In my own personal struggle for positivity, basically defeating a lifetime of harrowing depression and long being the tortured writer/musician, I reached a plateau where I felt a lack of inner growth—nothing serious, but still longing for progress. And I found something I’ve always known, but am just now implementing in a true way. One thing I’ve fought for years and many other writers, artists, musicians (or everyone) experience the same thing—is the need to force my view of the world on others. On a deep philosophical level, this is an albatross I want totally discarded.
For example, we may have political or religious beliefs we believe are correct, and everybody else is wrong. I see it everyday. Democrats criticizing republicans. Republicans criticizing democrats. And every nasty thing they say about one another is true, but cannot see their own faults. Have you ever considered that both sides are wrong? That you maybe wrong in what you think? I’m not saying don’t fight for what you believe in, but to see yourself from other perspectives.
Stephen King’s Criticism
I read a scathing article where author Stephen King basically said that Stephenie Meyer, author of the teenage tinged vampire novel Twilight, can’t write. He also said that Erle Stanley Gardener, known for his Perry Mason mysteries, and I quote, “He was a terrible writer, too, but he was very successful.”
On one hand it seems childish, on the other I understand King’s opinion. In today’s world of pop-cultural phenoms and stars, true artistic talent often comes second to popularity. It’s like someone who thinks Britney Spears is the greatest musical artist of all time, and has never heard of Igor Stravinsky, and perhaps doesn’t have the sophistication to appreciate his genius. Being a musician myself who considers improvisational jazz to be the pinnacle of artistic know-how, and classical and modern composers to be the greatest—I at one point became disheartened to see Britney or other pop artists win Grammy awards being they cannot even read music or don’t write their own songs (something I think should be a prerequisite for even being considered for a Grammy).
But who am I to criticize anyone? While I do appreciate King’s sentiment that a writer can suck and still be popular, I don’t want to have the need to say stuff like that. I don’t want those thoughts in my brain. Yes, Stephenie Meyer is not Tolstoy, and her books are written to entertain teenage girls (and even adults), but I say more power to her. I personally cannot allow myself to judge another person’s success or lack thereof. Just because you might not like something, doesn’t mean others shouldn’t either. Stephenie Meyer is successful and I say leave her be. It’s the old adage to each his own. Your opinions are your opinions, but maybe it’s time to reevaluate why you have them in the first place—on a deep level.
I’m not a huge Stephen King fan, and though I do write in a horror related genre, I am not influenced by him at all. I read several of his books as a teen, and did like most of them. I could say his book The Tommyknockers was boring, uninspired with long-winded character descriptions having nothing to do with the plot and so forth—but I really don’t care. Yes, I thought that particular book sucked. The Green Mile is considered a masterpiece among many, but I can’t buy into the plot. I personally can’t get into stories where people have magical powers; it’s unrealistic (that’s just my personal preference), but I have no right to criticize his work or say he’s a terrible writer. He’s a great writer, one of the greatest horror writers of all time, but like everyone, not everything he writes is great.
It’s all opinion. We like what we like. We believe in what we choose to. I think it’s far better to say something like, “I’m just not into that story,” or “this genre doesn’t appeal to me, and not entertain the thought that you know better than someone else. When it comes to creativity, art, or love, beauty is in the eye of the beholder
Teaching guitar to people is funny sometimes. Many come in wanting to learn how to play a Metallica song. I used to try to teach them why their idea of greatness is without validity, or why they should love John Coltrane’s music; why this musician is a genius and this one isn’t. It all comes into focus now. The world doesn’t revolve around my opinion. One man’s genius is another man’s idiot. What I think is beautiful, you may find ugly and so on. Now, if someone only wants to learn Metallica songs, I teach them without question and weave theoretical aspects into the lessons—making the often dry theory come alive in the context of something they actually like even if the musicians in Metallica are hacks (I’m just joking around).
