I’ve never been a materialistic person. I could lose everything I own because ultimately, it means absolutely nothing to me. My most prized possessions are my guitars – all of which I built myself from scratch – yet I would not shed a single tear if they burned in a fire. Actually, I have given many of them away as gifts to friends and family. Sure I like them, but I do not love them. It is impossible for me as a human being to love any inanimate object.
Money means nothing to me either. I do not care for or love money. To me, it’s just a piece of meaningless paper. To live in society, I need it to pay bills and buy food, but it still means absolutely nothing to me. The very idea of being alive is all I need to wake up everyday and be happy and secure. I am secure in knowing I can survive in any circumstance short of being killed or stranded in an eminently deadly situation from which escape is impossible.
We all want meaning in our lives, but why? What is meaning? Is is being financially stable? Is it being rich? Is it driving a nice car? Is it wearing designer clothes? Is it achieving something? Is it having a degree? Is it being famous? Is it love? Is it family? Perhaps it’s none of these things. Eventually, the Earth will be sucked into a black hole and forgotten by eternity itself. In the grand scheme of the universe, we are less than microscopic specs – our only true purpose is that which we place on ourselves and those we love.
Poor, rich, middle class or whatever has no impact on my personal happiness. Some say love makes you happy, yet I’ve been in love and been extremely unhappy. Many people married for 40 years and in love are unhappy. If you’re married with 10 children, own your own house and have the job of your dreams – is that the source of your happiness? What if war came and stripped all of that away? What if one day you were alone? No family, no children, no house and no job; a dismally horrific possibility for all of us. Would losing all of that make you whither away and die? Would your deceased loved ones want you to live endlessly mourning their loss? I think not! They would want you to live mightily, powerfully and with purposeful conviction even if you were the last person on earth. Stripped down to the barest of all essentials, we must love ourselves.
I have no illusions that horrible things happen everyday to people all across the world. If you’ve never read Viktor Frankl’s “Man’s Search For Meaning”, you should. If you don’t even know who he is, you need to learn! Here are a few great quotes from him:
- “Woe to him, when the day of his dreams finally came, found it to be so different from all that he had longed for!”
- “We were not hoping for happiness – and yet we were not prepared for unhappiness.”
- “Live as if you were living already for the second time and as if you had acted the first time as wrongly as you are about to act now!”
- “An incurable psychotic individual may lose his usefulness but yet retain the dignity of a human being. This is my psychiatric credo.”
Happiness is nothing more than a choice. Also, sadness and depression is a choice. There are exceptions and many people may disagree, but throughout an entire life of severely intense depression, I decided no more. I cannot be happy 24-7 and it’s ridiculous to think anyone can be; however, I can choose to not dwell on negativity.
Many people I know suffering from depression have ways of dealing with it. Often, they don’t want to be alone. When they’re alone, they feel suffocated and need others. They call people, reach out, watch a happy movie and thousands of other things trying to ultimately get away from themselves. What I learned is to not run away from myself. Perhaps that comes from decades of studying Zen, meditation and many other human arts. The answer is not out there, it is inside you.
Today has been incredibly difficult for me. It has taken everything I have to keep from slipping into a severe depression. Truthfully, I am fighting as hard as I can right this minute to stay afloat as this slippery slope is nearly impossible to tread. I am just fine though and will succeed in my sanity. I must remember what I tell myself everyday:
You must love yourself and know what an unfathomable gift it is to simply be alive.



#1 by paisley at October 24th, 2008
| Quote
i am so with you on not being attached to material things.. having lived a rather nomadic life,, i have left my personal possessions behind more than once and just moved on… i have however also been without a roof over my head or prospect of food to eat,, and i know the reason i can care so little about money right now is because i have the necessities….
i look forward to people who are materialistic learning to define themselves by other than that which they own,, but i dont want to see people starving,, for that never taught anyone anything…
good post bobby
#2 by Revellian at October 24th, 2008
| Quote
Thanks Jodi, I know you’ve been there. I’ve lost everything I own twice and both times, I never really felt sad about it. I believe I am fortunate to have gone hungry and to drink water from the hose on the side of a gas station late at night. Having to ask another hungry person for clothes to wear will shine the light of humanity on the darkest crevasse of your soul. But, I recovered and can anytime. If a person hasn’t been on the bottom, they cannot know what it’s like and it’s certainly nothing to be ashamed of.
