My new friend Miragi asked me some questions about depression. She is the author of several blogs such as Stitch Witch and Read Between My Lines. I was pleasantly surprised and am more than happy to answer. I am an expert on being depressed and over time, have conquered it for the most part; although, I do occasionally fall in the abyss of misery.
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Posts Tagged anti depressant medications
Dealing With Depression
Feb 15
This has been a rough few months for me personally though I fake being happy everyday of my life. You smile at people, exchanging niceties all the while your world is falling apart. You pretend everything is alright even though – deep inside, you know it isn’t.
I’ve been taking a break from blogging because of dealing with depression. I used to share extremely intimate outpourings here and I have made many mistakes of getting way too personal. I’ve read where many people say you should draw a line on just how personal you get here; I definitely agree with that.
I have taken 3 different anti-depressant medications over the past several months and each seemed to work somewhat effectively for a little while but then they seem to make things worse. I have had really bad effects from these drugs, some of them I couldn’t tolerate.
If I feel like I’m going to cry, I can’t. It’s like some strange cerebral shield has overtaken my emotions. It’s like having the instinctual desire to scream in fear but you don’t as to avoid giving up your position, like in a war where enemy soldiers are hunting you down. You want to laugh but something so unfunny is keeping you from it but you don’t know what it is.
The drugs make me feel as if I’m under a powerful control, one that freezes my emotions. One feeling remains during all this, a terrifying sadness that seems to permeate my entire being. Little things that normally wouldn’t register become magnified to the point of absolute insanity – yet I cannot cry, get mad, laugh it off or forget it! It’s a feeling I just cannot deal with.
Depression, in my case, usually comes out of the blue while in the midst of feeling great and is completely unprovoked. After that point, every little thing triggers a worsened condition. I know I probably have a brain chemistry imbalance (which 7 different doctors have agreed upon), but the medications seem to only make it worse.
I have decided to stop these medications and go a natural route like I did for twenty or so years before I received medical help (plus it’s just too expensive). I am armed with much new knowledge than ever before. I believe that I will be successful in dealing with these problems and will take any good advice from anyone who has some.
I apologize for not visiting many people the past several days, but I really needed a break. My weekly “Bobby’s Batch” will be postponed until later next week. Thanks so much to all my friends who are so supportive of me. After 15 days of not taking my meds, I’m finally feeling normal again!
