Guerrilla Marijuana Farming - My Field Busted!
I’ve been through some sticky situations in my life and have made some serious errors in judgment. I was around 22 years old and partying like a fool when a friend and I decided to grow marijuana. My friend’s name is Roy, but I will not reveal his last name as he probably wants no association with this article. All I can say is we were like dumb and dumber, though we had a lot of fun - what I can remember of it.
Our first attempt to grow pot went great. We read all the best books, which we ordered from the pinnacle of intelligence, High Times Magazine. I became a guerrilla farming expert in about a month. I could identify a magnesium deficiency at a glance and was an expert on parasites. I even mixed up my own natural bug repellent to spray on the plants so our product contained no insecticides. From that experience, I gained the knowledge to grow any plant, from vegetable to trees. I have a strong background in chemistry, so that knowledge came in handy for testing soil and so forth.
We grew 100 plants in a friend’s shed using fluorescent lights. It looked like a blossoming indoor jungle of wondrous evergreen. The plants had just begun to flower (we switched from 24 hours of light down to 12 hours, which causes the plants to produce buds) when they were stolen by someone. We were heartbroken as our hopes for heaps of illegally earned cash went down the toilet.
The Guerrilla Farm
We were fans of positive thinking and didn’t let our loss get us down. Like champions of the underworld, we regrouped and decided to grow a gigantic field of weed - possibly the dumbest idea I’ve ever had. When you’re smoking like a chimney, your brain doesn’t work right.
We limed a field out in the woods to get the soil to a neutral Ph as preparation in the winter. When spring came, we started our crop. We had over 100 large plants - roughly half were cannabis sativa and half cannabis indica - all female sensimilla. We smoked lots of pot during our illegal escapades to get our heads right. We were two punks into conquering our dreams while really high - not a good mix.
In August of an undisclosed year, in an undisclosed location, our plants were gargantuan. Some sativas were over six feet tall, while the indicas were short and robust. We thought we were smart this second round of growing. Nobody knew what we were up to because of what happened during our first attempt - we didn’t trust anyone. The plants were mixed in with other local vegetation to disguise them and were not in rows. If you didn’t know exactly what a marijuana plant looked like, you would have never seen them.
The mistake we made was not having the field deeply in the woods. My friend Roy usually drove and simply dropped me off on a country road - I would run into the brush with a backpack filled with plant food, natural insecticide and water. I am really skilled at identifying tracks (animal tracks, human footprints), and in four months, no one had been out there but me.
I estimated we would harvest around 100 lbs (45 kg) of sticky bud. We planned on selling it in small amounts to maximize profits. We could almost smell the cash, but mostly smelled a big joint.
Our Downfall
One afternoon, we stopped at a local grocery store to buy plant food. As we walked out, we noticed a local newspaper in the newsstand. It had the following headlines, “Pot Field Busted.” We stood there in a stoned daze, almost afraid to get a copy. It was our field that was busted. The report said they had no idea who was responsible, but the crop’s estimated street value was between 120,000 - 180,000 dollars!
As disappointed as we were at losing our crop and dreams of free money, we were happy to avoid a prison sentence. Both of us would have definitely received 5-8 year sentences. Neither of us ever tried to grow pot again. I eventually quit all drugs, drinking and cigarettes and am glad I did. No matter what you think, it’s a scientific fact that drinking alcohol is worse than smoking pot; however, it is illegal. Check out my post about the hypocrisy of alcohol versus drugs, it’s a fascinating subject.
It’s so amazing that both attempts to grow pot were foiled, but it taught me a lesson and kept me out of jail. To this very day, it’s hard to believe we didn’t get caught. We were on our way out there to nurture our plants! Thank God we saw that newspaper because they had an active road block where our field was located. I still hear the maddening metallic echoes of handcuffs snapping closed. I could care less if you think of me in a different light after writing this, I just had to share this with you.
- The picture is from Wikipedia: Cannibis
- I do not condone the use of alcohol or drugs - they are very bad for you
- Don’t make the same mistake I made
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Oh my gosh, that might have just made my morning! I can’t say that you didn’t deserve your pot being take from you, but the fact that you were busted by the authorities…. WOW!
Just goes to show that you need to have a more secret and secure location next time you want to do something illegal
Thanks Lawyer Guide, I’m glad you enjoyed it. After a thorough inspection of your site, I have determined that it is a madlib scraper site - thus I removed the link. Since you actually read my post, I will allow the comment
This was a very brave post, I really enjoyed it. I had been through something similar, back in my younger days but never actually tried to plant or grow the pot. I had the friends trying to do that but they got cough. Because the laws back then were not so strict as they are now - my friends got away without a bruise. They were lucky after all. O gosh that period of life was fun! Great post Bobby.