#3 by J.C. at October 24th, 2008
| Quote
Great post Bobby, I have always considered money just as a mean never as goal. But in todays’ order of things greed is so omnipresent and global. I even have some cousins who would be happy to see me fail in every way only if they could benefit from it anyhow. The worst thing for me is to see people who are basically in a good material situation, they have cars, money, jobs but are never satisfied and ready to do the lowest just to get a bit more of money. One of my friends said that modesty is the most despised word today and I believe he was completely right when saying that.
#4 by Revellian at October 24th, 2008
| Quote
Thanks J.C., often with money and power comes that nasty concept: a sense of entitlement. People expect to be treated like royalty and look down on others less fortunate than them. In the end, were all the same. I see a garbage man the same as I see a prince, they are both human beings. We see modesty the same way – it is something to be proud of
#5 by ruby at October 24th, 2008
| Quote
Hello Bobby,
It’s always a pleasure to read your posts and the way you say it I cannot disagree. It’s true that everything will end one day and nothing on earth is ours. I have been thinking about this many times. Then I thought for the little time I’ll spend on this earth why not try to make my life worthwhile both for me and people I love. Basically I am working to earn so that I can make people around me happy, I do not want more than that. I have seen how money can change people and I seriously do not want to be like those who are always stressed and are thinking about making more money… I won’t say money is evil but I’d just like to earn it “moderately” haha
Sorry I have not been visiting your blog much lately. So many things have changed in my life. I changed job and now spending more than 3 hours daily in the bus (traffic jam sucks) I am barely having time to check my own blog… Ah I miss the days I was working at home but I do not regret I have quit. Now being sick makes me happy, I can stay at home lol like today.
Have a nice day
#6 by Revellian at October 24th, 2008
| Quote
Hi Ruby! We all can and should make good lives for ourselves and make as much money as possible; however, handling money and power is something that can change people; for better or worse. In America’s current financial crisis, many of these super rich, crooked stock brokers are callous punks with both money and power – but lacking a sense of philosophical intellect, modesty and humanity. I make a good living and I’ve worked hard for everything I have. If I lose it all, I will still be the same person.
Long daily bus rides builds character…haha! It’s nice to see you and I hope you feel better soon
#7 by Miss Moneypenny at October 24th, 2008
| Quote
Deep down, are you a nudist, Bobby?
With the Ice Age of Winter quickly approaching, I need winter clothes and my pellet wood stove to keep me thawed out and happy!
Waking up knowing we’re haven’t been sucked into the Black Hole of Obama also keeps me happy!
All joking aside, another great post ~ happiness is internal and can’t be bought by external material things!
#8 by Revellian at October 24th, 2008
| Quote
Hi Debbie! No, deep down, I’m full of blood and organs hahaha! You should skin yourself a moose and make a new winter fur to keep you warm! A truly happy person can be happy even while dying or paying super high taxes
#9 by Michelle Gartner at October 24th, 2008
| Quote
I’d have to say I am not materialistic at all. Even though I try to be non-judgmental, I sort of think people who brag about how much they pay for stuff are stupid. (I can’t believe I wrote that- but it is true).
My family and friends are surprised that I sell a lot of very nice jewelry both fine and vintage and then they look to see my collection… which consists of practically nothing. My clothing- each item cost about $3… I rarely shop retail. I like to rummage through used stuff but don’t end up keeping much and I don’t collect anything- except kids. I buy my children used toys for gifts and they wear used clothing- not a single one has ever complained. I have never bought a new car and will probably never do it- because I can’t see paying for a smell. I’m known as very low maintenance. I strive for contentment not happiness. The Christian works to achieve contentment in every situation as Saint Paul said. Everything I learned from life comes from the Bible and watching Kung Fu- oh yeah!!
