Whew. I have been away from blogging for a few days because of depression..again. It can sometimes be an embarrassing nuisance. I think I might just be insane. After writing an article, Happiness and Depression are Choices, I didn’t expect to be stricken down with my life long adversary so intensely. While I do believe it is largely a choice, I do realize I have a chemical imbalance that strikes without warning and hits with ferocious power.
One thing about depression that I know – and people who have it know – when others first learn about your problem, they are really supportive. When you first reveal you are intensely sad to others, they really help lift you up; however, after many more occurrences, they tend to shy away…and I don’t blame them. Your depression becomes somewhat of a nuisance and they don’t want to hear it – or maybe they just get used to it. It almost becomes like “crying wolf” and is often trivialized by family and friends; maybe not trivialized as much as they become desensitized to it.
People learn to accept the fact you just suffer occasionally like, “Oh Jimmy just gets depressed sometimes, he’ll get over it soon enough.”
To me, and others like me, depression is never good. I have never become desensitized to my own melancholy – I only wish it were like that. I wish I could trivialize my own problems and just wish my inner pain away. I wish my world was filled with perpetual joy and beaming happiness – indigo moonbeams shimmering across kaleidoscopic candy mountains – sunshine, laughter, giggling friends and kitty cats – but it’s not.
All the times in my life when I should have been drenched in cheerful paradise, a blackened storm cloud of hellish vexation hung above me – incendiary tear drops of blistering lava cried from the eyes of Leviathan himself, dropping in molten slabs upon my back. And there’s nothing I can do about it.
I sat for hours this week with my finger on the delete button, ready to end this blog. Now you may wonder why on earth I would want to do that. This is my 313th post and in February, I will reach the two year mark. I don’t post as often as most bloggers, but I try to write every article with as much passion as possible. I admit I’m sometimes overly sensitive and a very emotional writer. The one aspect I know I possess in my writing is emotion – regardless of the subject – from horror to politics and all between. I decided to keep my blog. I am thankful to have the foresight to know how bad I would feel if I actually did delete it.
Let me tell you – it is embarrassing to be depressed sometimes. I’ve written some articles and left comments that afterwards made me feel silly – perhaps this will be one of them. After a lifetime of fighting this extremely debilitating condition, I am more skilled at getting over it. It’s so strange…when I feel good, I can barely even remember being depressed – until it latches it’s ugly fangs into my psyche, bleeding out all my happiness – sheathing my pearly white sneakers in bloody secretions.
I am not embarrassed for being depressed, but I am embarrassed for what I do and say while depressed. It’s like being really drunk and making a fool out of yourself. It makes me feel like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde at times.
I know it may seem eccentric or strange, but writing horror makes me feel better…LOL! I wish I had the answer to that. I think it’s my way of purging – to get it all out. But I actually write my best horror when I’m in a good mood as in my last horror fiction piece.
Anyway, I feel partially sane today and actually laughed a few times. I told a friend of mine that I’d be a better president than Obama or McCain. He said, “What? You would be a horrible president – I would be freaking scared to death with a neurotic wacko like you at the helm…and I’m serious, I really mean that. You’d be dropping nukes on countries one day and passing out Christmas presents and candy the next!”
Hahaha!!! Well, that really cracked me up. He was right! I would be a terrible president…LOL!!!



#1 by Becca at November 3rd, 2008
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It’s a relief to hear/read about someone who goes through the same feelings cycles with depression that I do. I’d like to thank you personally for the help that you’ve given me through time. It’s the little things that add up over time that make a difference. Thank you! Hopefully, I can do the same for you in return.
PS If you DO decide to run for president, would you consider me as VP? We could do the good pres/bad pres thing or- why not villain vs. hero and switch back and forth as each of our chemical imbalances dictate. Think of the publicity!!!
#2 by Revellian at November 3rd, 2008
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Hi Becca! It’s been a long time since getting a comment from you…I feel so special today! I’m glad something I wrote helped someone. Thank you for being my friend!
Sure, you can be my VP! I warn you, I plan to stay drunk during the campaign and carry an AK-47…LOL
#3 by Svasti at November 4th, 2008
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Heya Bobby – don’t be embarassed about depression! I don’t think that helps you at all. I’m glad you kept your blog and I’m glad you wrote this post explaining how you feel.