This I think is beyond merely accepting others, it’s transcending the thought process entirely. I’m so reminded of one of my favorite poems by Bukowski, The Genius of The Crowd, particularly in the following lines This is only an excerpt:
there is enough treachery, hatred violence absurdity in the average
human being to supply any given army on any given dayand the best at murder are those who preach against it
and the best at hate are those who preach love
and the best at war finally are those who preach peacebeware the preachers
beware the knowers
beware those who are always reading books
beware those who either detest poverty
or are proud of it
beware those quick to praise
for they need praise in return
beware those who are quick to censor
they are afraid of what they do not know
beware those who seek constant crowds for
they are nothing alone
beware the average man the average woman
beware their love, their love is average
seeks averagethey will attempt to destroy anything
that differs from their own
not being able to create art
they will not understand art
they will consider their failure as creators
only as a failure of the world
not being able to love fully
they will believe your love incomplete
and then they will hate you
and their hatred will be perfect
To me, this poem, while dark, illustrates perfectly the disease of the human condition. The urge we sometimes have to force our own views on others—the shallow veil we toss around in our own quest to be perceived as accepting of others—is often a cloak.
To transcend this thought process completely is probably inhuman, but is something to strive for. We can say things like, “Though I’m a devout Christian, I do accept followers of Islam.” But is that just window dressing? Or is it true? After Michael Richard’s (who played Kramer in the TV series Seinfeld) ugly display of blatant racism last year in a stand up routine he said, “But some of my best friends are black.”
Ah yes, his true colors shined vulgar and his statement waxed disingenuous. He no longer insults African Americans in his stand-up, but is he merely shrouding his true feelings? I hope he has now grown up. The point is, it’s better to be at peace and not have hatred to hide in the first place. In trying to create art, write or whatever—why worry about what others think? Do what you do and be the best that you can be. Simplicity always unclouds the mind.
Questions:
- Do you accept people for who they are or just say you do? (this is a trick question)
- Is it wrong to judge another artist’s work, put them down or see yourself or what you like as more qualified?
- If someone degrades you, calls you names or criticizes you, do you feel the need for retaliation?
- Is Stephen King’s criticism OK with you? Is it good to point out that a writer can be famous and suck at the same time?
#1 by Eric "Speedcat Hollydale" at March 12th, 2009
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Human nature is a strong force. I truly believe that many actions and thoughts we have are not based on logic, as we are emotionally driven creatures. To look and judge is the way we process infromation based on the brains rolodex of past memories. Like a card catologue, memories are stored in and around similar ones. Did you ever notice that when you see someone for the first time your eyes connect with old aquintences … “this person looks like so and so”. Judgment calls, and ultimately predjudice opinions are instantanious, and based on the mass of previous information we as people have gathered.
We all have what we “see” as logic, and a natural and obvious path to it, yet only in a utopian society would these thoughts all match. How boring would that be anyway!! Anyone that claims not to have their own personal belief system and an adgenda of what is deemed correct or “right” is fooling themselves. We are just not built that way. I find that people that hold opposite traits to my own are indeed valueable. They can compliment my own, and in some cases sway them. Diversity and colors in our species make us human.
I never liked Spock … what a boring friend he would be !!!!
#2 by Revellian at March 12th, 2009
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Hi Eric! I was once in a band and we practiced at the drummer’s house. He incessantly preached against racism, and I agreed with him. One day, I brought a black guy over to play bass and he wouldn’t let him in the house because he thought he might steal something—which kinda proves the essence of Bukowski’s poem (which I happened to read the very first time that same night by freakish coincidence and it was burned onto my memory). When it comes to things like religion & politics, we are all wrong and nobody knows anything other than their own opinion, which is always based on the opinion of others. For me, it is useless to even have such opinions. Ultimately, it would wonderful to be free from all opinion—and even if I had one, to know in my heart that it wouldn’t matter even if I did . . . to let that which does not matter slide. Humans are animals, and all the bickering and senseless arguments are irrelevant even if we die. I say live with vibrancy and for love, and the rest can do what it will
#3 by Avery K Tingle at March 12th, 2009
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As always, great post. I think when humanity, as a whole, learns to accept each others viewpoints and stops trying to force their own down everyone’s throats, we can turn ourselves around. Great blog, Bobby.
