Most of us have many different faces we show the world – and we are all actors is some ways. I’ve known very few people who are truly themselves in every situation. Most of us act one way at work and another way at home. Some of us are jerks at home and nice at work or vice versa – probably because we have to; although, I have been a jerk at work many times when needed…lol.
At work, I have developed a neutral mask over the years. Let me explain. I never say things or spread gossip about others to any coworkers…ever. In return, everyone tells me everything – one of the benefits of being neutral. I keep things to myself and don’t reveal a lot about me. Here are some interesting things that happen to me, and you’ll see how my approach to dealing with coworkers can be extremely entertaining.
I had a woman at work – during a conversation about drug abuse – tell me, “Nobody in here does drugs.”
Hahaha! What? I so wanted to tell her that I only knew of 7 people out of over 300 that did not use drugs – she and I being two of the ones who didn’t. The people you suspect the least are often much different than most people realize. As I get to know people, I am really good at getting them to reveal themselves to me. Most drug users feel people out to see if you’re “cool” or not. Some drug users don’t feel people out, so I give them psychological bait to find out – if I have suspicion. It’s amazing how it works. Here’s one simple example that keeps me out of trouble and gives them bait:
I told a coworker, “I went to the doctor for anxiety trying to get an antidepressant and they prescribed me a huge bottle of 1000 Xanax (a prized pharmaceutical street drug). I guess I’ll throw them away…I can’t take stuff like that.”
I said that to several selected people…lol. Within a few days, I had dozens of people asking me to sell or give them a Xanax – everyone from young guys to old women! I always said I’d bring them to work the next day, but always forgot. This was over a year ago and people still ask me about those Xanax…hahaha!
Some drug users say things like, “Man, I’m gonna get wired after work!”
I usually say something like, “Hell yes…snort a few lines for me.”
Then I’m immediately thought of as being cool and they then open up and tell me how horrific their lives are. Many have told me about crimes they’ve committed and so forth. I usually go along with whatever they say and maybe add in my own story just for fun.
The lady I mentioned earlier who said she didn’t know anyone that used drugs also said her husband had never cheated on her. Well, her husband works there to. I cannot tell you how many times he has told me a new story about how he cheated on his wife. I’ve been tempted on many occasions to tell her, “Look, almost everybody up here is a freaking drug addict and your husband is a total scumbag cheater!”
But I haven’t said anything to her. I just cannot bring myself to do it. Besides, he is somewhat of a manic and may shoot me. I used to talk about people at work (in past jobs when I was just out of high school) and got into the common workplace rumor spreading – but I learned my lesson. If you don’t spread rumors, people rarely say anything about you. Everyone at work knows me. They trust me. They think they know me well – but in reality, they actually know nothing about me. I rarely if ever tell them anything about myself. I’m not really acting, but I am highly aware of what I say and who I say it to.
It’s an interesting perspective to be the neutral actor at work. I know everyone’s secrets and they only know my name – yet they all believe they know me. Here on my blog I am myself and really have no secrets. I have openly shared many intimate details about myself. It’s so funny; none of my coworkers read blogs.
In many ways, I feel like a clandestine spy at work. I almost feel like I’m watching them on a secret camera – the camera behind my neutral eyes.
This only works if you keep everything to yourself. If someone says something about you and it gets back to you – don’t get mad. Let it blow over and it will be forgotten. Where I work, it’s generally a good idea to not hang out with or become too close to your coworkers. It’s actually not permitted believe it or not. Also, I never date girls from work. In my job, you’re just asking for problems or to get fired by dating coworkers. I work in a cutthroat environment, but the money is great. I could be a damn good undercover cop but the risk versus pay ratio is terrible.



#1 by Lulu at November 11th, 2008
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you are a pretty good actor then Bobby! whoops I mean a neutral actor.I was about to ask whether you were wearing a mask here, and you answered that nearly at the end of today’s blog.
Too bad, none of your coworkers read your blogs, but well perhaps one of them might bump into this:-)
See you Bob
#2 by Lulu at November 11th, 2008
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you are a pretty good actor then Bobby, whoops neutral I mean. I was about to ask whether you ever wore a mask here, and you answered that at the end of today’s blog. I think some people aren’t that good being actors- so you’ll know they are lying:-). It’s a sad fact that none of your coworkers read blogs, especially your blogs, but who knows- they might bump into this someday. Sometimes I think it’s strange that we are what we are on blogs, but we are not what we are in real life.
See you Bobby
#3 by Revellian at November 11th, 2008
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Hi Lulu! I actually have 3 jobs, but this one is very unique. The truth is, drugs and other crime problems run rampant at work. I tend to stay personally distant from my coworkers simply because I have to. In that environment, It’s difficult for most people to not fall into the wrong crowd and really mess your life up. That’s why I love blogging! I can share this with people all over the world and get feedback from wonderful people like you! Thanks!
#4 by J.C. at November 11th, 2008
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Another great post Bobby. What I like about you and your blog is your efficiency in delivering very useful messages and advices in an elegant way. And they are all derived and proof-tested from a personal experience, what more can you ask from a blogger? Cheers!
#5 by Revellian at November 11th, 2008
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Thank you J.C.! This is a good way to deal with a difficult job where becoming too close to others can bring you down. Have a great day!
#6 by Debbie Dolphin at November 11th, 2008
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Hi Bobby!
I’m surprised you did not use your superglue skills to mix powdered milk and soy baby formula to create a fake cocaine formula for your coworkers?
Speaking of acting, have you pulled the bed snake in a shoe box prank???
If you did, did your boss get back to you?