I suffer terrible anxiety about what I write sometimes. It really bothers me that some of my more personal posts are left without comments by my readers – but I guess the intensity of emotion in them can sometimes be too much for others.
Much like how you described they way friends behave when you’re depressed. There’s no one to blame over this, its human nature. No one likes having their buzz killed. But then, neither do those of us who deal with depression!
Here’s a couple of my recent posts you might relate to in your current state of mind:
http://svasti.wordpress.com/2008/10/28/five-minute-sketch/
http://svasti.wordpress.com/2008/11/03/are-we-all-insane-not-a-movie-review/
Namaste
#4 by Revellian at November 4th, 2008
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Thanks Svasti! I just had to write about this particular aspect of depression to get it out and think about it.
Well, your blog certainly deserves comments as you put a lot of real effort in your work. I have barely been commenting at all lately, and I will read your posts. For me, every time I get depressed, it’s like the first time – just as bad and I never get used to it. But you’re right, it is human nature, especially from people who really don’t understand it or have never been truly depressed.
Some of my family members don’t understand there is a difference between feeling sad over an event, like missing a loved one and real depression. I could win the lottery, marry a supermodel and get depressed the same day for no real reason…LOL! I guess it’s different for everyone, but for me, it comes from nowhere.
#5 by Svasti at November 4th, 2008
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Hi Bobby, no I don’t think people have to comment on anything I write… but its more that the really intense posts just tend to get left alone. And I think its the ‘avoidance’ thing. It is hard for others to look directly at someone who’s going through depression or any other mental illness.
Its kind of like they don’t want to see, don’t want to relate in case it might be something they too experience one day.
You’re probably like me – never thought you’d have to deal with depression. Its not particularly logical for smart people to suffer depression really. But it happens regardless and that’s scary, both for us and for others.
#6 by Revellian at November 4th, 2008
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You’re blog is relatively young Svasti – as time passes and you garner more readers those articles will get more attention. Each comment is important and a gift! Thank you so much, your comments are always great. Yeah, nobody asks to be depressed, that’s for sure. I actually feel good today, so I’m going to enjoy it
#7 by Shinade at November 4th, 2008
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Hi Bobby,
I am glad you’re back. And I would love to make a globe for you. But, you will have to email me. So please email me and if you have any ideas about what you want on it …just tell me and I will try my best.
I can get it done tonight when we get home. I love to do graphics so this will be fun!!
So please do email me. I really, really want to do this for you!!:-))
#8 by Revellian at November 4th, 2008
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Thanks Jackie! In the past, I would literally hide when depressed; I’m trying something different this time and reaching out to others and keeping my blog alive. It’s already making me feel good! I will send you an email shortly
#9 by teeni at November 4th, 2008
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Well, your friend may have some points there but I think you could be president of the Revellion and do a phenomenal job.
I think it is great that you can talk about your depression – that has got to be much better than disappearing, deleting your blog, or withdrawing into your black moods. I hope you can keep working on improving. Even though you may have weak moments, I know you are a strong person to have gotten as far as you have in life.
#10 by Revellian at November 4th, 2008
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Thanks Teeni, but there’s no “O” in Revellian hahahaha
I decided to refuse retreating into a black hole this time, and it seems to be working. I will enjoy all the goodness I can get!
#11 by Bobo at November 4th, 2008
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I know exactly what you mean. You know I do… and sometimes… I feel like people will give up on me… before they actually do so I give up on them first.
*hugs* you’re never alone Bobby.
#12 by Revellian at November 4th, 2008
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Hi Bobo! Well, we can never give up on ourselves no matter who gives up on us. *Hugs* to you too!
#13 by Miss Moneypenny at November 4th, 2008
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Have you tried Obama’s Bong of Hope to cure depression?
Speaking of Presidential Election depression, my final(?) humorous political insights:
With Comrade Obama, Big Brother McCain, and Superglued Bobby for President, there was no clear winner:
With Comrade Obama, nukes will be falling on us as Barack passes out taxpayer candy.
With Big Brother McCain, the 100-year Oil War will stay in Iraq and we keep our taxpayer candy.
With Superglued Bobby, our brains will be microwaved, and superglued in his Oval Orifice.
