Depression and Dragonflies
I’ve been fighting a seriously dark melancholy the past few days and am struggling to stay sane. Yesterday, I cut the yard and worked up a good sweat out in the heat. I had to do something to get myself out of this depression. I was born depressed, and to just not feel down for one day is so wonderful, I cannot explain it.
After doing three hours of yard work, I sat outside in a chair because I couldn’t take being in the house. The crisp blue sky, the brilliant sunshine, the smell of fresh cut grass - nothing seemed to help me smile - not even for a second. It’s like fighting an endless war, over and over and over.
I am allergic to wasps and normally freak out when they get near me. While sitting there with sun rays pouring on my skin, a yellow and black striped wasp landed on my arm. I didn’t even flinch - I sat there motionless letting it crawl on me. Soon after, dozens of others started buzzing around me. I didn’t move. I just watched them. Eventually, I had seven wasps on my arm. They seemed to be drinking the sweat from my skin.
I thought about how insignificant they were to my state of sadness. I envisioned how my depression worked. It’s like walking through a snow blizzard across a frozen sea - all alone. So alone, no matter how loud you scream, no one would hear you anyway. You tread forward because you have to. Sitting still is suicide, so you march on. Suddenly, you step on thin ice. Cracks appear and you know you’re going under, but you know there’s noting you can do.
You fall into the water and are carried off by a powerful current. The hole disappears and inside your heart and mind, you know you will suffocate and die any second, but you don’t. You stay alive, trapped beneath a vast sheet of endless ice. You’re stuck in a type of purgatory and overcome by perpetual dread.
After daydreaming about this icy horror for a few minutes, I had thirteen wasps on my arm and a few in my hair. I felt like I was dreaming, but was wide awake. I couldn’t believe what I saw - armies of huge dragonflies - a swirling horde in my front yard. There were still some wasps buzzing around and the dragonflies were attacking them. Is that normal? I had no idea that dragonflies attacked wasps.
I rose from my chair as if in a trance and walked onto the grass. I extended my arm straight, yellow jackets still crawling on it. Immediately, the dragonflies circled me in a maddening frenzy. They violently dive bombed at the wasps, scooping them from my skin with surgical precision. I was bewildered and stunned by this occurrence. One black dragonfly swooped down and hit a wasp so hard, it ripped the thing into pieces. I actually saw it’s head and a few legs fall to the ground - the dragonfly barely grazed my skin.
The entire event only lasted around thirty seconds, and my dragonfly friends removed every wasp from my arm. There were at least a hundred or more dragonflies all around me. They encircled my body but never once landed on me. I have never even heard about something like this happening, and I still wonder if I was dreaming while standing there.
It’s so strange. The wasps never stung me and the dragonflies were like dolphins protecting a swimmer from sharks. It must have been real, because there were hundreds of dragonflies whirling around my yard again today - a cyclonic vortex of buzzing bodies. They gathered around me again, though I had no wasps to offer them for sacrifice. The amazing ordeal made me smile and I really needed it.
Image from wikipedia - yellow jacket
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It works both ways. Wasps will attack and kill dragonflies, but dragonflies will pretty much eat any insect they can catch.
Funny, as you were describing the actions of the dragonflies, I immediately thought of dolphins circling humans and protecting them from sharks. I don’t know if this is a true story or not but dragonflies are actually known to avoid wasps. In other news, are you getting enough Vitamin D in your diet? I know it helps a lot with depression.
Wow! I love dragonflies.When I cut asparagus for a season, I would love watching them come to life as the sun rose and they warmed up.
This is an amazing event you have shared. I hope they help you feel better.
That really is odd, although I do not have a knowledge of dragonflies. Something similar happened to me in 1983, if you substitute the wasp for a Hamms, and the dragonflies for ladies night at the Hogsbreath in St Paul.
Take care Bobby,
Eric
Bobby, I admire your courage, if even in a dream, *hugs and smiles*
Judy
That is one of the most awesome stories I have ever read! You had all those wasps on you (I would have freaked out if just one landed on me), and then the dragonflies took them all off! I wonder what you could have done if they hadn’t saved you? I would’ve been panicking! I can’t get over how amazing that is, though, how the dragonflies removed all of them from you. Amazing.
@Dan: I had to read up on the subject, and it’s quite fascinating!
@Teeni: I get plenty of vitamins, but my depression is in my genes. I just have to deal with it when it happens. I have tried just about everything for it, but nothing has ever worked.