Sorry you are battling depression- I have a hard time with it myself on occasion- especially when it gets darker in the Winter.
#10 by Revellian at October 24th, 2008
| Quote
Hey Michelle! I know a woman who spends all of her money on new designer clothes and only wears them once. She thinks she’s a movie star and movie stars never wear the same clothes twice…lol! Anyway, after years of buying all that on credit, it finally crashed down. She was living in the home her mother left her, but it wasn’t completely paid for. With less than $2000 owed on a $200,000 home, she lost it! They repossessed her home, car and she had to declare bankruptcy to keep from going to jail. She had incurred almost $100,000 in credit card debt. Now she lives in a tiny rented trailer and is freaking miserable – not because she realizes her mistake, but because she hates not looking like a movie star and still blames the world for her problems!!! LOL!
Depression? That was yesterday! I feel great today and am in a good mood. Here’s to a happy winter!
#11 by Miss Moneypenny at October 24th, 2008
| Quote
Hi Bobby!
Sorry, no Moose is on the Loose in my winter wonderland… maybe, Caribou Barbie can ship a few my way and teach us how to skin a Moose on the Loose!
You must be a extremely rare bird to be happy to pay taxes… Obama’s Welfare World needs happy Tax Heroes like you!
#12 by Revellian at October 24th, 2008
| Quote
Hey Debbie! I read the happiest people in the world live in Denmark, a socialistic-capitalistic nanny state. With all the socialism coming, maybe I can quit work and sit around blogging all day living for free on welfare checks. If you live in a nanny state, working is what you don’t want to do lol!
#13 by Svasti at October 25th, 2008
| Quote
Hiya Bobby, great post! I completely agree about possessions – they are nothing to do with your happiness although that’s the general consensus of most people. How often do you hear people saying “I’ll be happy when…” – and are they? Generally not!
I’ve also been living out of a suitcase since July when I packed all my things into storage. I spent 5 weeks in Thailand and since returning I’ve been living at my parents’ place with only the bare essentials. I am hoping to get a new place soon (please please) but I’ve been pretty interested to note how little I care about my ‘things’. I’ve barely stopped to think about them except to wonder if everything will be there when I go to get it!
I think though, that perhaps the first time it hits, depression is not a choice. And until you develop enough self-awareness, I think it never is a choice.
So its a good thing to be where you’re at, given how you’re feeling. You have choices others don’t.
Fighting to hold off depression is hard work. But by the sounds of things you have more than enough tools at your disposal to make it through.
Namaste
#14 by Revellian at October 25th, 2008
| Quote
Thanks Svasti! I think I’d be more upset about losing sentimental things I’ve received as gifts than my home or car, and I’ve lost all of those things before. I think we should all be much more appreciative for what we do have. I’ve lived out of my car too…haha!
It takes a lot of experience to understand that depression is a choice. First you must be seriously depressed to even know what that means – I know you know what it means! It takes me much less time to get over depressive feeling than before, though I still experience it. Yes, I have the tools and coping skills, but it took decades to achieve.
#15 by Shinade at October 26th, 2008
| Quote
Hi Bobby,
As you know I too deal with depression. I know that black hole much too well. But I too have learned much seeking meditation and complete solitude.
I prefer solitude over any other thing. I enjoy the quietness when I am alone. It is these periods that I feel and experience my most creative times.
I have also just got up, leaving all material things behind, and moved to a new place just to see it, and experience a different culture.
People, mostly my family thought me crazy when I made these moves. But, now that I am older they see they were good choices.
I only hope to pass through this world and in some way offer a contribution to others. I hope when I reach the end of the road I will look back and find that I succeeded in this effort.
Great post Bobby! Thanks for sharing!:-)
#16 by Revellian at October 26th, 2008
| Quote
Thanks Jackie! It sounds like you deal with depression much like I do. I’ve always been sort of a loner, but I have made great strides to become less of a loner. Introspective people are a unique bunch!
I guess we’re all a little crazy in some respects. I sometimes think I’m insane lol!!! I’m taking a few days off from blogging but will return soon. I have to publish my Halloween story and have another to write with a friend.
