Today is a sad day here in Long Beach, Mississippi. I woke up this morning and immediately caught a whiff of Mrs. Stankovich roasting a delicious town breakfast for us all. I put on my tattered overalls and rode my mule, Buckwild, seven miles to the town feeding trough. She prepared my favorite, charcoal grilled Great Horned Owl topped with a refreshing, nostril dilating menthol-garlic gravy. Since childhood, the tender flesh of owl has been the standard of delicious cuisine around this area. It was scrumptious.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posts Tagged funny-stuff
Which do do think is a better place to go, heaven or hell? Let’s contemplate some unusual scenarios to find out. An old friend of mine, Damien Van Damne, died on the surgery room table after falling 10 stories onto a pile of razor sharp scrap metal; they ended up bringing him back to life.
After a few weeks of recovery, I visited him at the Miskatonic University Medical Center. This is what he told me (keep in mind he has no legs, no arms, a disfigured face, one lung was removed and his blood is filtered through dialysis because his kidneys are ruptured…somehow, he is upbeat and happy to be alive):
Read the rest of this entry »
My Funniest E-mail
Aug 7
My friend Don sent me this e-mail:
AN URGENT FRIENDLY WARNING
ATTENTION
ALIENS ARE COMING TO ABDUCT ALL THE GOOD LOOKING AND SEXY PEOPLE.
YOU WILL BE SAFE, I’M JUST EMAILING TO SAY GOODBYE.
Bloodclott Cocktail
Feb 10
The Bloodclot My signature “cocktail food”
- 5 oz Everclear Grain Alcohol
- 5 oz tomato juice
- 5 oz buttermilk (with buttercurds)
- frosted mug
- mix together
- let stand 5 min (to coagulate)
- Enjoy with a strawpoon
