Most of us have many different faces we show the world – and we are all actors is some ways. I’ve known very few people who are truly themselves in every situation.  Most of us act one way at work and another way at home. Some of us are jerks at home and nice at work or vice versa – probably because we have to; although, I have been a jerk at work many times when needed…lol.

At work, I have developed a neutral mask over the years. Let me explain. I never say things or spread gossip about others to any coworkers…ever. In return, everyone tells me everything – one of the benefits of being neutral. I keep things to myself and don’t reveal a lot about me. Here are some interesting things that happen to me, and you’ll see how my approach to dealing with coworkers can be extremely entertaining.

I had a woman at work – during a conversation about drug abuse – tell me, “Nobody in here does drugs.”

Hahaha! What? I so wanted to tell her that I only knew of 7 people out of over 300 that did not use drugs – she and I being two of the ones who didn’t. The people you suspect the least are often much different than most people realize. As I get to know people, I am really good at getting them to reveal themselves to me. Most drug users feel people out to see if you’re “cool” or not. Some drug users don’t feel people out, so I give them psychological bait to find out – if I have suspicion. It’s amazing how it works. Here’s one simple example that keeps me out of trouble and gives them bait:

I told a coworker, “I went to the doctor for anxiety trying to get an antidepressant and they prescribed me a huge bottle of 1000 Xanax (a prized pharmaceutical street drug). I guess I’ll throw them away…I can’t take stuff like that.”

I said that to several selected people…lol. Within a few days, I had dozens of people asking me to sell or give them a Xanax – everyone from young guys to old women! I always said I’d bring them to work the next day, but always forgot. This was over a year ago and people still ask me about those Xanax…hahaha!

Some drug users say things like, “Man, I’m gonna get wired after work!”

I usually say something like, “Hell yes…snort a few lines for me.”

Then I’m immediately thought of as being cool and they then open up and tell me how horrific their lives are. Many have told me about crimes they’ve committed and so forth. I usually go along with whatever they say and maybe add in my own story just for fun.

The lady I mentioned earlier who said she didn’t know anyone that used drugs also said her husband had never cheated on her. Well, her husband works there to. I cannot tell you how many times he has told me a new story about how he cheated on his wife. I’ve been tempted on many occasions to tell her, “Look, almost everybody up here is a freaking drug addict and your husband is a total scumbag cheater!”

But I haven’t said anything to her. I just cannot bring myself to do it. Besides, he is somewhat of a manic and may shoot me. I used to talk about people at work (in past jobs when I was just out of high school) and got into the common workplace rumor spreading – but I learned my lesson. If you don’t spread rumors, people rarely say anything about you. Everyone at work knows me. They trust me. They think they know me well – but in reality, they actually know nothing about me. I rarely if ever tell them anything about myself. I’m not really acting, but I am highly aware of what I say and who I say it to.

It’s an interesting perspective to be the neutral actor at work. I know everyone’s secrets and they only know my name – yet they all believe they know me. Here on my blog I am myself and really have no secrets. I have openly shared many intimate details about myself. It’s so funny; none of my coworkers read blogs.

In many ways, I feel like a clandestine spy at work. I almost feel like I’m watching them on a secret camera – the camera behind my neutral eyes.

This only works if you keep everything to yourself. If someone says something about you and it gets back to you – don’t get mad. Let it blow over and it will be forgotten. Where I work, it’s generally a good idea to not hang out with or become too close to your coworkers. It’s actually not permitted believe it or not. Also, I never date girls from work. In my job, you’re just asking for problems or to get fired by dating coworkers. I work in a cutthroat environment, but the money is great. I could be a damn good undercover cop but the risk versus pay ratio is terrible.