Thanks for reading and have a great week!
#17 by Nutri at October 27th, 2008
| Quote
Hey Bobby,
I have seen your face around so when I accidently stumbled across your blog I though “cool, it’s that guy”.
I did not for once second expect the post I just read. It’s definitely the most profound thing I have read today and much of what you write is what I aspire too be like but still fail in so many ways.
I wish I did not care at all for any possessions but I do. I care about my apple mac even though the poor little bugger is covered in scratches and bruises.
I love my girlfriend and would say I am happy and at times cannot face the thought of being alone…. but I know that if ‘God, Allah, Buddah, Whoever Forbid!’ something bad happens that I NEED to keep going strong.
Thanks for this post, strangely it has lifted my mood.
I am sad to read about your depression but you sound like you have very strong tools in place to come out on the right side.
Pain can be relative, so constant happiness would only bring us misery when things did not go perfectly.
#18 by Shinade at October 27th, 2008
| Quote
Good for you Bobby. I am going to have to take a few days off myself to spend some time with Walter before his vacation is over.
I am looking forward to your story!!
Hugs Bobby:-))))
#19 by Laptop Dave at October 28th, 2008
| Quote
“Life is good, if we live in such a way to make it so”
Revellian, I deal with depression on a regular basis. I still think there is some form of meditation from reaching out to people. Usually, I get down when I’m thinking about myself. When I’m thinking about others, usually things are ok.
And yes, I whole-heartedly agree: Happiness is a choice.
#20 by ceblogger at October 28th, 2008
| Quote
i certainly agree with you on this post. It boils down to choices. I’ve read Dr. Frankl’s work and I can say that it’s a “Must Read” book.
#21 by gypsy at October 30th, 2008
| Quote
Hi Bobby, Enjoyed reading this post a lot. I think happiness and depression are like two sides of our consciences. They are definitely choices. We can choose to indulge ourselves in depression or in happiness. I think both of these ‘phases’ can give productive results as well (depending on the person, I guess). I’ve seen excellent works of art produced when the artist would immerse him/herself in total depression. The same goes for happiness. I think ‘a little crazy’ makes us more interesting as individuals.
#22 by Anastasia at October 30th, 2008
| Quote
Totally agree. I have Viktor Frankl’s book, I picked it up randomly, while browsing the book shack in my mall. His account of his experiences is different from the usual. He doesn’t divide people into good and bad; all people have the capacity to be either, it’s just a matter of choice.
It’s a strange world we live in, few people remain untainted by temporary despair. Just the other day, I had to delve further and ask my teenage son what was wrong. Whether it’s teenage hormones or whatever, hormones do have a way of affecting moods, especially during adolescence, I told him that happiness only comes from within, not what we buy. He was sore about something that broke, and latched on the mood train.
I do like shopping. I do like feeling able to buy things on my own, without relying on others, but to me material possessions are just that, temporary. My most happy moments are simple. I enjoy reading, watching creative films, trying to understand feline behavior (with my two cats at home) and just deriving pleasure from the simplest things. I wasn’t like that in my late teens and early twenties, I wanted more, but that stemmed from the adults around me and their material wants. It wasn’t until much later, after coming across greed oriented assholes that I realized how sad they were.
#23 by Eric "Speedcat Hollydale" at October 30th, 2008
| Quote
For me, it involves mind segregation. I have stress, I do not like my job, and I do not have extravegant things. The key in my life is to remove these thoughts from the times I am doing things I enjoy. Basically, it’s like like a partial lobotomy. (many see me in this light already) … ha haa!!!!!!!
I also think it is hard to be happy without people in your life that emit love and humor. Two powerful personality traits. Laughing causes brain “Happy” chemicals to fire, just as excersize, and yes, love. By love, I am not talking about marriage. Anybody can get married. I think in California, squirrels can marry. They just want more acorns.
Did you know that before the sun goes Black Hole, it will be a giant red “cool sun”. It will be so big that the Earth will be swallowed in it’s enormity. That’s why I am stocking up and sun screen and Gatorade.
ohhh, and Faith
#24 by Revellian at October 30th, 2008
| Quote
@Nutri: Thanks for reading, I’m glad you enjoyed it!