J.C.s last blog post..And the Winner is…
The crazy things young people do…I still can’t believe I actually did that, it was not very smart! It’s good how it worked out though. Had we succeeded in growing it, we may have gotten in even more trouble trying to sell the stuff. No matter what, I am thankful that we failed! Thanks J.C.
hehehehehehe…
No different light shining from my perspective Bobby.
Reminds me of a story…
In my younger days, there were some large quarries we used to go to and fish. You really needed an off road type vehicle to get to them otherwise risk damage to your vehicle.
One afternoon I decided to take my Enduro out there instead of riding with the rest of the group. Figured I do some exploring. Fishing was slow so a few of group decided to go swimming and I took off exploring. I hadn’t gone far when my eyes turned as big as saucers.
“Is that what I think it is?”
Raced back to get the others and hustle them off to my discovery… giant marijuana plants growing all over the place. We hit the jackpot… or so we thought.
What we found wasn’t someones “farm” but the site of an old rope factory and a whole lot of “ditch weed”.
FTR… I do not condone the use of illegal drugs either.
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Wow — pretty interesting post!
At least you learned a good lesson!
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ALAKAZAM!!! The genies are back, and this time, we have the Magic Lamp of Luck for you!
Was this the early 90’s? Maybe your field story was the source of the rumors in my area. Rumor was that there was a marijuana field in the local park, way back in the areas no one ever goes.
Two of my neighbors and I went looking for these rumored fields one time, mainly at the insistence of the one neighbor. Two of us would have reported it if we found anything.
There was nothing. There wasn’t even anything that could reasonably be mistaken for a marijuana plant. I suppose if you were already high, there were a great many plants that could be mistaken for marijuana. But, otherwise, nothing.
And, in all the years since then, I’ve never heard of a marijuana bust where people were growing marijuana out in the park. Of course, these days the park is much more crowded, so it’s less likely anyone could get away with it now.
Of course, now that I’ve said that, tomorrow I’l probably hear about some guy getting busted who’s been growing marijuana in the park for the last thirty years!
dcrs last blog post..Blogging for Money? Dont Quit Too Soon!
Thanks Dave, If I ever happened up on someone’s field, I would leave immediately. Guerrilla farmers are known to set mantraps and carry guns - I didn’t of course, but some do. I tend to stay out of the woods nowadays…hahaha
Thanks Jenna, would you like to rent my car?
Oh yeah? I’ll come check it out Marzie
Haha…I have no idea what year it happened
Most people grow it indoors these days. I grew mine about 60 miles from the nearest home in the middle of nowhere. Apparently, a few hunters spotted it and called the police. I used to be an uncouth ruffian, but now am clean cut and straight. If I ever find someone’s pot, I’ll call the cops myself.
You never know what’s going on in that park, maybe you should give it another thorough walk through
Oh yeah…check out the adsense ads on this post! I mentioned herpes a few posts ago and there’s been nothing but herpes ads in my side bar. I hope I don’t have pot ads in my side bar all week!!!
You probably will have marijuana ads the rest of the week.
I haven’t been in the backwoods of the park in years. Last time I did, they were marking trees with identifying signs, building wooden rails and walkways on the paths–all that takes the adventure out of it. Sanitized nature, I guess.
dcrs last blog post..Blogging for Money? Dont Quit Too Soon!
Oh geez Bobby and just when I updated and added you to my blogroll
It’s good of you to tell people not to go looking for pot fields- the notion that friendly old hippies that share are out there farming it and supplying is not true. You can easily get killed by dope farmers- I imagine the trade is as violent as any drug. So I don’t want to use anything that had someone getting killed for me to use. I certainly don’t want someone else’s blood in my bong… that’s why I just smoke bacon.
I don’t smoke, drink, or do drugs… been there- done it and it wasn’t fun. My Dad died from complications of drugs and alcohol at 56. He had a lot of problems. I am not particularly down on pot, but let me ask you this-
Have you ever known any long term pot smokers that were brilliant or even a bit smart? They are all fry brains and you don’t get it back. I am talking a decade or two of use. That’s what is so scary about pot- the wasted potential. I have known a lot pf pot heads that were just plain ‘insane in the membrane’ and it was sad. You have to protect your brain cells- they don’t grow on trees.
There’s actually new data on maryjane usage that shows, that potheads have higher incidence of schizophrenia. Interestingly enough I know someone with schizophrenia who is a pot head and I have to wonder, if they just quit if they would find some relief from their symptoms? Even the Dutch are seriously thinking about repealing their laws regarding pot usage.
I value what little brain I have left to monkey around with smoking dope.
I loved your herpes adsense- “find pictures of genital herpes”. Augh blarg- no thanks.
Isn’t it amazing that any of us got to this point at all in our lives without being hit for all the stupid stuff we did in our youth? Great post man!
