First I want to talk about something that many of us suffer from but often feel ashamed of. Depression. I suffer from severe depression. For example, today I fell into a blackened pit of misery so dark that I threw up no less than 20 times. It caused me to cry uncontrollably for hours. All the while I am engulfed in visions of being killed over and over. The visions are the good part as odd as that may seem. I have almost died many times and being killed doesn’t scare me. Once while driving at 70 mph on an icy road (young and stupid) my car began spinning like a fan blade and I went off the road, sliding into a depression about 25 feet deep. When done, my heart didn’t even beat faster. It felt insignificant to me. A guy pulled up in a wrecker and asked me if he could pull me out. This happened less than 5 minutes after the incident.

Martial arts training for 30 years has enabled me to use fear as my friend. If you hit me, I’ll like it. If you hit me real hard I’ll love it. If you break something you’ll be my best friend but I’ll break 2 of yours – it’s all in the name of love. Depression on the other hand will make me cry like a baby and require assurance from friends and family that they will be there for me. While being depressed I have lucid daydreams of being eaten by crocodiles, ripped into blood drenched chunks of meat and bone. I look up and peer down the throat of a great white shark as my arms are sheared from my body, the thunderous clap of it’s mighty jaws snapping closed. Then I am lying there with no legs or arms on a mound of fire ants as they finish me off. These visions are what I think about to keep me from being afraid! I cannot explain it, but they keep me pacified until the depression passes. I began slipping into a depression today, but I have beaten it. It only took me 14 hours. It used to take 6 months or longer. I thank one special friend who somehow managed to help me get my head straight. Thank you.

Now I feel better. If you suffer from depression and need someone to talk to, I will talk to you. People who don’t suffer have a hard time understanding it. That’s ok. They are lucky and I’m glad they don’t understand, they don’t want to know. Since I feel like a normal person again I have written the following for everyone, I hope you enjoy it

In this modern world of incredible technology, highly developed intellects and rich philosophies, how is it that human kind is still filled with hatred? I live in the southern United States where racism has been an integral of our everyday lives. I was lucky enough to have parents who taught me that we are all created equal and should never look down on anyone regardless of their nationality, their job or where they live. I live these lessons every day of my life and I am proud of that. I would happily die for that. They also taught me not to find things wrong with people, but to find something good about them instead. There is a reason why I blog and I assure you it is not to be popular. This may sound ridiculous to some people and sometimes it sounds ridiculous to me. I hope in some small way that I will help make an impact on the way people perceive the world. We as human beings live so far below our capabilities in so many areas it makes me sick sometimes. We are very animal-like in our actions and you can turn on the news anytime and see that.

I am neither a republican or a democrat and personally I can’t see being either. Lets look at things on a smaller scale; ourselves. It is in each of us that decisions are made and we should be the ones making the decisions! Would you not agree that the easiest thing in the world is to not do something? I would love to hear, “Here’s your paycheck, go home and don’t work!”

That’s all you have to do when it comes to hating others, or wishing horrible things for people – just don’t hate. It’s easy. It’s the easiest thing in the world. I have a crazy belief that we bloggers are having an effect on world peace. It’s beneath the surface of what we see on the news but it is there. I have said this before and I’ll say it again:

We as bloggers, have a responsibility to ourselves and our neighbours form all across the world, to realize just how much power we actually have and the great things we are capable of to change things. Whether we realize it or not, we are changing things simply by communicating with each other through the craft of writing. Writing requires intelligence and blogging is writing! No matter if you write a personal blog or a money blog or whatever, you are communicating with the most diverse range of people imaginable!

I respect anyone for taking the time to write a blog and make friends from all over. It is important. You are important. Take pride in knowing that blogging is a force of communication unlike any other. It is the communication medium of the intelligent human being. I am here to communicate and enjoy my good friends and learn, laugh and enjoy the greatness that we all share.

It’s been a monumental week for me here and I am smiling right now because of all my good friends. I am moving on to this new day without looking back and we should all show some extra love to all of our blogging buddies from across the world this week. Why? Because I said so LOL! I have a lot of comments to type and a lot of people to see. Bottom line? Be proud to blog and do something nice for someone. Write something good about somebody. Write a comment on that one blog you never do. Give a little extra positive love to your fellow bloggers and don’t be shy. It’s a great day to go show some love, so get to it

The shark picture I cannot remember where I got it. If it is yours, let me know and I’ll properly giver you credit. I have had it on my pc for years.

Tags: severe depression, special friend