Is Kissing Safe?
We’ve all experienced the dating milestone of first kiss (known as first base in some circles), which is something most people think of as completely safe. In today’s world of diseases like herpes, is kissing safe? This is a subject most people know nothing about, nor care to.
We all know that diseases like AIDS, gonorrhea, syphilis and others are spread through having unprotected sex. What about an unprotected kiss? I know many men and women who date dozens of people at a time and kiss people on the first date all the time without any worries. Most of us don’t want to request a complete disease screening before we date every person we meet - it would be rude, or would it?
is kissing safe
Let’s consider:
I’m on a date, and a girl asks, “Can I kiss you?” (who asks nowadays?)
I reply, “Hold on a second woman…I’m not just a piece of meat. Do you have an updated certification stating you’re free of STD’s (sexually transmitted diseases) with you? Is it current?”
Her face turns red, she becomes disgusted and says, “Take me home loser. You just killed any romance that could ever exist between us. You suck.”
I go home alone and lose her forever…ouch.
The Kiss That Keeps On Giving
Yes, it seems it would take all spontaneity out of the equation and ruin the natural vibe of attraction. The reason I’m writing this is because I know someone who got that one nightmare kiss, which has changed his life for the worse…forever. He kissed a pretty woman he had just met. She had no signs of anything out of the ordinary. She had good hygiene and seemed completely normal. He did not have sex with her, all he did was kiss her.
Soon after, he got huge sores on his lips and a painful, splotchy red rash all over his body. He went to the doctor and was diagnosed with Orofacial Herpes (herpes simplex 1) and Herpes Gladiatorum (a variation of herpes simplex-1 known as wrestlers herpes or mat herpes, which is common among wrestlers). He had a difficult time getting in touch with the woman, but finally did. She was shocked, saying she had never had any breakouts in her entire life and that he must have been infected by someone else. She was actually concerned and caring enough to get tested. It turns out she does have the virus, and is unknowingly spreading it around. Some people never get an actual outbreak, but can still be a carrier and spread it.
What if Barack Obama or John McCain have herpes simplex? That would scare the hell out of parents who let them kiss their babies (and they’ve kissed a lot of them. I’d be more worried about Bill Clinton)! What a way to start life, already having the virus. Don’t let every stranger kiss your baby. It’s also quite common for a parent to infect a baby and never even know it.
How scary is that? There is no cure for herpes, and once you get it, you have it forever. While there are antiviral drugs that can suppress it, it doesn’t go away. It is up to each and every one of us to get tested and to not assume we don’t have it. This case is not a freak incident, it happens all the time all over the world. Did you know that 1 in 5 people have genital herpes? In many countries the ratio is much higher. There are very high odds that any of us could get it.
Important Facts About Herpes
Most of us have heard about herpes simplex-1 (also known as cold sores, which appear on the lips). Many people have this virus, but don’t really know anything about it. We all know what genital herpes is, but we don’t associate genital herpes with oral herpes. Here are some frightening facts everyone should know:
- You can spread genital herpes when you don’t have any symptoms.
Fact. Genital herpes can be spread to a sex partner even when you have no symptoms. This is how most new cases of genital herpes are spread. - A person can have genital herpes and not even know it.
Fact. The genital herpes virus can be active in a person’s body even though they have no symptoms. That’s why out of the 50 million Americans who have genital herpes, 90% don’t even realize they are infected with the virus and may unknowingly infect others. - You can spread genital herpes to other parts of your body.
Fact. If you touch a genital herpes sore and then touch another part of your body, you can potentially spread the virus. Avoid contact with sores, and if you touch a sore, wash your hands with soap immediately. - Cold sores are just a lip infection and are not associated with herpes.
Myth. Cold sores are generally caused by herpes simplex virus type 1. This virus can also cause an initial outbreak of genital herpes if you have oral sex with someone who has a cold sore. - You can’t get genital herpes from oral sex.
Myth. Most type 1 genital herpes is caused by unprotected oral sex. The type 1 herpes virus can be spread through oral sex—what was a cold sore on your partner may develop as genital herpes on you. It is important to use barrier protection such as latex condoms during oral sex. (Please see your doctor for alternative barrier methods if you’re allergic to latex.) - If you have been with your partner for several years and just found out that you have genital herpes, your partner must be cheating on you.
Myth. The fact that your partner has been diagnosed with genital herpes does not necessarily mean he or she has been unfaithful to you. Genital herpes outbreaks can occur with very mild symptoms that go unnoticed. You or your partner may have contracted the disease from a sexual partner a long time ago or your partner may have genital herpes without knowing it. You may want to consider having an open, honest conversation with your partner about your diagnosis without making any assumptions - The only people who get genital herpes are those who have had many sexual partners.
Myth. Genital herpes is very common. As many as 1 in 5 American adults have genital herpes. Because of this, you can get genital herpes even if you’ve had only one or two sexual partners. However, your risk of getting a sexually transmitted disease like herpes increases with the number of sexual partners you’ve had in your life.