So, I voted for Nobody… did he finally win???
Since Baldwin has no chance of winning, Cast your vote for Nobody today for Change that always stays the same no matter who becomes President ~
Nobody has all the answers.
Nobody cares.
Nobody will defend your rights.
Nobody will fix the Democratic Mortgage Mess.
Nobody will keep election promises.
Nobody will listen to your concerns.
Nobody will lower your taxes.
Nobody tells the truth.
#14 by Revellian at November 4th, 2008
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Hi Debbie! You did not vote for “Nobody” did you? I will superglue you!!!! My prediction (and I am always right haha):
With Obama, or even McCain, in office; America will continue on with more and more governmental intervention. There will be more and more bail outs and socialism here regardless of major party. This will heavily push globalization because the bail out “cure” is really the disease itself. I see a one world totalitarian government within 20-30 years just as predicted by Orwell. The American people (and apparently the people of the entire world) want this totalitarian super state. I cannot understand why people can’t see it. They will realize the mistake after it’s completion. Imagine one army, one bank, one center of power. That scares me to death.
However, I could be wrong and hope I am. I hope Obama does a good job and I wish him well
#15 by J.C. at November 4th, 2008
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You scared me to death when you mentioned something about deleting your blog. Don’t ever think about it again please. You have a wonderful community of your loyal readers here of which I am a proud member as well. It is always good to talk to people. And that’s exactly what are you doing here. I will try to paraphrase what Borges said once (my paraphrase of what he said might be bad so I apologize in advance): “What one man must go through all people have to as well.” And this could sublime my opinion on depression. I am a war survivor and my son is having a congenital heart disease and was neglected by his mother while I was away working oversees. But I have also survived all this storms thanks to my willingness to fight them. The storm is over now but I a waiting for the another one much better prepared.
#16 by Revellian at November 4th, 2008
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Hi J.C.! My depression has nothing to do with events in my life; like death of family members, loss of home, hunger, injury or any other “situation”. It is to my best knowledge, a chemical imbalance. Medications have only made it worse and I simply do the best I can.
No matter what happens in my life, this depression comes out of nowhere for no reason and literally takes me to my knees. The happiest I’ve ever been was after losing everything I personally owned and living hungry in the streets without any place to go…haha go figure.
Anyway, I will keep this blog alive! This is where some of the embarrassment comes from. I have no real idea why I felt that way, but I had to share my feelings to remind me how wonderful it is to blog and have worldwide friends. I’m doing much better than I used to.
#17 by Anastasia at November 4th, 2008
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You shouldn’t be embarrassed, and I know I’m using one of my most hated words in the English language (‘should’) but there are few other words.
I think it’s good that in these times that depression is talked about and many people are open about it, with organisations working to focus on depression. Years ago, the opposite was the case. Depression was swept under the carpet. It makes me angry at times because if I go back more than twenty years ago, when my mother was clinically depressed, no doctor told her about it or explained to her what it was. When I visited my own shrink and discussed this to him he was amazed that her doctors prescribed her the typical ‘housewife’ Valium instead of an SSRI. It made me think about how times differ or how views differ, and how that can make a huge difference in the quality of a person’s life.
#18 by Revellian at November 4th, 2008
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Well Ana, I’m not really embarrassed, but occasionally I do embarrassing things because of depression. Some people still consider depressed people to be mentally ill weirdos and purposefully avoid them. I feel comfortable about discussing it which is why I freely write about it.
Housewife Valium? LOL! I’ve been to many doctors who listened to me for 2 minutes and started writing prescriptions without asking me hardly any questions. I guess they tried to give me “bitchy guy” Prozac hahaha.
#19 by Lulu at November 4th, 2008
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Hi Bobby! love your blogs- Gee! I think I need to have an account in wordpress so not to miss your posts- anyhow I actually have- yet never touch it- I’ll spare some moments to activate my wordpress. Anyhow, to tell people ” I am depressed” is a real courage. If I notice you post horror stories than I assume it’s something good because you are in a good mood then, and I do believe if you were the president, then all channels on TV would show horror movies, LOL
take care Bobby
#20 by Revellian at November 4th, 2008
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Thank you Lulu! I think WordPress or Blogger have more open blog formats than Multiply and allow commenting from anyone with proper links. I sent you a multiply invitation just now!