@Joh: It must be dragonfly breeding season here because they are everywhere!
@Eric: The Hogsbreath? That sounds like the kind of place I would never go in without a shotgun…haha!
@Judy: Thanks Judy! It’s nice to see you!
@Thanks Justin! I’m glad you liked it:)
Hi Bobby, I enjoyed the story. A couple of days ago I had a close encounter with a snake - it was scary and revealing at the same time. One of my friends who is an established writer recently published an essay in a magazine, talking mostly about the crows and about the importance of the living creatures around us - it was dealing with biofilia and truly great, maybe someday they are going to translete it in English and I will send a copy.
Cheers
Oh, why do we always inherit the “bad” genes? I hope you are feeling better by the time you read this Bobby. I think of you often and always look forward to your wonderful words.
Hey Bobby,
Great5 story and described with such detail. I am amazed that you can write so well while in a depressive mood.
As you know I too battle this monster constantly. The deep dark hole that tries to suck me in. But, I have been fortunate as of late that my meds are keeping me pretty stable.
I hope the mood passes quickly. I will keep you in my thoughts. Hey come on by and see a picture of my newest grandson Jonah.
His smile is awesome!!
Hugs and love:-)))))
I’m not a regular reader of yours and I stumbled across this post but had to leave a comment. I really like the symbolism and am a firm believer that nature heals soul.
Thank you for this.
That is amazing that dragonflies can attack the wasp.I think they are trying to make you feel better!
Sorry to hear you have been having such a hard time lately - and that “it’s in the genes”. Thank you for sharing your amazing experience. The imagery was so vivid. I’m not allergic to bees, but I would have been freaking out! I’m glad you were not stung.
Really pleased it made you smile Bobby. We all need a good smile or chuckle every once in a while.
Like you, I’m allergic. Been stung hundreds of times in my life but last summer a single sting on the eyebrow and within 30 min was covered in hives from head to toe and started having a difficult time breathing. I kinda doubt I’d have been able to sit there as you did. EpiPen anyone?
Dragonflies are amazing preditors. Mosquitos are a favorite of theirs. They’re like the F-22 Raptors of the insect world. Generally, it’s believed the “swarming” is due to favorable feeding conditions/grounds. It is also speculated that the swarming might be due to a “courting” ritual.
If you’re interested, here’s some more info on them…
http://science-ed.pnl.gov/pals/resource/cards/dragonflies.stm
Hmmmmmm… Insect Military
Air Force… Dragonflies
Navy… Giant Water Bug
Army… Fire Ants
Marines… Preying Mantis
Hey Bobby!
Beautiful writing. I love dragonflies. They are my personal animal totem, well along with frogs.
My yard has been full of red dragonflies this summer.
Big hugs my f friend. I’m slowly but surely coming out of hibernation.
@JC: Thanks so much! I’d like to read that. I know people that have venomous snakes and spiders as pets, but I’ll pass on it!
@Teeni: Thanks! I do feel better now, though it took several days to get there. Maybe I’ll start blogging again!
@Shinade: Thanks Jackie! It’s nice to see you and I will definitely come see your grandson’s pictures!
@Adam: Thanks for reading Adam and it’s nice to meet you. I’ve been spending a lot of time outdoors lately - it’s really made me feel better!
@Denver: It was amazing and I wish I had filmed it!
@Sharon: Thanks! I feel great right now. I’m glad I didn’t get stung too.
@Dave: That’s an interesting observation on the insect military! I actually have an epipen, just in case - it might be out of date though.
@Paula: Thanks Paula! All I know is it’s great to hear from you! I know you’ve been through a lot and I hope all is well. Here’s a hug for you too!
That was such a cool story- I kind of get freaked out by dragon flies though.
Wow, this is almost unreal! You are very courageous. I would have screamed like crazy if the same thing happened to me and also try to make the wasps go away. Haha, I would have probably ended up being stung.
@Michelle: They don’t attack people and are delicious in stir fry LOL!
@Ruby: I felt so bad that day, I was in a trance. Wasps can be friendly if you gently scratch them behind the ears…haha!
What incredible evidence to show that you are in fact not alone - you’re never alone.
Amazing - thank you for sharing that.
That’s weird. I wouldn’t think that wasps like drinking sweat. Interesting story.
hi bobby.
i was drawn in to this post because i myself am just emerging from a spell of my own.
i do not however have anything as awesome as a dragonflies helping me out.
~chesca