@Jackie: Enjoy the rest of your vacation! Hahaha…I don’t know if you’ll actually like my upcoming horror story!!!
@Dave: Sometimes it doesn’t seem like a choice, but ultimately is.
@CEblogger: A great book indeed.
@Gypsy: Thanks! It’s a scientific fact that many artistic writers/people suffer from depression – it definitely makes them more interesting!
@Ana: When I feel down, I read through that book and it gives me perspective. If he could maintain sanity in that situation, my problems are nothing by comparison. A teenage son must be a handful, I know I was lol!!!
@Eric: Are you sure you haven’t already had a lobotomy? Hahahaha!!! Save some Gatorade for me, it can get hot under that nuclear radiation!
#25 by Lulu at October 31st, 2008
| Quote
Hi Bobby!, I enjoyed your entry. Human beings mostly are never satisfied with what they’ve got; they want more and more; they set 3, then they want 4 later they want 5, and more and more. When they don’t get what they want they become depressed, and none can control it, but they themselves. Perhaps happiness means to be thankful for whatever you get. When I feel down and low- I think I’ll just go to sleep, LOL.
I am gonna love your blogs by the way
#26 by Revellian at October 31st, 2008
| Quote
Thank you so much Lulu! I meant to tell you I got a multiply account just so I could leave comments on your blog. I wish multiply were more open and allowed comments from self-hosted wordpress bloggers or Google blogspot bloggers. Maybe it does and I just don’t know how to do it!
You go to sleep when you’re down? That sounds like a good idea LOL!
#27 by Lulu at October 31st, 2008
| Quote
Hi Bobby!, I just realized it was your multiply ID soon after I pushed the button “denied”, sorry sorry LOL- the ID was blank and had no messages for me, so I thought you could’ve been someone that might have harmed my computer LOL. I know Multiply is only limited to “member” – I just knew it some weeks after I joined in around 2006. And it does not allow other non-multiply users to comment-they say to avoid spams. I was about to make blogs on another account that is somehow more open, but I postponed it again and again ( sigh). Anyhow, if you still remember your multiply ID and would like to comment on my blogs, perhaps you can re-invite me?.
See ya
#28 by Bobo at November 2nd, 2008
| Quote
*hugs* I wish more people thought like you… like us.
#29 by Paul at November 3rd, 2008
| Quote
While I do believe in the power of the mind and how you can affect your own mood, I don’t think you can control it entirely as you suggest. As for the eternal question: why are we here and what is our meaning? – well, this has been debated over and over again and I personally believe there’s no particular reason, it is just a pure game of chance. All you can do is stay for the ride and try to make yourself happy. For me personally, that would mean to travel all over the world and see all the incredible places on Earth before I die.
#30 by Revellian at November 3rd, 2008
| Quote
@Bobo: Yes that would be nice!!!!
@Paul: I can’t control it completely, but am better than when I was young. Sometimes, depression is overpowering and happiness illusive.
#31 by Kitten Adoption Agencies at November 11th, 2008
| Quote
unhappy people might should think about going to one of the local kitten adoption agencies find something to live for and be happy about
#32 by Miragi at November 19th, 2008
| Quote
It’s on days like today that I wonder why I don’t drink or do drugs. And also, on days like today, I will come across something or somebody that will enlighten me on my otherwise solitary journey through the quicksand and full metal jacket journey of depression. Today, I decided to read your blog.
Today, on this side of the screen, it’s one of the harder days to focus on the joys of the act of breathing. But, I know tomorrow is another day, and the chance for feeling better.
Thank you for the wake up call!
#33 by Revellian at November 19th, 2008
| Quote
@KAA: Yes a kitten can make some people happier!
@Miragi: Yes, drugs and drinking are particularly detrimental to people with depression and I’ve had my fair share of both when younger. No matter how bads things are on one day, they will certainly improve on another. I used to expect depression. I no longer have that view. If I’m going to be depressed, it must hunt me down because I refuse to expect anything but feeling positive!