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hehehehhe…
My adventures into the “woods” these days are for fishing or picking morrell mushrooms. Your point however, is a real concern now days. Wasn’t so much of a concern back then, at least in our area.
One property I visit , have to remember to wear bright orange so the hunters don’t get confused.
DaveSs last blog post..Our Lady of Guadalupe
drat… forgot to ask…
Out of curiosity, are you a gardener now Bobby?
DaveSs last blog post..Our Lady of Guadalupe
Hahaha…did I lose my blogroll spot?
Oh I agree that pot along with all drugs are bad for your health, especially for your brain. I will point out that many drug users suffer memory problems and such because of brain inactivity - like getting high and watching TV for hours. I’ve read studies where people who didn’t even use drugs gained Alzheimer’s symptoms from simply never thinking.
I’m pretty much a nerdy type of person and my friends were too. I did drugs so I could study even more. Me and my friends would do stuff like learn a new language, or work on Linux operating system kernels when we got high - we never really partied for the sake of partying. I outgrew all drugs…I think it’s because I just grew up. I got tired of it and jail didn’t sound like fun to me.
I have 19 friends who died from drugs (not close friends, but people I grew up with), mostly from alcohol and cocaine. The thing is, alcohol isn’t considered a drug when it should be. I think it’s hypocritical to have alcohol and tobacco legal and pot illegal. The same people who condemn pot, are the same people chugging down scotch and smoking cigars - it’s the pot calling the kettle black (pun intended…haha). It’s like saying rape isn’t rape if you love your victim!
Hello Bush! It’s great to see you buddy
I made some big mistakes but turned out sane and in one piece. I’ve always felt like I had an angel looking over me - saving me at just the right time. I should be dead, but am happily alive! I really appreciate life like I never have before 
I occasionally grow vegetables and fruit. I really love garden fresh cantaloupes and tomatoes!
lolxxx I got a high just reading through your post
Reminds me so much of that Leonardo movie… (red beach, the beach, hot beach, grass beach… something like that).
I’m sure glad you came out of it. Because I know so many people who got into other “stuff” once they experimented on weed. They never stop once they start. Me and my buddied too tried to grow one back in college and we never saw a single seed sprout
But it was a very interesting time-pass just hanging around with the guys on a slow saturday & sunday afternoon guzzling beer and trying to observe the plant “grow” while talking about “guys’ stuff” 
Seriously that plant that never saw daylight eventually, really bonded our gang of friends closer!
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Haha! Thanks Sandman
I think some people are highly predisposed to being an addict. Pot is often cited as a “gateway drug”, but so is alcohol. In highschool, most kids start off drinking beer and smoking pot - some outgrow it, others become lifelong addicts. It’s best to never try any of it in my opinion. Also, it seems like people addicted to prescription medications are somehow not seen in the same negative light as other types of addicts…it really baffles me.
The movie you’re thinking of is called, “Bong Beach”
Wow - I’m so glad your angel was looking out for you that day. I’m sure glad you don’t do drugs/cigarettes or alcohol anymore though. No sense wasting that wonderful mind of yours.
Plus, we may never have met if you had taken a different course.
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I have to throw a little humorous light on what happened! However, it was extremely serious and I could’ve gotten in a ton of trouble. I was a little afraid that people would judge me or think of me negatively, but the point is to not do what I did. Lot’s of young people do the same thing and many get caught. All drugs are bad and I am happily drug free…YAY!!!!!
this article has been stumbledupon and dugg. Enjoy your new fans
First I’d like to say Great article :D.
Now I’d like to offer a rebuttal to Michelle Gartner’s response:
You asked “Have you ever known any long term pot smokers that were brilliant or even a bit smart?” Yes as a matter of fact I personally know several and I know of even more. Check out my articles on this very subject at
To give you a clear cut example without sending you to my articles, Carl Sagan. Carl Sagan was an amazingly brilliant and creative man. A strong background in science and a well respected fiction writer. Carl Sagan has been quoted repeatedly as admitting to long term marijuana use.
As for your statement that marijuana use increases the chance of the user developing schizophrenia, I’d like to point out that even in the various studies in which the media claim these findings appear it states outright that no causal link has been determined. In other words it is unknown if schizophrenic episodes can be caused by marijuana or if schizophrenics are just more likely to use marijuana.
Oh My!
Imagine if you actually harvested that weed, then you probably would not be where you are today .. but still in some bachelor apartment getting high every Day =)
just kidding, nice street value though, 180.000,00!
wow. that’s so sad. amazing use of SEO. see i grow marijuana, sometimes White Widow, always medical marijuana. growing marijuana has always had a positive effect on me. my website has a wonderful How To section on marijuana. and covers my marijuana legalization challenge.
have a wonderful weedy pot filled day
matt mernagh