It’s been a while since I wrote a batch, where I give links to some deserving writers. I usually write this on Sundays but since I’m still a free citizen, I’ll do it whenever I wish. I wanted to have at least 10 links, but I’m far too tired. I will be back on schedule for doing this next Sunday and will have even more selected posts. I won Andy Bailey’s weekly contest and received my new iPod headphones…thanks Andy! Be sure to pay Andy a visit, and join in on his next contest. While you’re there, read some of his cool posts.
I am an Outcast
One thing I know about myself, since birth (yes, I remember being born – a horrifying experience), is that I never really fit in. I’m an outcast on so many levels. Put me and 99 other people in a room and I’ll be the one standing alone while everyone gathers in little groups of 4 or 5. I’m really terrible with meaningless small talk, and am perfectly content not being part of the crowd. I naturally gravitate towards blogging because I can say all those things I normally wouldn’t say in real life if you didn’t know me very well – trust me, I am a very difficult person to get to know.
While growing up, I always had a few friends, but never more than 2 or 3. Some people have hundreds of “friends” in their real lives, much like bloggers with 20,000 friends on Facebook or MySpace. I always hung out with other people who didn’t fit in because we had that in common. We were social rejects who refused to be part of all things normal. If everybody did something, I would make sure I didn’t. I approach blogging much the same way. When I first began blogging, I quickly learned how most just followed others, copied others and so forth. I used to have a vendetta against make money blogs, mostly because 99% of them are redundant, regurgitated, unoriginal, passionless, uninspired drivel – plagiarized from the “successful” ones. I personally don’t read any of the most popular blogs with 25,000+ subscribers. If you’ve read them once, there’s no reason to go back except for an occasional tidbit if needed. After a while, I gave up criticizing them – I have better thing to do. I just don’t read them – much like an offensively lame TV show – I just don’t watch it.
I’m such an outcast – even among my outcast friends – an outcast forming his own rebellion within a group of outcasts; a loner among loners. Reflecting on my teen years, I wonder: What’s a 15 year old kid, who practices guitar 10 hours per day and studies Zen, yoga and martial arts going to discuss with other kids who worry about their haircuts and what brand of shoes they wear? I remember as a seven year old boy, noticing how people grouped together and began their life long category of personhood. Are you a jock, geek, loser, dopehead or what? What category do you fall in? What group do you belong to? In college, I was faced with joining a fraternity, which I opposed with absolute disdain. Why would I join an exclusive group? What is exactly is an exclusive group? It’s doesn’t mean it’s a good or special group – it’s about exclusion. If you’re not in the group, you’re excluded from it. That’s why I despised those people who belonged. Well, I really didn’t dislike the people, just the idea of exclusivity. If I have to join a club to be your friend, then I will not be your friend. I don’t want to “fit in”. I prefer to think of people as individuals, not associated with a group of individuals. The blogosphere seems much like a high school where people are divided up into cliques – some snobbish, some friendly.
I know…I’m a cynical skeptic as well as an outcast. If you know me really well, I’m a goof who jokes sarcastically. If you don’t know me really well, I’m a quiet person. In my daily life, I listen much more than I speak. It’s amazing when you know people really well, who know nothing about you. I’m that guy at work everybody confides in and says nasty things about others to…oh my, the secrets I know. I guess that’s because I keep it all to myself, don’t tell anyone what they say and never add fuel to the fire – so they trust me.
I became interested in politics over the past few years and feel like such an outsider it’s ridiculous. I’ve come to the conclusion that the U.S. government is nothing more than a corrupted special interest group – I’m so disgusted I cannot take it anymore. We are supposed to choose where we fit in: conservative or liberal; I don’t fit in either group and never will. That’s how I feel about the Internet – I really don’t fit in anywhere; thus, I fit in everywhere. It’s quite lonely to be an individual these days. Now for this week’s links:
Wandering through BlogExplosion, MyBlogLog, and EntreCard – from Aldon Hynes of the Orient Lounge is a very interesting post (among many). I wrote the main part of this batch #15 last week and was surprised when I read Aldon’s post – the premise is quite similar, though mine is probably more negative. I know exactly how he feels. Make sure you read this very insightful article.