#4 by Revellian at March 12th, 2009
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Thanks Avery! Sometimes I think just having strong opinions (like in politics or religion), and accepting others for what they believe is really admitting—on some cosmically primordial level—you are just as incorrect as the people you “accept”. I ask this: how can we truly accept another person’s beliefs if our own beliefs contradict the very essence of their entire being? Isn’t it like saying, “Though this person is wrong about everything down to their core, I will still not hate them.” ???
#5 by Eric "Speedcat Hollydale" at March 12th, 2009
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I think the core of this is how we react to “judgements”. While it may be imposible to become static in opinion, an acceptance and love of “all” people is somewhat attainable. The coldest heart sees only one route, while the warmest travels freely on the diverse paths of life.
#6 by Revellian at March 12th, 2009
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I understand what you mean about how we react to judgments—both our own and ones against us. But what if we eliminate the judgment from our being and have no judgment to react to in the first place? And when we are harshly judged by others, to already be so filled with love, there is no place on our souls for the claws to latch hold?
A warm heart filled with love, at peace with itself and the world regardless of what happens seems to be the apex of all philosophical and human thought. To know the only thing we control is ourselves, and the world does what it wants. Thanks so much for chatting with me Eric, it really means a lot
#7 by Mitchell Allen at March 13th, 2009
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What does it mean to repudiate the effects of a life-time of natural and nurturing influences?
The very idea that it is somehow wrong to be what you are leads to a mental Moebius march toward madness.
Without dredging up all of the keywords and -osophies that would bog down this reply, I ask that you consider the foundation of self. Then compare it to your understanding of society.
Ask yourself these questions:
1. Who makes the definitions?
2. Who makes the rules?
3. Who enforces the rules?
4. What is (are) the motivation(s) for definitions, rules and enforcement?
Finally, upon which axis does human happiness depend: nature or nurture?
I don’t have answers, except for myself.
I find it amusing that glibness finds its way into the nature vs. nurture debate:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nature_vs._Nurture
Hebb’s response is an good example of your premise. Yet, in the same vein, a valid reply might be that the length contributes more to the area of a rectangle! The only reason I’m going to elaborate is to share the idea that how one perceives a thing determines how one reacts to it:
Consider a square with 50 inch sides. The area of the square is 2500 sq. in.
If you add 10 inches to one dimension, you create a rectangle that is 50″ x 60″. No matter which dimension you choose, the new area will be 3000 sq. in.
Now, consider a rectangle that has a length of 100 inches and a width of 50 inches.
The area of this rectangle is 5000 sq. in.
If you add 10 inches to the width, you create a rectangle that is 100″ x 60″. The new area will be 6000 sq. in.
If, instead, you return to the original rectangle and add 10 inches to the length, you create a rectangle that is 110″ x 50″. The new area will be 5500 sq. in. To me, that indicates that the length contributes more to the area than the width, because ANY INCREASE IN THE WIDTH (UP TO AND INCLUDING MATCHING THE LENGTH) INCREASES THE AREA BY A LARGER FACTOR THAN THE SAME INCREASE APPLIED TO THE LENGTH.
Now, I’m not asserting a truth. If you really look at what I just wrote, you can perceive the exact opposite … and be just as correct. (The width could contribute more because it “leverages” the increase in length more efficiently than the length does the increase in width.)
You could also seriously perceive it as Hebb intended, and be no less correct than any other person.
Do you see why I think that unraveling introspection through the lens of non-self leads to madness?
Madness or not, your posts are always thought-provoking.