I actually don’t watch that much horror – I really don’t read much horror either. I just like to write it lol! I read mostly nonfiction and like all kinds of movies especially action films. Thanks for reading!
#21 by Miss Moneypenny at November 4th, 2008
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Hi Bobby!
Nobody was my humorous election day political satire!
On the other hand, we may all be superglued by Obama
I agree, a U.N.American World Government has been planned for years and apparently, no elected President has opposed this Global Government.
Didn’t Orwell perceive a one world totalitarian government occurred in 1984? If Arthur C. Clarke clues are correct than a one world totalitarian government is scheduled for 2010 based on his 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968) and 2010 Odyssey Two (aka :The Year We Make Contact – 1984) novels and movies.
Arthur C. Clarke used a mysterious black monolith which appeared on Earth during the dawn of human existence to probe the minds of the man-apes and subtly condition their behavior. In his second movie, the black monolith triggers a fusion reaction in Jupiter to create a second sun, called Lucifer.
Some believe the mysterious black monolith represents the United Nations and the New Rising Sun signals the United Nations receiving full Global Power in 2010. If true, Orwell’s 1984 will be Obama’s 2010. Could a nonfiction horror story predicted by Sci-Fi Movies coming to a Third Rock between two suns be your next horror post???
#22 by Revellian at November 5th, 2008
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Hi Debbie! I am more than likely wrong about a one world government and so was Orwell. I think there maybe unions, but most countries will remain separate.
I wish I could all teary eyed with joy with a new president, but he will have to earn my respect. I don’t just pass out respect for leaders until they earn it. I will not pass judgment on Obama and will be honest in my opinions of everything he does. If he does a good job and helps get this country out of debt, I will like that! But he will have to do it first!!!!
This election is powerfully symbolic and I am happy about that, but I have no illusions about any leader. Leadership is earned, not given. Obama has much to prove to me to get my true respect as a leader, but I will give him that chance.
Obviously, Bush was a horrible president, but I gave him a chance too. As far as one world government conspiracies go, I really don’t know! There’s not much I can do about it, so I’ll just live my life. My next horror story will be humorous…just wait until you read it!!!!!
#23 by Eric "Speedcat Hollydale" at November 5th, 2008
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Bobby, I just stopped by to give you a hug.
Please do not karate chop me …
#24 by Revellian at November 5th, 2008
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I had karate chops and mashed potatoes for dinner Eric! I accept your brotherly hug!!!
#25 by Eric "Speedcat Hollydale" at November 5th, 2008
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I knew you would … take care my friend.
Goodnight
#26 by Sean Rasmussen at November 5th, 2008
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Hi Bobby
Sorry to call in like this. I haven’t even read your post (most unusual for me)
I received a Racist slur against Obama on my blog. This guy also slags off Woman and calls Obama a half-cast.
Putting politics aside, I don’t delete comments on my blog, but this guy is getting some KARMA at the moment and I would love your support and anyone you can muster up.
Feel free to delete this is you feel it’s out of place. This is the comment:
http://www.seanrasmussen.com/success/obama-ohoy/#comment-2108
#27 by Revellian at November 5th, 2008
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Hi Sean! Haha…that guy is an idiot! I am really happy to see the first African American president and that is really the most important part of this election; however, Obama hasn’t done anything yet and is basically a blank slate. I wish him well and we shall see what he can do. He must still earn his promise as a leader – we will know within 4 years what kind of president he’ll be.
In politics, I only judge by action not by race, eloquence or lack thereof. This is truly a great day in the history of minorities in America. We are all equal individuals and must all see one another that way. I’ve been fighting against racism my entire life, so his election means a lot to me in that regard.
#28 by Sean Rasmussen at November 5th, 2008
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Cheers mate. I think you’re right about the idiot. LOL. I’m getting close to have to edit his comments. There could be some serous drugs involved here.
BTW. Good luck Obama. I hope the slate turns out good.
#29 by Revellian at November 5th, 2008
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Hi Sean! Well, the guy had some valid points, but they would have been better said without racial slurs. I’ve heavily criticized Obama and McCain, but not about race, only about ideology. That guy needs to learn how to be objective and maybe get a new personality LOL!!!!