Retribution – from Why Paisley. This post pissed me off because her hosting service changed her domain name (the removal of the dash between why and paisley) and gave her no options. I suppose it could happen to anyone. She lost all her page rank and as far as I know, the change prevents her from doing a 301 redirect because she can no longer access the old domain. If she had psychic powers, she could have preemptively redirected before all this happened – but that’s a little much for any host to ask for. Because she is such a brilliant writer, it really bothered me to see this happen. Please read her great article and fix any links you have to her.
Facing Faults and Fears – My long time friend Becca aka Wonder Woman wrote a this great article about how caring and helping others can often keep you from taking care of yourself. It’s a quite wonderful and somber sentiment I strongly relate to.
Congress Wants to Make It Easier for People to Steal Your Content – From Dan at DCR Blogs. Here we go again with congress protecting criminals. I am all about political activism and this is very important for every American to do. Check out this article.
Hide and Seek – My friend J.C. from the blog Jasmin’s Heart has a guest writer, Jim Murdoch, who authored this post. It is a brilliant look into creativity and poetry – I found it very inspiring.
The Adventures of Marie Cambridge – Story Game 4 – I was fortunate enough to be invited by Teeni to participate in her cool writing project where several writers get to add a paragraph (my contribution is the 3rd from the top). Where else but the blogosphere would I get to hang out with an army of vegan women?



#1 by Genie Princess at June 3rd, 2008
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Hola Bobby! You’ll never be an outcast at m my blog! Thanks for stopping by MPG today.
Genie Princess’s last blog post..RHD Entrecard Bookmark List – Get It Here!
#2 by paisley at June 3rd, 2008
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just to clarify, they didn’t change my domain name,, they refused to allow me to renew it or transfer it to my current host saying it had been put into “retribution” since i no longer had an account with them.. (in other words,, if i would pay them for a years worth of hosting they would let me have my domain name back) thus i had to buy a new one, whypaisley.com and start over as it were.. i am happy to report that despite the page rank and all of that,, i have not suffered any loss of readership (as i waged an all out notification campaign that took me like two days!!!) and i am working with the techs at my current host to rectify the image loss problem… thanks for brining this information to the for.. this was really a fiasco,, an unavoidable mishap propagated by a terrible hosting service by the name of hostgator….
paisley’s last blog post..scar tissue
#3 by dcr at June 3rd, 2008
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When I was in school, many of my friends were parts of different groups. I never really fit in with any particular group. There were maybe temporary groupings, at best, which would change with the school year, whereas other people would be in the same group year after year.
I could have sworn that if you would have put all of my friends in the same room together, they would have probably ended up killing each other. Maybe not literally, of course, but you get the idea.
I hardly every got into trouble, yet many of my friends were the troublemakers. I remember once, in grade school, we attended some concert for something somewhere, and I sat at the end of the row, listening intently and not behaving badly at all. Meanwhile, my friends in the row goofed off much of the time. After everything was done and we started to leave, a teacher (maybe from a different class or a different school) yelled at us all, because we were the worst behaved bunch she had ever seen.
My friends were quite upset. Not that she said that about them, but that she had said that to me too, when they knew that I hadn’t done anything.
But, anyway, I digress… Thanks for the link!
dcr’s last blog post..Additions to the Blogroll
#4 by teeni at June 3rd, 2008
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Wow! Someone commented on my latest post that I was the most inclusive and welcoming blogger in blogworld and so I was actually thinking a lot about this same subject myself today. My thoughts were that I have been on the outside looking in myself plenty of times. Like you, I was part of the outcast group – the group that belongs to no other group. Today I still feel that way most times. I’m not a mom, I’m not active in any religion, I am not even a real vegan or vegetarian – I’m only a “vague”tarian. So maybe that is why at my tea room blog I am so welcoming and want to include everyone. I don’t think anyone should have to feel like an outcast everywhere. So, no matter what you eat, what you believe, what you do for a living, what you look like, you should be able to congregate at the tea room for some social activities, socializing, and friendship. The only rules are to be kind and respect each other. I think I’m gonna copy and past some of this comment in response to that comment on my blog – save myself some typing, LOL. But anyway, it’s funny that you posted this today. And because of your kindness and obvious respect for others, Bobby, you are always welcome and never pressured by me, your fellow outcast. Hugs to you.
teeni’s last blog post..What the World Needs Now
#5 by Christy at June 3rd, 2008
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Bobby you’re not an outcast you’re just an introvert! See people think introverts hate people and are shy, but really introverts just enjoy being alone or with very close friends or family, not with tons of people. I know an introvert when I see one because I am one! We are the misunderstood because we don’t like standing in those little groups at parties.