Cheers,
Mitch
#8 by Revellian at March 13th, 2009
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Thanks for your deeply meaningful comment Mitch! I’m undergoing another spiritual revolution in my own mind; letting go of all the hate I ever had, meaningless opinions that only seem to agitate the world and just be myself. I remember last year during many conversations you and I had about politics, and looking back at most of what I wrote . . . I feel quite foolish. I’m reevaluating my entire outlook because I became tired of being mad at the world. When I watch the news, for example, it’s all so negative: the world is coming to an end, the economy is collapsing, people freaking hate each other. While I do care about the world and the people in it, I cannot let it destroy me.
Earlier, I wondered exactly why I don’t like science fiction, stories about people with magical powers and so forth—and why I tend to like fiction based in reality. Well, I couldn’t come up with a valid reason other than it must have been some idiotic reason from my early years. And then I thought, since I write such wild imagery, why not eliminate my views altogether? Maybe I would love writing those types of stories. Hell, I might even be good at it.
Though in that wiki article, it was mentioned the question about nature vs. nurture is outdated, it struck me that some elitist professor created that opinion lol!
“upon which axis does human happiness depend: nature or nurture?”
Hahaha…I have no idea, and honestly, ultimately is irrelevant. I’ve come to the conclusion that most all philosophy, critical thinking and so forth is basically useless. One person spends their life trying to prove their theory about the human condition, another true to prove them wrong. To me it just doesn’t matter. That’s not living to me. This is not to say Einstein wasted his time proving the theory of relativity, but that explaining every aspect of the human condition is asinine.
I’ll wear my own rose colored glasses, not because I’m ignorant as many would say dying to grind the lenses in dust with a thick heel, but because I choose to. Sure the world is ugly if that’s what one chooses to see, but I’m tired at looking at the ugly and letting it make me sad. I choose personal happiness until I die. Sometimes, thinking too much can spawn madness. I say just live and be yourself, the world will be what it is
#9 by Svasti at March 13th, 2009
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I think its very easy for human beings to imagine they are correct in their observations. Even those who, like you and I and some of your other readers, and plenty of wonderful yogi types I know and love… an easy resting place for our thought processes is tempting, always.
Personally, I think the best thing we can do is find people we can have open and honest conversations with. To whom we can say whatever we feel/think. And ideally, those people we’re talking to aren’t afraid to call us on our own B/S when what we say stinks.
And we all do it, in one way or another at various points.
I think the goal is to accept people for who they are, but of course one has to ask – do they even know who they are?
And yeah, we’ll always think we’re behaving rationally (even certifiable people can think they’re rational), and its a matter of reflection… and how much we care about our own level of awareness.
I don’t know if its wrong to put down another artist. Like you say, I think its cool to say you’re not a fan. But then, for some reason I have an irrational dislike of Nicole Kidman as an actress (not as a person). I simply think she’s very limited in her range, and generally, isn’t very good. I resent that she won an Oscar for The Hours as others who were nominated that year were more deserving – in my opinion!
Is it okay to have an opinion? I think so, but as long as you recognise that other people will disagree, and just because they disagree… its not cause for a war. Just different preferences.
There’s probably a bunch of teenage girls who love Meyer’s writing (its age appropriate) and have probably never gotten into King’s work. I certainly don’t read the same literature that I did as a teenager!
Then, I’ve also read the Twilight series – it was a bit of a guilty pleasure. Enjoyable, like popcorn. Sure, its not Shakespeare but it was still fun to read.
#10 by Revellian at March 13th, 2009
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Hi Svasti! I’ve reached the point where opinion just seems almost ridiculous, especially if we really believe we are right. Yeah, I’ll talk to anyone about anything, but when someone gets in my face or aggressively trying to change my views I listen rather than shut them out, because I’m open minded and don’t get upset easily. Years ago when someone told me they were religious, I would immediately think, “This person’s entire belief on everything is absolutely incorrect,” and they lost credibility with me—much like someone you’re dating saying, “The moon is made of cheese and I believe humans were designed by an alien cockroach named Leroy.” And if they truly believed that, I, like most people would think them a fool. But now, I’ve rid myself of those thoughts. I don’t care and they are no less wacky than anyone else.