#7 by Revellian at November 11th, 2008
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It’s so funny Debbie, my boss calls me Ron and I’ve never corrected her…lol! Like many workers at my job, I prefer to not let people know my last name – it’s even better when they don’t know my first name. No, I haven’t played that trick before – perhaps you could do it for me?
#8 by Debbie Dolphin at November 11th, 2008
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Hi Bobby-Ron!
Working undercover in security has the same identity benefits!
Unless you loan me your bed snake, I can’t do the shoe box trick without a certain male appendage for maximum comical on-the-job distraction!
#9 by Revellian at November 11th, 2008
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Hi Debbie! I must be unfamiliar with that trick – keep all sharp utensils away from me…lol!
#10 by teeni at November 11th, 2008
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Well with all the drug users and cheaters at your work I can see why you wouldn’t WANT to get close to them even if it were permitted. Well, at least you can be yourself on your blog – that must be a relief. I like your passive acting abilities though – it takes a strong person to remain distant like that and be able to say the right things to fit in when you need to.
#11 by Revellian at November 11th, 2008
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Hi Teeni! Well, there are some good people that work there but there is a severe drug/alcohol/theft problem. I am currently working almost 80 hours per week lately…I need a vacation!!!
#12 by Zen Lill at November 11th, 2008
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Oh man, you sound like me, Bobby! I do the same things and yet they all think of me as a great conversationalist, hahaha, people LOVE to talk about themselves, they could care less about you anyway. I’m suspicious that some of them have been reading my blog though, ya nevah know, plus mine is my real name – all they have to do is google me : ) I love this post, people tell me the damndest things about themselves and I’ve learned to keep a straight face no matter what they say! Keep up the good work.
Oh and I forgot to comment the other day re: depression. I had a boss for 8 years who suffered from severe depression and it was hard to watch him suffer so much, but I loved him and made things run whether or not he ever got off the sofa in his office all winter. I waited patiently for the sun to shine for him inside and was always astonished at how sweet and wonderful he was when he surfaced. It’s a tough thing. I feel for you. take care, Zen Lill
#13 by Revellian at November 12th, 2008
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Hi ZenLill! Just so you know, I have been fired from many jobs – mostly because I cannot stand a boss who condescends and degrades – I tend to snap back…lol! I’m really lucky to have a nice boss for now.
As for my depression, I refuse to sit around and sulk – most people would never know about it unless I told them. In some ways, blogging is therapeutic and I don’t mind sharing it here. I would probably laugh if someone I work with read my blog. I use my real name here too, but so far, none of my coworkers have ever mentioned it. Maybe they do read it, who knows LOL!
#14 by candy at November 12th, 2008
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Loved reading this Ron… oh, I mean Bobby
Corporate environments inevitably come with politics and gossip and stuff. You’ve got the right attitude about it for sure. Keep it clean, chin up, eyes down and looking.
Also… please visit my blog, I’ve given you the ‘Arte Y Pico Award’ – ‘cos you deserve it
#15 by Michelle Gartner at November 12th, 2008
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I used to work in a big company – where 95% of the employees were women and all they did was gossip all the time. I hated working there and always felt poisoned in the environment. I also decided once I got my degree I would work for myself, in that way I can only tell stories about myself to myself everyday…
Did I ever tell the story about how I was trained on Wu Don Mountain? that’s my favorite story about ME… ;0)
Actually I hate working in an office or with set hours, I feel like I am dying inside in a regular job…
#16 by Revellian at November 12th, 2008
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@Candy: Ron says thanks! Hey, I’m there to earn a good paycheck, not to be popular. Thanks for the award, I shall come see!
@Michelle: I had a job selling furniture and I was the only male salesman. I had to quit! Those women were seriously vicious LOL! What is Wu Don Mountain? I’m lost on that one. I have 3 jobs, and this one I’m talking about is actually fun for the most part. The best part is I legally pay very little tax on my income and have good health insurance – so I really have nothing to complain about except no knowing what training you received!
#17 by Miragi at November 16th, 2008
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Makes me glad I’m not working out amongst people anymore! I’m happy to be a hermit and not have to deal with the 8 hr gossip fests! You just want to tell people to CAN IT!
You have far more patience and composure than I would! Excellent read! Thanks!
#18 by Revellian at November 17th, 2008
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Hi Miragi! In this particular environment, I’ve become detached from the gossip and am there only for the customers – where my earnings are generated. Oh…I do tell people far worse than, “Can it!” LOL!!! If a co-worker is really getting on my nerves, even if I’ve only known them 1 minute, I say, “Get away from me…I don’t like like you.” Hahahaha! Thanks
#19 by BoyJ at November 17th, 2008
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I’m a little bit like you on that, but only a little! I’m in an all-girls’ college so you can imagine what goes on [or wait, do I dare let YOUR imagination run free?!
] but it’s really funny now that I’m used to it…I’m generally pretty clueless and keep forgetting people’s names so I won’t realize until late at night that after person A was bitching about person B during class, I just had coffee with person B who was bitching about person A after class! And gods, that made no sense!
But getting back to your post… I fully agree with J.C. in what s/he says about the way you write. And I also wanted to add, you know how human emotions are so generic? I mean, if all of us devoted li’l Bobbyworshipers can relate to what you’re saying, maybe some one in your workplace can, too. And maybe, they know YOUR secret! *daahdaahdahdaaahhh* Yes, I’m doing being funny
#20 by BoyJ at November 17th, 2008
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*done
#21 by Revellian at November 17th, 2008
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You know Moyrn, I have actually told people at work that I have a blog and have on several occasions used their real names in articles…LOL! The next day, they cannot remember what I said. Go figure. Oh yeah, J.C. is a guy…hahaha! An all girls college? That sounds dangerous!
#22 by BoyJ at November 17th, 2008
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More retarded than dangerous