At least you don’t have to live with a bunch of extroverts! Then you’d feel like even more of an outcast!
Christy’s last blog post..Zac Efron Wins at MTV Movie Awards
#6 by Lynda Lehmann at June 3rd, 2008
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WOW, Bobby, you have blown me away with this post. (Shinade sent me over.) Not just your personal revelation of who you are or think you are, but with the flow of your writing and seeming honesty. (Since I don’t know you, I have to go by my intuition.)
You have echoed so many of my own sentiments and frustrations, I may have to write a post about how I perceive the world.
Anyway, I’m so glad to discover your blog and will subscribe and be back for more.
Lynda Lehmann’s last blog post..Irises to Honor Our Blogging Community
#7 by Shinade at June 3rd, 2008
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Hi Bobby,
I can’t say it much better than Christy did. I suppose that is why I am at this computer most of the time myself. Both Walter and I both prefer to be alone. Thus he is a long haul driver.
Yet he like you can also be very outgoing at times, social, and quite funny. For me it is much harder when I am not in my virtual world.
I too have been a loner most of my life. I learned early how to hide it with a big smile. But one of the wonderful things about aging is that I no longer have a need to hide this fact.
I am what I am. And, I too often am on the least “so called” popular side of an issue. And I detest defining people or labelling people based on any reason. But, I think you already know that about me. At least I hope you do!!
Shinade’s last blog post..California The Golden State
#8 by Speedcat at June 3rd, 2008
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You always pick some super posts … I am going to fire one up
Special interest groups SUCK!!!!!! (in government)
Speedcat’s last blog post..Major Craze in Minnesota keeps St Paul on the Map
#9 by BillyWarhol at June 3rd, 2008
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Hey thx fer yer EC Ad Dude!! I feel I’m no longer an OutKast!! Hey Yaaaaaa!!
Just watched No Country for Old Men tonight + There Will Be Blood the other night – Both Awesome Flicks – Highly recommended*
BillyWarhol’s last blog post..BUBS SKY 087
#10 by Lynda Lehmann at June 4th, 2008
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Bobby, I’m glad blogging is therapy for you. I think it serves that pupose for all of us, and I agree with you that we may be communicating more in our virtual world than we do in our real-time neighborhoods. So often our exchanges with neighbors and casual friends is superficial, if not almost scripted.
Like you and Jackie, I am pretty much of a loner. I do see my friends, but it’s not a constant thing–I guard my solitude because it’s when I feel most at peace with myself and the universe, and when I create.
Here on the b-sphere, we really DO express ourselves and exchange a lot of information and ideas! I think it’s great, except the “being-an-addict” part! You should see the shape my house is in, lol….
Oh well, I never WAS one for excessive cleaning!
Lynda Lehmann’s last blog post..Irises to Honor Our Blogging Community
#11 by waterlearner at June 4th, 2008
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You are no outcast! You are just uniquely you!
Each and everyone of us are unique in our own way.
waterlearner’s last blog post..Eavesdropping
#12 by Revellian at June 3rd, 2008
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Thanks Marzie, you are one of a kind super nice – I wish everyone was like that!!!