I’m no fan of Nicole Kidman either, I’ve never seen her in a movie I liked haha! I think The English Patient was the worst movie ever made and it won best picture. The oscars, grammys and every other type of award is just ridiculous and has nothing to do with talent. There are millions of unsigned writers better than 99% of any popular mainstream writer. There are unknown 10 year old musicians who are geniuses that will remain eternally unknown. The people in charge of government often know less than an average Joe flipping burgers for a living. I think Angelina Jolie is ugly and manly (and so do many of my guy friends) but Hollywood says she’s the most beautiful woman on earth. HAHAHAHAHA!!!! But hey, I’m just a human and none of this matters anyway.
You’re right, it is fun to criticize some people. See . . . you made me laugh
#11 by floreta at March 13th, 2009
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I heard about Stephen King’s review but hadn’t read it yet. Thanks for the link. I tend to agree with him that Meyer can’t write but that she has developed a cult following with a story that first developed from her dreams is pretty amazing in itself. For me, it just gives me more hope that I could someday publish something.
As for King, I respect him as a writer but like you, I’m not into his stories. It’s not my typical genre and I clump him with the likes of Koontz.. The few King books I have read as a teen I have enjoyed though.
I hear you about the music! I love Stravinsky’s Rites of Spring and take a sort of pride in my eclectic and certainly not average musical tastes. Coltrane and Miles Davis, Fela Kuti.. Great respect for jazz and improvisation artists! I’ve been starting to dabble with improv myself and I must say, it’s a lot funner, freer and more empowering than reading notes on a page. But I appreciate my classical background ’cause I believe it’s an essential basis!
As far as perspective, sure.. There have been lots of times that I’ve been cocky and think that my view is better than anothers.. I just try to be tolerant. When I declared myself an atheist I thought people who believed in God weren’t as smart. Now that I am more lenient on my views I think atheists are fooling themselves! But I’m humbled by other perspectives so it’s always good to keep yours in check.
#12 by Revellian at March 13th, 2009
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Hi Floreta! I personally love to write extreme sickening fiction, but it’s not really horror though it is related to horror. Stephen King and Dean Koontz bore me and are too mainstream. I just cannot write anything mainstream, pop-cultural or what most people expect in a story and never will. The only horror authors I really like are H.P. Lovecraft and Clive Barker, though I don’t consider them an influence on me. I suppose any writer, even an unskilled one, can become famous. I would much rather be a truly great writer with a smaller following. Being really huge or popular is not my goal, being original and having an undeniable style is.
I LOVE classical, baroque, jazz (especially bebop like Parker, Gillespie, Art Tatum) and progressive metal though I can listen to anything (except country and most rap). That’s so cool you like the music I like!
When it comes to the big questions about religion, why we’re here and all that—there are no definitive answers. So I am more of an agnostic.
#13 by Jennifer at March 13th, 2009
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Bobby — This is another thought-provoking post and I wanted to leave a comment as I was dropping by to say: more later! Things have been busy for me this week. I’ll be by tonight to catch up, when I’ll be better able to respond.
#14 by John D at March 13th, 2009
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Hi, Bobby – I well remember when I first realized that the feeling of being right and certain was not objective truth but a personality trait. Up to then I had just assumed that my sharp judgment was right on target, that I always remembered things more accurately than others, etc. That’s an important moment for anyone. And now it baffles me that others don’t see that and are so cocksure they’re opinions are truth and everyone else sadly deluded or mistaken.
About opinions, I agree completely on the constant judgment about writers and artists – you get into this habit in academic circles (your reputation practically depends on it), but I’m so sick of hearing so and so is the greatest this or that of the century or of the last fifty years. Or writers dissing other writers. It seems like a form of zero sum thinking – there’s only so much success in the world and if you get some that means I’ll get less. Or your success is worth less than mine. It’s the urge to compete and conquer when there’s no prize to win. I’m happy to see a writer or an actor become successful because it’s so damn hard to build that kind of career.
