A few years ago, I had a job working for the Army Core of Engineers to assess storm damage after hurricane Katrina. I had a bad crush on one of the office girls named Maria, who made my heart palpitate so intensely, I almost passed out every time I talked to her.
One afternoon, they were telling jokes…really lame jokes. I pretended to laugh and Maria noticed my bad acting. She said, “Well now…why don’t you tell us a joke Bobby?”
I was petrified. The only jokes I know are sick or extremely dirty – I felt like Richard Pryor at his filthiest in a room full of nuns. I thought of the most unoffensive joke I know and asked, “How do you unload a truckload of dead babies?”
Seven disgusted faces stared at me. Maria asked apprehensively, “How?”
I busted out laughing, “With a pitchfork…hahaha!”
Maria burst into tears – one of the other women immediately hugged her and said, “You piece of shit…Maria’s baby was stabbed to death last month with a flounder gig by some sicko scumbag.”
“Oh my God! I’m so sorry. I didn’t know…I never meant to cause any…”
Maria cut me off, “Leave…leave and never come back.”
I said, “Does this mean you won’t go out with me?”
“I’m married you jerkoff piece of human garbage…I HOPE YOU DIE! NOW GET OUT!”
I was fired a few minutes later for verbal assault and escorted off premises by armed guards.
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