We’ve all experienced the dating milestone of first kiss (known as first base in some circles), which is something most people think of as completely safe. In today’s world of diseases like herpes, is kissing safe? This is a subject most people know nothing about, nor care to.
We all know that diseases like AIDS, gonorrhea, syphilis and others are spread through having unprotected sex. What about an unprotected kiss? I know many men and women who date dozens of people at a time and kiss people on the first date all the time without any worries. Most of us don’t want to request a complete disease screening before we date every person we meet – it would be rude, or would it?
is kissing safe
Let’s consider:
I’m on a date, and a girl asks, “Can I kiss you?” (who asks nowadays?)
I reply, “Hold on a second woman…I’m not just a piece of meat. Do you have an updated certification stating you’re free of STD’s (sexually transmitted diseases) with you? Is it current?”
Her face turns red, she becomes disgusted and says, “Take me home loser. You just killed any romance that could ever exist between us. You suck.”
I go home alone and lose her forever…ouch.
The Kiss That Keeps On Giving
Yes, it seems it would take all spontaneity out of the equation and ruin the natural vibe of attraction. The reason I’m writing this is because I know someone who got that one nightmare kiss, which has changed his life for the worse…forever. He kissed a pretty woman he had just met. She had no signs of anything out of the ordinary. She had good hygiene and seemed completely normal. He did not have sex with her, all he did was kiss her.
Soon after, he got huge sores on his lips and a painful, splotchy red rash all over his body. He went to the doctor and was diagnosed with Orofacial Herpes (herpes simplex 1) and Herpes Gladiatorum (a variation of herpes simplex-1 known as wrestlers herpes or mat herpes, which is common among wrestlers). He had a difficult time getting in touch with the woman, but finally did. She was shocked, saying she had never had any breakouts in her entire life and that he must have been infected by someone else. She was actually concerned and caring enough to get tested. It turns out she does have the virus, and is unknowingly spreading it around. Some people never get an actual outbreak, but can still be a carrier and spread it.
What if Barack Obama or John McCain have herpes simplex? That would scare the hell out of parents who let them kiss their babies (and they’ve kissed a lot of them. I’d be more worried about Bill Clinton)! What a way to start life, already having the virus. Don’t let every stranger kiss your baby. It’s also quite common for a parent to infect a baby and never even know it.
How scary is that? There is no cure for herpes, and once you get it, you have it forever. While there are antiviral drugs that can suppress it, it doesn’t go away. It is up to each and every one of us to get tested and to not assume we don’t have it. This case is not a freak incident, it happens all the time all over the world. Did you know that 1 in 5 people have genital herpes? In many countries the ratio is much higher. There are very high odds that any of us could get it.
Important Facts About Herpes
Most of us have heard about herpes simplex-1 (also known as cold sores, which appear on the lips). Many people have this virus, but don’t really know anything about it. We all know what genital herpes is, but we don’t associate genital herpes with oral herpes. Here are some frightening facts everyone should know:
- You can spread genital herpes when you don’t have any symptoms.
Fact. Genital herpes can be spread to a sex partner even when you have no symptoms. This is how most new cases of genital herpes are spread. - A person can have genital herpes and not even know it.
Fact. The genital herpes virus can be active in a person’s body even though they have no symptoms. That’s why out of the 50 million Americans who have genital herpes, 90% don’t even realize they are infected with the virus and may unknowingly infect others. - You can spread genital herpes to other parts of your body.
Fact. If you touch a genital herpes sore and then touch another part of your body, you can potentially spread the virus. Avoid contact with sores, and if you touch a sore, wash your hands with soap immediately. - Cold sores are just a lip infection and are not associated with herpes.
Myth. Cold sores are generally caused by herpes simplex virus type 1. This virus can also cause an initial outbreak of genital herpes if you have oral sex with someone who has a cold sore. - You can’t get genital herpes from oral sex.
Myth. Most type 1 genital herpes is caused by unprotected oral sex. The type 1 herpes virus can be spread through oral sex—what was a cold sore on your partner may develop as genital herpes on you. It is important to use barrier protection such as latex condoms during oral sex. (Please see your doctor for alternative barrier methods if you’re allergic to latex.) - If you have been with your partner for several years and just found out that you have genital herpes, your partner must be cheating on you.
Myth. The fact that your partner has been diagnosed with genital herpes does not necessarily mean he or she has been unfaithful to you. Genital herpes outbreaks can occur with very mild symptoms that go unnoticed. You or your partner may have contracted the disease from a sexual partner a long time ago or your partner may have genital herpes without knowing it. You may want to consider having an open, honest conversation with your partner about your diagnosis without making any assumptions - The only people who get genital herpes are those who have had many sexual partners.
Myth. Genital herpes is very common. As many as 1 in 5 American adults have genital herpes. Because of this, you can get genital herpes even if you’ve had only one or two sexual partners. However, your risk of getting a sexually transmitted disease like herpes increases with the number of sexual partners you’ve had in your life.
Facts reprinted with permission from: Myths and Facts About Genital Herpes.
After seeing what happened to someone I actually know, it really got to me. He looked so horrible and had a severe outbreak. It’s a great idea for everyone to get tested (go to your local health department for the test, it’s much less expensive than your family doctor). Don’t just assume that because some person is attractive and looks normal, that they don’t have it. If someone really cares about you and you care about them, it shouldn’t be taboo to both get tested. It’s a really good idea. Here’s to your health!