#13 by Revellian at June 3rd, 2008
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I misunderstood exactly what happened, but sometimes I get mad first and think later…hahaha! Still, it’s really ridiculous they wouldn’t let you transfer your domain. They are being greedy assholes for no real reason. If you had set up your new domain before your old one expired, you could have redirected before losing the domain. I thought hostgator was supposed to be really good, but they are apparently not!!! It’s awesome how this is just a minor thing for you…I will remember that in case something similar happens to me. Thanks Jodi
#14 by Revellian at June 3rd, 2008
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Hi Dan…I know exactly what you mean. I too had friends in other groups, but I was not affiliated with those groups. Some of my friends were my friends when I was alone with them – in a big group, they wouldn’t even look at me. But I was a trouble maker who got in a lot of fights. I did make good grades but was quite a little punk with a very nasty, ultra-sarcastic attitude. In retrospect, it’s quite embarrassing…hahahaha
#15 by Revellian at June 3rd, 2008
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Hi Teeni! I’ve been told the same thing by many fellow bloggers, it’s so cool you mentioned how inclusive and welcoming you make people feel. In my daily life, I am very friendly, but I would rather hop into a deep conversation with a stranger than exchange pleasantries for an hour. I can be really outgoing if I’m in the mood, but usually I’m quiet. That’s what I like about blogging, you can skip all the bull required in real life and just talk about anything – having people actually listen. A big part of my problem is where I live. I live in an EXTREMELY Christian area, where people do not take kindly to non-Christians. Sometimes I lie and say I am just to avoid being scolded by people. I’m seriously thinking about moving but can’t afford to right now. I think the word “individual” is more fitting than “outcast” and describes us more appropriately
#16 by Revellian at June 3rd, 2008
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Hi Christy! Well I am an introvert and ultra-introspective, but I am not shy. If I’m in the mood, I can be an extrovert and am good at public speaking for some reason. While working as a bartender, I was extremely outgoing and had endless small talk chat all day – but I had to because it was part of my job. My true nature is being an introvert. If I’m at a party, I will look for others standing alone and talk to them – a great conversation always follows. Isn’t that weird? Hahaha! It’s nice to know another introvert
#17 by Revellian at June 3rd, 2008
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Hi Lynda, it’s really nice to meet you! You are a friend of Jackie? She is a wonderful person and positive force isn’t she
I appreciate your kind words, and I would love to read about how you see yourself. This post is really kind of a therapy for me, to get over some of my problems and hear what others have to say. Have a great day!
#18 by Revellian at June 3rd, 2008
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Hi Jackie! That’s what is so great about blogging. I think some people take on a character persona on line, maybe to escape from reality – I don’t. I really can be myself here and even more so than in everyday life. I feel like I can really open up and talk to people. In real life, you may not always get to talk deeply with people. Here, you can do it all the time. The truth is, our digital lives, are becoming just as real as our everyday lives – it’s where the human race is headed and technology will only make it better. It blows my mind to think about how much the Internet has changed over the past 3 years, it is unbelievable. The whole of all human knowledge at everyone’s fingertips.
And yes…I do know that about you and respect you in the highest regard! Have a great day
#19 by Revellian at June 5th, 2008
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Hi Speedy! I want to know how to get in some of that special interest money. I think we may change our views if we could profit directly…haha
#20 by Revellian at June 5th, 2008
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Hi Billy! I haven’t seen either of those movies, but am looking forward to getting an illegally obtained pirate copy as soon as I find high quality ones…haha
#21 by Revellian at June 5th, 2008
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Hi Lynda! Blogging helps us become better communicators and it’s actually helped my skills in everyday life. I have a lot of trust issues with people and I’m trying to get over them. While other people in life can let you down (which is only natural and you shouldn’t hold grudges), you should never let yourself down because you are the only person you have control over. I’m applying these principles in my life. Have a great day
#22 by Revellian at June 5th, 2008
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Hi Karen! Thanks so much for your positive explanation! I like your point of view
#23 by Lynda Lehmann at June 5th, 2008
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You know, Bobby, I have struggled with that a lot–being let down by people. I fight the feeling every day. Sadly, we are essentially born alone, and even with people all around, move through life feeling often, alone. I think this is God’s way of telling us we have to take full responsibilyt for our own lives, and become the matrix of our own expereince. We have to MAKE our experience.
If I want friendship, for instance, I try to initiate it. So many people never get to the point that they realize the need to do this. Instead, they just go on feeling victimized.
When I feel down, I just push myself past it, no matter how hard it is.
Lynda Lehmann’s last blog post..Serendipity: The Unexpected Beauty of Peach-Colored Irises and Pink Peonies
#24 by Revellian at June 7th, 2008
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Hi Lynda
, it’s tough to decide when a let down is really bad enough to end a friendship. I think most people let others down, but none of us are perfect. I’ve known people who end friendships over minor let downs and then hold irrational grudges. To me, unless someone does something really serious (I do mean serious). then I don’t let it cause a problem. When we expect too much from others we are in for disappointment.