It never ceases to amaze me how companies make millions selling bogus products that do not work. In the early 70′s, a product called a solar clothes drier made a company millions upon millions. It consisted of a string and directions which read: Tie between two trees and hang your clothes on it while the sun is shining. Then you had that ridiculous million dollar idea, The Pet Rock, which was a stupid rock in a cardboard home. They made truckloads of cash.
Nowadays, one of the easiest ways to rip people off is selling them fraudulence in the area of “homeopathic” remedies. Just remember this, if it is labeled homeopathic, it doesn’t work. Homeopathic means it is modern day snake oil, or Corinthian leather. It means it contains nothing, or something in such small diluted amounts that it costs nothing to manufacture.
Here’s an example of what homeopathy is:
Salt causes you to retain water, which could be construed as a cure for dehydration by an evil marketer trying to sell you a bogus remedy. To make it into a magical remedy, you dilute the salt into water – not just once, but anywhere from a hundred to thousands of times. It becomes a sodium solution labeled “1000x”. The more times it’s diluted the more powerful it is…hahaha! Then, by harnessing imaginary resonant vibrations, it becomes a cure for water retention! That’s right, the opposite of what it normally did before it was diluted. If poison ivy makes you itch, then dilute poison ivy 1000x and it now cures the itch instead of causing it. It’s actually more complicated than that but you get the idea. In other words, it doesn’t work. It is a blatant marketing scam with extremely low overhead. One poison ivy leaf could make a million bottles of itch tonic.
Head On
The king of this type of product is one you may have seen advertised on TV called “Head On”, a waxy grease stick that you rub on your forehead to cure headaches. Please don’t waste your money on any of these deceptive products. On the other hand, the company who made this (Miralus Healthcare) are marketing geniuses. The words “head on” are repeated three times very loudly in a brainwashing fashion much like the word terrorism is repeated ad nauseam on the US daily news. This is an unforgettable commercial. Brainwashing is a fantastic marketing tool. It has been used successfully by people such as Adolf Hitler and president George W. Bush.
Miralus Healthcare made millions selling this fake Headache cure
My Ingenious Start up
To prey upon people’s fears of the supernatural, I want to market a special anti-ghost salt. Based on ancient folklore – salt has long been used to protect homes from ghosts, ghouls, demons and evil spirits. Just look at how many people bought a Ouija Board to contact spirits – an ingenious marketing plan indeed.
Unlike Kosher salt, Spirit Salt is blessed. $24.95 per box
I thought up a TV commercial for my product: Show a terrified little girl crying and shivering in fear. She screams, “Mommy, daddy, there’s a monster in my room. Please save me.”
The mom sprinkles “Spirit Salt” in her door way and window sill. The little girl goes to sleep with a smile on her face – protected from monsters. A priest pops up and says, “Don’t live in fear any longer. If you love your children, protect them from evil with Spirit Salt! Let your kids know you really care. Revellian’s Spirit Salt, don’t let the goblins get ya!”
You place it on the bottom shelves in grocery stores so frightened children will see it and beg. Make the parents feel guilty for not buying it. Also, the kids will think their parents don’t care about them if they don’t purchase it – pure brainwashing perfection. So, do I have a million dollar idea? I’m looking for investors, please contact me immediately if you have start up capital.
* The Head On picture is from Byrdhouse HeadOn: Apply Directly To The Forehead
* The Pet Rock picture is from Eikongraphica Why Sylvia Sucks