I differ with you a bit on the uselessness of all opinions. Granted we have absolutely no effect on the great events of the day or the powerful politicians, yet we get so hard and fast about what’s right or wrong and waste a lot of energy on that stuff. There are times, though, when you hear people confidently asserting ideas that are so at variance with your fundamental beliefs that you have to stand up for what you value in the world. That has nothing to do with influencing the course of history but a lot to do with affirming core values that are part of you.
No one can drop back completely from having and expressing strong opinions because everyone is not just a private person but also a citizen, voter, community member, consumer having an impact on the world through what we choose to buy or do, etc. We’re going to make choices every day that have consequences outside of our own lives, and we’d better do that in an informed way – and share our ideas and opinions about what’s right and wrong.
Not, of course, that I think I’m always right.
Thanks once more for a great post.
John
#15 by Revellian at March 14th, 2009
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@Jennifer: Hey! Take your time…you know my pace here is largo
@John: Well for each of who truly think, study a wide variety of subjects and love to learn; often come to a place where we believe the truth is at hand. That’s when in my opinion, our cups become full ala Lao Tzu and we perhaps in some way stop learning.
I agree with you about the “this is the greatest book” or “this is the greatest musician”. When I read that most scholars consider Anna Karenina to be the greatest book ever written, I wondered how something like that is qualified. Sure it’s a great book, but definitely doesn’t appeal to everyone and is not my favorite. It’s irrelevant. I love many writers, artists, music and non of it is competition. Some of the worst books I’ve ever read were on the NYT best sellers list and so forth. I appreciate every writer the same whether they are famous, unsuccessful or just have a little ol’ blog.
As long as we are free we will all disagree, that’s just the nature of democracy—though I don’t believe we are free enough. I really don’t believe opinions are useless, I just took that position to make myself and my readers think. We of course should stand up for what’s right, but always know at least half the world will always oppose it. Within that flux of balance is where we all live. Thanks so much! You always make me think
#16 by Jennifer at March 14th, 2009
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Giving up the need to force one’s views upon others is a worthy goal. I’ve been turning over this post in my mind for the last day or so, thinking about how vital it is to let go of the impulse to judge and to strong-arm others into taking on one’s opinions. It’s not so easy to let go of some of this (and I’m only thinking about artistic judgment; getting into political views, etc. is a totally different category in my mind).
I make judgments all the time about the quality of other peoples’ writing, though I’ve been fighting it more and more in myself. Almost anyone with a blog also has the urge to write. They think about it, they probably struggle with it, they experience the same feelings I do when putting together a post or a story. There are plenty of published writers who I can’t read, who may resort to cliche or may overwrite or perhaps put things in a way that inadvertently amuses me (and yes, I have read many things out loud to laugh at these writers; this was something my mother and I did a lot when I was a kid). But they’ve all gone through the same struggle and have the same creative impulse.
In the writing class I’m taking, we respond to our partner’s short pieces by pointing out all the things we like about them. It’s a great way of seeing things and of encouraging the good.
And with that, I hear the pitter patter of my son’s feet. He’s up and I have to skedaddle … Thanks for a post that turns out to be very timely for me!
#17 by Revellian at March 14th, 2009
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Hi Jennifer! I’m taking a fresh new approach in saying I have no favorite genre, or that there’s no genre I dislike; all have something to offer from mysteries to love stories to horror to personal triumph and modern authors can put all these elements in their stories.
I suppose I can’t like everything and perhaps some people probably shouldn’t be writers (just like some people can’t sing and should do something else haha). What I do know is there are many unknown writers with blogs who easily have as much talent as any famous author. I read probably 20 articles (mostly interviews with literary agents) yesterday on the Poets & Writers site. Wow…they are all so different, which reinforces my view that first you must have a great manuscript done (probably two) and find that one enthusiastic agent believing in your work.
