Whew. I have been away from blogging for a few days because of depression..again. It can sometimes be an embarrassing nuisance. I think I might just be insane. After writing an article, Happiness and Depression are Choices, I didn’t expect to be stricken down with my life long adversary so intensely. While I do believe it is largely a choice, I do realize I have a chemical imbalance that strikes without warning and hits with ferocious power.
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Archive for category life personal
I’ve never been a materialistic person. I could lose everything I own because ultimately, it means absolutely nothing to me. My most prized possessions are my guitars – all of which I built myself from scratch – yet I would not shed a single tear if they burned in a fire. Actually, I have given many of them away as gifts to friends and family. Sure I like them, but I do not love them. It is impossible for me as a human being to love any inanimate object.
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Remembering 9-11 and Praying
Sep 12
It’s 1:00 AM here as I’m writing this. I’ve been watching several documentaries about 9-11, including a rerun of the entire ordeal as it happened on that day. I really appreciate MSNBC running all this footage even though I normally despise their liberal slant. I really wanted to write this yesterday, but I wasn’t ready.
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What Happened To Me?
Aug 29
I know there are a few people out there who are wondering what happened to me. I cannot go into details, but I will share a little. An extremely close family member may have cancer and I’m awaiting the results of medical tests. We will know something next week. My father died from it and I really don’t want to go through it again. Let’s leave it at that for now.
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If you’re at all familiar with martial arts (karate, kung-fu, etc.) you’ve probably heard of Dim Mak (which translates to ‘press artery’), aka the poison touch or poison hand among many slang terms. This is where a highly skilled martial arts expert touches you and you are knocked out or killed without any apparent force. The idea of having magical like powers after learning martial art “secrets” has been tantalizing enthusiasts for hundreds of years. Is it real or a load of crap?
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I’ve been fighting a seriously dark melancholy the past few days and am struggling to stay sane. Yesterday, I cut the yard and worked up a good sweat out in the heat. I had to do something to get myself out of this depression. I was born depressed, and to just not feel down for one day is so wonderful, I cannot explain it.
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I’ve suffered from severe depression my entire life and experienced much sadness. Severing toxic friendships has been a necessity for me, but it has also nearly destroyed me. It is my hope that tis article will help someone out there, even if it’s only one person.
When I grew up, I never fit in to the normal cliques, I was extremely rebellious and my friends were too. All of my friends used drugs, I sincerely mean every single one of them. I can’t name a single person I know who doesn’t use drugs or have a severe drinking problem, except for my immediate family.
I’m not going get into detail – not because I don’t want to, but because I can’t. Actually, I’m not allowed to right now. Basically, my friends started going to prison. One of my best friends from highschool, Brian, lost his mind. He tried to kill his own mother with a butcher knife. His father beat him half to death with a baseball bat and saved her life. He was committed to a mental ward and is now a vegetable who lives on government disability.
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