty trained and well behaved. They have also had their shots
Oh bobby!
I like this post!!
Eerm… You know that I am afraid of scary things…
Can you take my order for one carton of that Spirit Salt of Revellian?
Mine is an urgent order. Deliver today please
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Thanks Karen! I need the money BEFORE I send it to you…hahahaha! Please send it immediately and I will send you a fresh box
U got Lucky Dude! I hear that 30 Times not 3 every time that stoopid ad runs!! Almost as irritating as that catchy jingle the Geico Caveman had!!
I need some Ricardo Montalban Fine Corinthian Leather for my Personal Dominatrix of course!!
;PPP
I’m investigating a Spiritual Water ad i saw in USA Today - it’s gone MLM!!!!
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Hi Billy! I would love to sell spiritual holy water at high prices! That is an ingenious money making idea
Hello Bobby Wobby! It’s Friday here, which means it’s the weekend! Have a good one Bobby and hopefully u won’t have any more bizarre dates this weekend! But try to have fun if u do yeah? And then blog abt it for us to read he he!
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Hi Marzie! No, I have no date this weekend and I pray my next one is not bizarre - I don’t know if I could take it
Have a great weekend and pet Phoebe for me 