I think it boils down to the fact that it really doesn’t matter what other people write, do or say—it matters what you do. I often think if I had an exciting life I probably wouldn’t be a writer lol
#18 by Eren- my son's dalmatian birthday party at March 14th, 2009
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I sooo understand where you are coming from on this one.
I have seen a general lack of empathy in people. We need to really put ourselves in other people’s shoes. It’s the best way to be.
My rule of thumb is- if this person were my brother, mother or child, would I say things in this way?
I try to always put myself in other people’s shoes. And when I hear judgmental thoughts from others I try to help them see it from that person’s perspective.(Then they usually get irritated with me for “defending” the other person.)
I’ve suffered and seen so many people suffer from legalistic judgmental people. If we say the truth without degrading the other person we will go so much further.
I am also a composer – have never had any of my songs recorded but maybe someday?
This post reminded me of a song that I wrote about injustice in Portuguese. I think I’ll translate it to English.
All the best,
Eren
#19 by Jeunelle Foster at March 14th, 2009
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Excellent blog post.
The Blogcatalog can be both fascinating and scary to watch at the same time. We have some that are very creative and post some original discussions to share with other members on the bc platform and some who only come out to criticize and complain about those who are simply being creative.
The behavior is like that of a nagging old crone.
The old hate the young and they come out to kill growth and creativity. They must be so proud of themselves because ever since I’ve been a member, those same said few are still allowed to continue to remain judgmental and overly critical.
This may seem like a weed killer but I have a different view. Those who are fighters and choose to stay and stick it out while continuing to participate by being creative in the community will continue to keep the community afloat while those who continue to criticize the community ignores and turns their backs on them.
Sort of like some native american tribes where if you continue to do wrong in that community, the community literally turns their backs to you and you become the outcast of the community. A man without a country.
#20 by Revellian at March 14th, 2009
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@Eren: That’s a great rule of thumb to live by. From another perspective, sometimes it does someone good to hear the truth in a powerful way. If we just coddle people and are nice about everything, many important lessons can be missed. There’s a time and place to be brutally honest as well as a time & place to simply be empathetic. When it comes to a human art like music or writing, we should all be supported to get involved. Not all of us can be great artists, but can certainly enjoy learning
@Jeunelle: Thanks again for telling me about the virus problem on blogcatalog, I noticed today the problem has been fixed. Well, there are many subcultures in the blogging community. I wonder if there is an actual branch of sociology dealing with the Internet yet, it would be interesting to read about. I tend to float between cliques and groups just like I do in life, but I prefer he company of introspective creative folks or people who really think. Some people like you said like to destroy and cause problems, but they serve only to be examples of how not to act. The world is full of complainers, critics, experts and I really ignore most of them lol
#21 by celebicepop at March 15th, 2009
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Hi, I noticed you are a talented writer and so I’d like to invite you to be a columnist blogger over at http://www.icepop.com. IcePop is a Community Blog where you can be a columnist and write about the latest Celebrity News and Film Reviews. You get Front page exposure, Your own bio, URL to your website, Profile picture and columnist banners! You can write as often or as little as you like, no stress! Great exposure for your own websites/blogs.Please pass by and take a peep. Thanks Leah aka http://www.creative-blogger.com.
#22 by Eren Mckay at March 15th, 2009
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What you said is very true. Sometimes there is a need to be brutally honest.
My best friend has serious depression and has tried to kill herself several times. I seem to intuitively know when brutal honesty will help her and when to stand back and not say anything because it would just stick her into a bigger whole and not help her one bit.
It all boils down to true love.
Love is always wanting the best for that other person. Sometimes the best means a wake up call and sometimes the best means empathy.
What reeeeaaaallly irritates me is when people are “telling it like it is” with no love whatsoever. They have no love in their hearts. They are only saying things for selfish reasons.
These are judgmental hypocrites. And frankly they make me nauseous. I cringe when I see people like this.
It all boils down to intent. Is the intent love or selfishness?
