I have not been blogging much lately because I have gone insane. I lost it (the ‘it’ people refer to as a necessity to function in society) last week when my paranoid delusions culminated in a severe breakdown – an unhinged instability churning like tornadic razors, gnawing at my sanity. It all started with a nervous energy, a twitching vibration of seething diffidence slithering betwixt my epidermis and subcutaneous fat.
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Posts Tagged psychoses
Psychotic Fiesta
Sep 15
Quirk
Jun 26
What exactly is a quirk? It sounds like a grotesque, protruding nodule or growth that requires surgery, “I can’t come into work today, I have a grisly quirk on my tender inner thigh and it’s dripping fluid!”
Mr. Boss says, “Yeech…stay home. Don’t come here and spread that nasty virus…take five weeks if you need it! Powder your leg and don’t wear tight jeans for a few days”
Here’s a photo manipulation (on my Linux box with the Gimp) I did last year of my friend Randy Hover, it’s quite quirky and striking. I did several variations trying to achieve a realistic picture using the free open source Gimp software (which is a bitch to get used to but is very powerful once you get used to it and are willing to persevere for long sessions to gain the skills needed. I didn’t plan to create a “snakeman” but his face predestinated itself into a lizard like or snake like morph:
The Snakeman (has a vicious bite)
The Snakeman (has a vicious bite)
Actually, a quirk is a weird or unusual habit. I was tagged by my good friend Jean Chia on her post [5] Annoying Things + [8] Habits + [6] Quirks to participate in this meme (I must have been insane when I wrote that ridiculous meme post!) and list six quirks of mine (I didn’t do the entire meme because I’m trying to score high for the “golden fleece” of keywords: quirk. I haven’t participated in a meme in quite a while, mostly because I became burned out on them awhile back. This one sounded like fun and I wanted to share how weird I really am with all of you. I don’t list the rules because if you don’t know how to do a meme, my blog is far too advanced for you – go cut your teeth and come back later.
- When someone is sweating and they get that little droplet of sweat hanging off their nose, I lose control – I cannot stand it. The surmounting pressure will build in my mind until I finally snap. I once shot a man because of it. His headless body is dissolving in a bathtub in Hell’s Kitchen.
- I floss my teeth several times per day because I cannot stand having anything between them. I carry dental floss, a toothbrush, toothpaste and a bottle of water in my vehicle and at work in case of emergencies.
- I get the “piss shivers” when I urinate. Sometimes the twitch is so spastic, I shake the contact lenses off my eyes right into the toilet – $10.00 down the commode. I am told that many men suffer from this affliction…especially while peeing outside on cold nights. Is this too much information?
- I don’t like shaking stranger’s hands. Some people find it rude, but that’s how cold and flu germs are passed. If I do shake someone’s hand, I cannot relax until I wash them with anti-bacterial soap and hot water. I like Donald Trump’s “no handshake policy”. The Asian’s have it right with a simple bow. The perfect excuse is to say, “Pardon me if I don’t shake hands, I’m a Buddhist,” and bow politely.
- I sleep with the lights on because I don’t want spiders crawling all over my body and face. A good friend of mine was bitten on the eyelid by a brown recluse (be sure to read my brown recluse story). His face rotted off and he lost his left eye. Years later, it’s still a vile open sore, along with being wet and draining pus. His friends call him “the cyclops” and I don’t want to end up like him.
- If I drive or walk somewhere, I have to return the exact same way or my psychic cable will get entangled around everything. I was once hospitalized in a mental ward because there was a road block and I had to drive home a different route than I originally came. I never got over it and have nightmares to this day.
Rule: If you do the meme, link the text “quirk” to this post as the anchor text, this will improve my search engine ratings for that highly prized keyword.
I tag the following people to reveal their six quirks (do it if you want, if not, I really just wanted to give you a link anyway:)
Marzie, Karen, Janice, Robin, Miss Money Penny, Michelle Gartner, Spaced Girl Hero, Etta Rose, Apple
Also, I want to thank Dan – DCR Blogs – for the great comments he left on my previous post How to Steal Blog Content: Ethically (check ‘em out). I learned a lot about copyright laws among other things. I learn something new every day from other bloggers. Dan is very smart and has a great site. You should take the time to meet him and check out his blog!
