I’ve never been a materialistic person. I could lose everything I own because ultimately, it means absolutely nothing to me. My most prized possessions are my guitars – all of which I built myself from scratch – yet I would not shed a single tear if they burned in a fire. Actually, I have given many of them away as gifts to friends and family. Sure I like them, but I do not love them. It is impossible for me as a human being to love any inanimate object.

Money means nothing to me either. I do not care for or love money. To me, it’s just a piece of meaningless paper. To live in society, I need it to pay bills and buy food, but it still means absolutely nothing to me. The very idea of being alive is all I need to wake up everyday and be happy and secure. I am secure in knowing I can survive in any circumstance short of being killed or stranded in an eminently deadly situation from which escape is impossible.

We all want meaning in our lives, but why? What is meaning? Is is being financially stable? Is it being rich? Is it driving a nice car? Is it wearing designer clothes? Is it achieving something? Is it having a degree? Is it being famous? Is it love? Is it family? Perhaps it’s none of these things. Eventually, the Earth will be sucked into a black hole and forgotten by eternity itself. In the grand scheme of the universe, we are less than microscopic specs – our only true purpose is that which we place on ourselves and those we love.

Poor, rich, middle class or whatever has no impact on my personal happiness. Some say love makes you happy, yet I’ve been in love and been extremely unhappy. Many people married for 40 years and in love are unhappy. If you’re married with 10 children, own your own house and have the job of your dreams – is that the source of your happiness? What if war came and stripped all of that away? What if one day you were alone? No family, no children, no house and no job; a dismally horrific possibility for all of us. Would losing all of that make you whither away and die? Would your deceased loved ones want you to live endlessly mourning their loss? I think not! They would want you to live mightily, powerfully and with purposeful conviction even if you were the last person on earth. Stripped down to the barest of all essentials, we must love ourselves.

I have no illusions that horrible things happen everyday to people all across the world. If you’ve never read Viktor Frankl’s “Man’s Search For Meaning”, you should. If you don’t even know who he is, you need to learn! Here are a few great quotes from him:

  • “Woe to him, when the day of his dreams finally came, found it to be so different from all that he had longed for!”
  • “We were not hoping for happiness – and yet we were not prepared for unhappiness.”
  • “Live as if you were living already for the second time and as if you had acted the first time as wrongly as you are about to act now!”
  • “An incurable psychotic individual may lose his usefulness but yet retain the dignity of a human being. This is my psychiatric credo.”

Happiness is nothing more than a choice. Also, sadness and depression is a choice. There are exceptions and many people may disagree, but throughout an entire life of severely intense depression, I decided no more. I cannot be happy 24-7 and it’s ridiculous to think anyone can be; however, I can choose to not dwell on negativity.

Many people I know suffering from depression have ways of dealing with it. Often, they don’t want to be alone. When they’re alone, they feel suffocated and need others. They call people, reach out, watch a happy movie and thousands of other things trying to ultimately get away from themselves. What I learned is to not run away from myself. Perhaps that comes from decades of studying Zen, meditation and many other human arts. The answer is not out there, it is inside you.

Today has been incredibly difficult for me. It has taken everything I have to keep from slipping into a severe depression. Truthfully, I am fighting as hard as I can right this minute to stay afloat as this slippery slope is nearly impossible to tread. I am just fine though and will succeed in my sanity. I must remember what I tell myself everyday:

You must love yourself and know what an unfathomable gift it is to simply be alive.

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