I can tell by the depths of your posts that you are an artist.
That’s why I love reading your posts.
Blessings,
Eren Mckay
#23 by Revellian at March 15th, 2009
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@Leah: I don’t know, but I will think about it:)
@Eren: So true! As long as we’re guided by love and our intention is true—knowing when and how to handle things will be more wise. I really appreciate you coming here and sharing your thoughts. The love vs. selfishness is definitely the root of this entire discussion. Thanks for putting it into perspective for me
#24 by Evelyn at March 15th, 2009
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Guilty of a lot of this. It’s rare to find a human being that doesn’t have some of these traits, at least once in a while. Unfortunately, some of us have all of them all too often. Sigh. But, we just keep trying.
Trying to be non-judgmental is very difficult because we tend to do it without even realizing it. Is it human nature or is it a bad habit? I know some of us need to look in the mirror. I don’t like my mirror sometimes. A lot of the time.
#25 by Revellian at March 15th, 2009
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We’re all guilty of this Evelyn, especially me. People are so quick to judge; I like this, I hate that, this sucks, this is great—and on and on.
I watched two TV shows earlier: The 50 sexiest women and men and was like, who cares? To me, the sexiest women they proclaimed to be were based on fame. Why don’t they celebrate ugliness or who is the fattest? With the world in financial ruin, it’s hard to believe people still base their lives on useless opinions about irrelevant vanity hahaha!
#26 by Evelyn at March 15th, 2009
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I was going to make the comment that there are other reasons I hate my mirror too.
Can’t help it. The older we get, the worse that mirror gets — nasty piece of glass! LOL!
#27 by Revellian at March 15th, 2009
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I no longer use a mirror, I base my entire life on asking the opinions of others. You know, “Do I look OK?” Hahaha…that’s good enough for me. Yeah, those mirrors can be evil sometimes
#28 by teeni at March 28th, 2009
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I guess, Stephen King, like everyone, is entitled to his opinion. I think that Ms. Meyer writes just fine for her intended audience. And, to her credit she has been successful at it. Although I’m sure that her timing could not have been better when I notice that my teenaged nieces were all pretty interested in vampire romance novels right before her books came out. She may not technically be a great writer but she isn’t as bad as some. And although I enjoyed many of Mr. King’s novels, there are plenty that I found to be have long, drawn-out, boring sections to them and some just didn’t interest me at all. So yeah, even good and great writers will have stories that are not good. And then there is personal taste, as you said. I think Mr. King voiced his opinion, but I think he could have been less scathing and rather than judge, he could just have said that he didn’t prefer her writing. After all, everyone can decide for themselves what type of reading they want to do and I don’t think she was cutting into his income in any manner.
#29 by Revellian at March 31st, 2009
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Hi Teeni! Sorry for the delayed response. In my opinion, King has nothing to complain about as he’s sold so many books it’s ridiculous. Meyer is like a pop musician (like Britney Spears), famous because maddened hordes of 10 year old girls buy her work. Honestly, I don’t even read horror and will not try to write it because the market is so over-saturated with writers all trying to do the same thing. I’ll stick to the transgressional genre as it fits my personality like a cold, wet glove. There’s not much competition in my genre (mostly because it’s not popular), but popularity is not what I’m going for. As far as I’m concerned, Meyer is awesome, and knows how to deliver to her audience. She knows her audience better than 99% of the writers out there, so I say hats off to her.
#30 by Chaitanya Sagar, Excel Expert at April 15th, 2009
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Hi Revell,
That is in fact a very good article and especially the poem, I love it so much.
It happens often in our life that we are much inclined to criticize somebody than praises him/her. None of us is exempted because this is part of human nature. Criticism is a bad habit because it not only solves nothing; it contributes to the anger and distrust in our world. When we judge or criticize another person, we are spreading negative energy causing the object of our criticism to react in fear or shame and much worse in anger and hostility towards us.
What you wrote is absolutely correct and it reveals the fact of human nature.