Psychedelic Psychoses
Nov 24
I have written some expressively negative elements into this blog lately and sometimes I wish I hadn’t. The world is never going to be perfect and I am fine with that. I’d like like mountains to be made of candy and little fluffy kitty cats nestled around everyone’s necks.
Outdoor air conditioning all summer to keep Santa cool as he delivers everyone presents every Saturday, all year long…sounds good? My next door neighbor said he could give me a special type of lobotomy in his garage that could achieve those results.
No…no more home surgery for me. After I messed up removing my own appendix in 1997, I cannot go that route. Of course I’m kidding, but the following story is true. I must share it with you.
Psychedelic Psychoses
I went to hang out with some friends one summer in high school, just to have fun and do what kids do. They made a big batch of jungle juice (punch mixed with lots of 190 proof grain alcohol) so us kids could get drunk and get a head start on pickling our livers.
I arrived late and most everyone was intoxicated, so being eager to get a buzz on, I had a few large glasses of the cloudy reddish fluid. I began feeling weird and hearing voices like people were breathing directly in my ears. I couldn’t seem to shake the unusual feeling.
I became overtaken with wild sensations of temperature flashes crawling throughout my body. My left hand was hot, but my right hand was ice cold! Everything before my eyes was distorted slightly. It seemed like dense sheets of clear, red plastic were wrapped around my head, making everything take on a crimson luminescence.
I walked over to a group of my friends and one of them was complaining of something similar. The sound of voices sounded like they traveled through long tubes, some like old radios. This older guy who looked like a hippie in his 40′s wearing a kaleidoscopic bandanna was talking about something that had everyone’s attention.
I stood in front of someones beautiful candy-apple red Corvette, my head swimming, my mouth parched dry. My vision became a narrow circle, getting smaller and smaller until it disappeared.
I awakened, lying in the ground. My shirt was covered in punch I had thrown up. Then the hippie said, “You guys might have picked the wrong ones. If you did, it would be a poisonous type that looks just like the right ones. Look at him, he’ll be dead in about 10 minutes, after the neurotoxins take hold of his involuntary muscle tissue. I’ve seen it happen many times. He is better off dead, after crushing the hood of that corvette, somebody is gonna be pissed!”
He was talking about me. “Picked what? What are you talking about?” I asked.
“Psychedelic mushrooms. Psilocybin. They got the wrong ones though. They picked baby shrooms and I told them to only get adults so we could identify them correctly. I’d be saying my last prayers if I were you.”
I was only 15 years old and scared out of my mind. The car I had fallen on had a crushed hood, as if someone took a sledgehammer to it. I began running and soon arrived at the edge of a highway. Cars were speeding back and forth and I was so disoriented I could not judge when to cross it to get to the store, which was just a short distance away.
I awakened again after apparently passing out a second time. I looked at the clear, black, midnight sky filled with fluffy white clouds. There were faces carved into them. Real, living faces looking directly into my eyes. Some smiled, some gave me expressive acknowledgments. I stared for what seemed several hours, drifting off to sleep.
I suddenly jumped onto my feet and somehow, I had crossed the highway but couldn’t remember doing it. I knew I had narrowly escaped being hit by a car. Scared out of my mind, fearing I would soon be dead, I was relieved to see my friends standing next to a paramedic. I ran towards them calling out their names. I got closer and said, “Hey Kirby…it’s me Bobby…I need help!”
A man grabbed his child to protect her and told his wife to get in the car. He said, ” There is no Kirby here, please don’t hurt my child.”
I realized I didn’t know anyone there and the ambulance was really an old white van. I was freaking out, covered in mud from head to toe, noticing I was naked – carrying a gun in my hand. I saw a bathroom door and ran inside, locking the door.
I looked in the mirror and saw a jagged, black and red face with it’s eyes cut out looking back. Smaller faces like I saw in the clouds were engraved in my skull gazing into me, speaking in unknown languages. Someone began beating on the door calling out my name. I was crying, trying to keep my sanity.
I looked up and my friends were standing around me asking me if I was alright. I was coherent enough to understand where I was for the first time in what seemed like days. I was on my back, lying on the hood of my own car.
They told me I had passed out and that someone had spiked the punch with a gallon of prepared, hallucinogenic mushroom tea. I asked how long I had been out for. I was astounded to find out it was only for around 15 seconds!!!!!
Around 5 hours later I was back to normal and drove home. We never found out who put the mushroom juice in the punch and to this day, many people believe I am the culprit.