#30 by John D at November 5th, 2008
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I know what you mean both about people turning away and about acting as if under the influence when depressed. A different person emerges, the mind keeps going blank, it’s a struggle to relate to people, everything is 90% empty, and a conversation is definitely something to regret, even apologize for. What interests me about other people’s reactions is not so much getting those who get desensitized or bored – after all I ain’t no fund to be around in that state – but the people who get positively angry. The pull yourself together/get a life crowd – I suspect there’s a fear or anxiety that drives them to rant. Any thoughts about that? Thanks for this very personal post!
#31 by Revellian at November 5th, 2008
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Hi John! There have been many times where I’ve been incredibly depressed and reached out to people and been shunned. Sometimes when you need someone the most, they turn away. It hurts, but luckily for me, I do eventually get over it. When someone says, “Everyone has the same problems and we can all get over it as easily as anyone else,” it bothers me. Everyone does not have the same problems.
I never asked to suffer from depression, but I do. Just like some people are diabetic, blind or whatever. It is an actual disease and in my case, very debilitating. My depression doesn’t stem from some tragedy or horrific ordeal, it just happens on it’s own and I don’t know why.
#32 by Jean Chia at November 5th, 2008
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Hohoho! Merry Christmas!
#33 by Revellian at November 5th, 2008
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Hi Jean! Christmas already???
#34 by Raven at November 5th, 2008
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I struggle with anxiety and depression myself. It is a bit like being possessed by a stranger who is nothing like the me I think I am. I’m glad you didn’t delete your blog. You write with a spirit of truth and that kind of truth is a powerful thing and a gift to those who share similar pain and those who have no way but the words of people like you who speak out to have a chance of understanding. Bravo to you!
I wish you peace.
#35 by Revellian at November 5th, 2008
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Thank you Raven!I have written many articles about my depression and it really does help me, especially when I hear from others like you. We help each other! But yes, you have it right – it is like being possessed by a stranger. I feel great today and I wish you peace also!
#36 by Jean Chia at November 5th, 2008
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haha, bobby, we still hv abt 50 days before christmas. But im already feeling the christmas spirit now! Hohoho!!
thanks for the pressie you’ve left at my christmas tree, bobby! i love it. Do you see that i’ve drove all the way here with your car? Thanks, bobby!
*HUGZ*
#37 by Revellian at November 6th, 2008
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Hi Jean! Yeah…I know how much you love Christmas!!! Enjoy your brand new candy apple red Porsche…lol!
#38 by teeni at November 8th, 2008
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OOps sorry Bobby. I must have gotten Revellian confused with another similarly spelled word.
Plus I was tired. LOL.
#39 by Chris at November 9th, 2008
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My partner has suffered from this problem in the past – I do all I can to understand and empathise – I am grateful for your insights – they are a great help to us both – many thanks – chris
#40 by anne cunningham at November 14th, 2008
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I laughed out loud when I read the part about how writing horror stories makes the depression somehow better.
This was very well written, and I’m glad you didn’t hit delete. You really hit on the pulse of what it’s like when the brain is unbalanced, or is the some very labile pulse, which is how I see it sometimes.
Again, fabulous write on what I was going to say is a not-so-fabulous affliction, although I don’t want to call that either because it just is what it is and you have spoken to it with a great deal of respect and knowledge. We can’t hate our brains, but we can be frustrated by their manifestations.
Okay, I’ve had some labile times this week (although to the general public I seem productive) and now this post seems very manic and like drunk-blogg-dialing/commenting.
oh, the horror! the horror!
#41 by Rolando at November 15th, 2008
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Glad you’re back as well Bobby. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about. At least you have guts to actually say how you feel. You wouldn’t believe how many drafts I’ve deleted.
#42 by Revellian at November 15th, 2008
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@Teeni: Haha!!!
@Chris: Thank you so much! I hope all is well.
@Anne: Thank you! I’ve been battling this problem all my life. Right now I feel great and am happy, so I am moving forward! This is like drunk dialing…LOL!!! When I’m depressed, it really helps to have another person tell me it’s going to be alright. With blogging, there’s always some really nice person who will.