Facts reprinted with permission from: Myths and Facts About Genital Herpes.
After seeing what happened to someone I actually know, it really got to me. He looked so horrible and had a severe outbreak. It’s a great idea for everyone to get tested (go to your local health department for the test, it’s much less expensive than your family doctor). Don’t just assume that because some person is attractive and looks normal, that they don’t have it. If someone really cares about you and you care about them, it shouldn’t be taboo to both get tested. It’s a really good idea. Here’s to your health!
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Bobby, thanks for the early Saturday sex ed he he! Have a great weekend to you!
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Haha! There’s nothing better on a Saturday morning is there? Have a great weekend too Marzie
Lol awesome post if maybe a tad heavy for a Friday evening.
Anyhow good read and have a good weekend
Thanks Gavin! I think most people should read this post while on their first date…haha
Whoa… thanks Bobby for the warning.
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That’s just scary and awkward! I have enough relationship issues without adding fear of kissing!
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Hi Bobby, this is an extremely useful post and a good reminder. But I wish that we could be so rational in life, sometimes it may look like a mission impossible. Also, I have a small kid who is so cute an funny and everybody wants to kiss him, I will change my attitude towards that matter, thanks a lot for writing this.
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This is one of the reason why I am married. Don’t even want to think about this.
Getting kissed by Bill Clinton…now that is scary.
The Masked Millionaire
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Hi Bobo! Regardless, none of us can live life happily without taking risks
I know what you mean Joh! After seeing my friend, it really scared me
Thanks J.C.
, no matter what, it’s not healthy to take this stuff to a phobia level, it would make life even more difficult!
Haha! I’d like to see the statistics of Bill Clinton’s kiss recipients!
And you said handshaking was bad… Now this…
Anyway, it should also be pointed out that cold sores and canker sores are not the same thing. Cold sores are caused by the herpes virus while canker sores are not. Cold sores are usually outside the mouth while canker sores are inside.
Of course, if you’re not sure whether you’re suffering cold sores or canker sores, it’s probably best to ask your doctor rather than risk spreading herpes.
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A LOT of adults have oral herpes, even if they don’t know it or never show symptoms. Those who do get symptoms are in denial and pass it off as a menial “cold sore.” I have oral herpes, which I got when I was very young by drinking from a public drinking fountain. Kissing and oral sex isn’t the only way to spread herpes.
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You should write an article about canker sores with lots of gruesome pictures - dreadful stories of canker sore nightmares and hot pepper sauce…ouch
Those who are educated know not to participate in oral sex if you have the cold sores/herpes, and same if you have genital herpes. No excuse these days, there is plenty of education out there and to not become learned of the facts is irresponsible and plain ignorance. Pity more didn’t give thought to their own sexual responsibility instead of blaming others. Not meaning your friend either Bobby.
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Hi Arwen, that’s why as adults, we should be open and honest with our partners. If you love someone, it won’t matter
Hi Nunyaa, it can happen to anyone, no matter how careful they are. All we can do is be careful and honest, but even then, the chances of getting it are high!
Hi J.C. & Bobby- actually it is really really not a good idea to let children be kissed a lot. Ask your pediatrician- they know. Most children with hepes simplex have contracted it not from water fountains or molesters, they got it from say a well-meaning Aunt or Uncle. You know the Aunt with the hairy lip who likes to kiss everyone- well don’t let her… I know I am making it sound funny- but most children do get herpes from kissing relatives. After kisses from relatives- children get it most from sharing things such as the passed about Pepsi can or sharing cutlery- that sort of thing.
It is a far worse problem for children to get herpes then adults. We (adults) can talk about and be responsible to our partners. We can do things to prevent others from getting it. Children aren’t as hygienic (I know I have 5) and children could spread it to others or themselves more readily . What I mean by spreading to themselves is moving it from the mouth to say the eye as in herpes simplex keratitis. Herpes is bad enough on a persons lips or their junk, but in the eye! YOUCH! I was at the clinic getting shots for one of my children and there was a baby with severe herpes on their face, crying and in pain. I am sure it is uncomfortable- don’t know I don’t have the pleasure of ever even having a cold sore. knock on wood!
So JC - yeah keep your son from being kissed- we keep our kids out of the kissing loop.
I agree Michelle, but kids do need to get dirty, and get exposed to many bacteria…it builds their immune systems. A friend of mine has a daughter who was kept so clean and unexposed, that when she became a teen she was so sickly she missed school weeks at a time and colds lasted for months rather than days.
When I was a kid, I ate dirt, licked telephones and crammed whatever up my nose. As an adult…I never get sick. I haven’t had a cold in decades. Having said that, herpes is a virus and is not good to be exposed to at any age.
I have known many people who said they always had cold sores, as far back as they could remember. What that means is they were probably infected by a relative kissing them as a baby.