I got a new job this week! The reason I decided to get a real job is because I haven’t paid taxes in three years…haha. So, what do I do for a living? Currently, I teach guitar lessons, which I’ve been doing off and on since I was a teenager. My business is steady and relies 100% on word of mouth advertising. I also repair, rebuild and occasionally refinish guitars. If you’re interested, I wrote about my career as a guitar design engineer in Jobs and Careers: My Journey to Happiness. I also repair computers but that’s another story.
I have people tell me all the time, “Wow, that sounds like a fun job!”
It can be fun but not always. I have 17 students right now, which about average – sometimes I’ll get an influx of new people, but most don’t last; I’m a very serious instructor and cannot teach beginners. Before I’ll consider teaching someone, I prefer they have several years of experience and already know how to read music.
I will occasionally take a beginner but only if they are serious. When it comes to young kids wanting to play guitar, 90% of the time it’s a parent that just wants them out of the house for an hour. I have a friend who teaches those kinds of kids and he has no problem taking their money even though he knows they are wasting their money. I can’t do that; I demand they actually practice.
Last week, I had a guy come by for his first lesson (I was recommended to him through a friend, so I accepted because I trust his judgment). The guy is in his early 30’s, plays professionally, has long greasy looking hair and is covered in tattoos – basically, he looks like Slash from Guns N’ Roses. I get a lot of guys who have played rock music for years but get to the point where they want to learn more about Jazz and music theory, which is my specialty.
He walks in my house with a guitar nestled under his arm, a partial six-pack of beer in his left hand, an open beer in his right and a lit cigarette in his crusty mouth. He says, “Yo dude, what’s up…is Bobby here?”
I said, “I’m Bobby.”
“What?…no way dude, you don’t look like the guitarist my boy told me about. Is this the right house?” he belched out.
“Yo dude…like, you know man…I don’t mean to be rude, but like…you need to put that beer back in your car, put that cigarette out…and yes, this is the right house, my name is Bobby. If you are serious about lessons here, you need to show it.” I firmly asserted, sounding like a dimwit surfer dude…haha! (my “boy” failed to tell me about his bad habits!)
I wasn’t very excited about my new student to say the least (I really don’t care what he does in his free time, but I take my lessons seriously). So, we are sitting there with our guitars and he says, “You don’t look like a guitarist…well, impress me or something so I can decide if I want to pay you for lessons.”
I busted out laughing, I just couldn’t help it – this guy was a perfect example of why I’ve lost some of my love for teaching. I told him to play a ii-v-i chord progression through the cycle of fourths and I would solo. Before he could say anything I said, “On four…one, two, three…”
With head tilted and eyebrows cocked, he said, “Hold on dude…what? Say all that in English.”
He pulled out a bag of marijuana and said, “We should get high first, that way I can concentrate.”
I ended the lesson at that point! What is the world coming to? Before he left, I charged him $17.50 for the 30 wasted minutes (it took him nearly that long to actually sit down). I think I hurt his feelings when I told him that I was a guitar teacher not a baby sitter, and he didn’t “qualify as a student”. I told him to not feel bad, I normally charge $30.00 for 30 minutes, which I discounted just for him!
What does a guitarist look like? I guess my beer swizzling, dope smoking student has that down pat – just not the playing part (hey, at least Slash actually can play). When I go to the IRS to pay back taxes, I’ll tell my case manager – with a psychedelic bandanna wrapped around my head and pungent liquor breath, “You don’t look like an IRS agent…can we get high before we start? It helps me concentrate!”
I will tell you all about my new job in an upcoming post along with the reasons I already despise it! 