@Rolando: It’s great to see you!!! I have a ton of stuff I’m glad I didn’t publish. People in the blogosphere are generally caring and friendly, so I feel safe spilling it all!
#43 by anne cunningham at November 15th, 2008
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I actually came back to read this piece a second time today, again, because it speaks so supremely of what it is like … when speaking on a subject that it is hard to speak supremely about, you know?!?!?!
That, and based on my post, it looked like I *was* drunk posting because it’s riddled with errors … so that was my brain on drugs … or before the drugs were “clicking” as they say … which that is a phrase I’ve coined from a man I knew who had Parkinson disease.
The brain can betray us in so many ways, and his finally killed him, but early on that’s how he spoke of the medications. It took time, every morning, for things to start “clicking” and every morning was different, because we all know there are many physiological and psychological factors that affect a brain on it’s best day and when you pile a med trial on that, it’s always “anything can happen” day.
He really rallied, living with the disease, the meds, the every day is a new or difficult day aspect of a brain that has a brain of its own, so to speak. I think of him often, as well as anyone else who can speak of this unsupreme subject in a supreme way.
I used to be this very organized, anal and put together person. And I still hate the fact that I have to say “used to be” when speaking about my former self and brain pan.
I had a stroke late in my 30s. Yeah, me! A young person. And since then my brain and my “self” have just been a little bit “off.”
The best way I have had it explained is that my brian now mimics bipolar activity. I don’t know why they don’t just say, “Hi, you are bipolar now, deal with it,” because hello?!?!?!? I’m bipolar now, and I have to deal with it.
I’m like the girl with the curl in the middle of her forehead … on good days, I’m very, very good days, and on bad days I’m “horrid,” and then when you factor in that I’ve always been anal, organized, high-achiever, and let a joy keep you person, you know on my “horrid” days I’m still living and achieving and doing it in such a way that no one will notice that it’s a struggle (except for those who really, really know me).
Again, an excellent piece. I hope to speak more to my brain, or about my brain, in a future blog. I seem to touch on it lots, but something holds me back from really fully talking about it and its full bizarro nature.
#44 by Revellian at November 17th, 2008
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Wow Anne, thank you for sharing that you had a stroke. I hope you fully recover and any negative effects dissipate. Your writing is great, so just keep on writing and using that beautiful mind of yours!
#45 by Miragi at November 19th, 2008
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Maybe it’s the weather that sets it off? I don’t know where you are, but for me, as soon as I can no longer sit outside in the morning and feel the sunshine and warm breezes then I go into complete funk. I feel like a damnable yo yo half the time. And when I come out of it, I am so very different. You nailed that: it’s like you can’t even remember feeling like this.
It seems with age, it just keeps getting more severe, too. Medication barely touches it anymore. Thank you for sharing what it’s like for you. I think perhaps people who don’t suffer from it need to read more from people who do suffer from it, so that society can understand that it’s not just a term to throw around lightly!
#46 by Revellian at November 19th, 2008
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Hello Miragi! I don’t know what sets it off in anyone. For me, it is nothing in particular, it happens on its own. I live in Long Beach, Mississippi on the Gulf of Mexico around six miles from the ocean. It is subtropical weather, but tonight is cold, perhaps down to freezing.
Over the years, my depression has diminished immensely and I actually welcome the cool weather; however, depression still occasionally gets me. I’ve tried medication, but it’s too expensive and never worked for me. I have trained myself to be conscious of my thoughts – constantly. I have to, otherwise I may slip into the pool of misery. Reaching out to others helps a lot, and I welcome you as my friend! I hope this winter brings you warmth and happiness. I say embrace the cold, take some afternoon strolls outdoors and at least let a little sun shine on your skin. I feel great right now, so I’m sending you a waterfall of smiles!
#47 by Shameka at January 15th, 2009
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You took the words right out of my mouth on this one. The title of your post resonates deep within my soul. My friends and family are very supportive. All I have to say is, “I’m going into hibernation” and everyone knows what that means. I’m glad I added twitter to my blog because, like you, there would be long gaps between posts.
#48 by Revellian at January 16th, 2009
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Hi Shameka! It sure is important to have a support system–someone to turn to. I don’t know if I’ve beaten depression for good, but I am winning the war. I wish you success in being happy and coping with all of life’s problems!